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Thread: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

  1. #1

    My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    Hi, I am a new member and this is my first post. This issue with my co-workers has begun to depress me so much that I just really needed to talk about it and see if anyone else has been in a situation like mine, and how they coped with it, because I am truly struggling. It's got to the point where I cry myself to sleep at night and dread waking up in the morning.

    I began this new job in April. I work part-time while most of the staff there are full timers. To begin with I didn't really notice anything was up. I am naturally a shy and quiet person, but I made a big effort to always smile and say hello whenever I saw the other staff throughout the day, even the ones that I barely ever have to work with. But there was one girl, right from the very beginning, who never wanted anything to do with me. If I said hello she would ignore me. If I walk into a room she turns her back on me. If I tried to begin a conversation with her, she would give me a one-word answer and then go back to ignoring me. She began this treatment of me in April when I was brand new to the job, and has continued it right up to now, and to this day I have no idea what her problem is with me. As an example of her hostility towards me, yesterday I bumped right into her as we were going in opposite directions along a corridor. I smiled and said, "Hi! How are you?" She totally ignored me. She did not even crack a smile but just walked on by as though I was invisible.

    But now it's not just her; it's other people too. Mainly it is this nasty girl's group of close friends. They have all begun to ignore me as though I don't exist. Yesterday I unfortunately had to work in close contact with two of them all afternoon. They talked over me the whole time as though I was not there, and the only time they said anything to me was to ask me to clean up after them. Any efforts by me to begin a conversation were met with one-word answers and they never meet my gaze. They did not say hello to me when I came in nor goodbye to me when I left. It is making me feel as though I am worth nothing and I cannot describe how much it is beginning to get me down.

    It's got to the point now where I am going outside in the freezing cold every day during my lunch breaks because I don't want to sit in the staff room with them all talking over me and acting as though I'm not there. I guess not sitting with them makes me even more excluded, but being in their company makes me feel so awful and crushes my self esteem - I just can't bear it anymore.

    What (if anything) ought I to do about this? :sad:

    Thanks for listening... I'm sorry it's so long.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    I'm sorry your going through this. I can only imagine how hard this is.

    My GF went through this same sort of thing not to long ago. She worked at this job for 2 years or more and slowly became isolated like you describe. I think before she quit her boss had been publicly trying to hire for her position and making rude comments. She finally found another job and was offered a position, later that day her bossed txted her, telling her when her last day would be. I think she just txted back and said "I don't think I will be coming back, thanks". She still hasn't recovered from that experience.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for the pain your feeling and sometimes talking helps. Its so easy to just say "find a new job" but I'm sure your situation is a little more complex. I hope you find what your looking for and if you ever need an ear please pm me.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    I'd ignore her as she does you. Some people are just assholes.
    :shelbi:

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    Workplace cliques suck. They're so much like schoolyard behavior. I'm sorry you're being exposed to this. Is there anyone impartial, like your supervisor, manager, or Human Resources that you can go to, and at least document that it exists.

    I wish you luck. We care and will listen to anything you have to say.

    Please take care and be good to yourself

  5. #5
    SF Friend total eclipse's Avatar
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    I agree with 1Lefty you need to report this behavior it is no different then the bully on the school yard Go to human resources report her okay and the others if this keeps up

    this is harassment hun and it is not acceptable.

  6. #6
    Senior Member pppqp's Avatar
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    hi violetsky. i'm sorry to hear that. i completely understand how much it sucks because i was in the same position once. is it possible to avoid this girl and the gang? true you inevitably see them everyday but how about not initiating conversations with them and ignoring them so you won't feel like being ignored because you ignore them first. (lol a bit childish but i did that too and in a strange way it helped) i'd also suggest you stick with kind colleagues. even if you can't be with them all the time, you'll feel a lot better at work knowing that someone cares.
    “There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.”
    — J. Hatchigan


    If there is no person to experience any deprivation of positive mental states how can we possibly say that a 'non-person' has been deprived or robbed in any way by not having been brought into existence? ¯\(°_o)/¯

  7. #7
    Senior Member eagles_fan's Avatar
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    Workplace bullying is what that sounds like. People can really suck and they're full of shit. Some people really will just treat you awfully for no reason. It's pretty disgusting.

    Just ignore them and go about your day. YOU have to pretend like THEY don't exist. Avoid them as much as you can.

    What's sad is that I was treated in the exact same way in high school. All of that ignoring they do to you has the effect of making you feel like you're not even worth anything. They're crappy people and they suck. They know what they're doing and they don't care, so why should you? Guess what? All you have to do is talk shit about them to whoever you're friends with and you'll feel better. All you have to do is tell them how they're hurting you to other people and you'll feel better just like that. Don't even say hi to them. If they bitch at you for not even greeting them, then they're double-full of shit because they didn't want to hear you talk to them before. That's just blatant ego-stroking.

  8. #8
    sadlyhurt
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    I'm going through the same thing but this time a co worker jumped in my face so I jumped back. Then she threatened to hit me with somethin but I was the one that got suspended for 3 days. Its not fair when these cliques can get away with shit but all I do is work and I'm respectful to everyone. I think its time to look for another job. What do you think?

  9. #9
    sadlyhurt
    Guest

    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    [QUOTE=sadlyhurt;1355026]I'm going through the same thing but this time a co worker jumped in my face so I jumped back. Then she threatened to hit me with somethin but I was the one that got suspended for 3 days. Its not fair when these cliques can get away with shit but all I do is work and I'm respectful to everyone. I think its time to look for another job. What do you think I should do? This has been going on for sometime now and I'm tired of it. They talk to m aboute then talk nasty about me behind my back. Help!

  10. #10
    Senior Member & Antiquitie's Friend
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    Re: My co-workers hate me and I just don't understand why

    Must be very difficult to cope with. Hope you can hang on long enough to get a good reference for your CV. Being without work and a salary is even more stressful.

    Is it so small a thing? To have laughed in the sun, to have loved, to have thought, to have done.

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