I don't know what is wrong with me

[gerald]

Hi All, first post.
Bit of background information - last year I was an unemployed alcoholic and was heading nowhere until I met the most amazing girl.
She helped me get sorted and I managed to find a job.
I also have a history of abusing recreational drugs (MDMA, cocaine, speed) although I was never dependant.

Fast forward a year and I've lost it all. I'm still drinking (albeit not every day) and through my idiotic, abusive behaviour my girlfriend has finished me and I have lost the job. It culminated last night with us having a massive physical fight and me smashing up her furniture.

I don't know what to do, I can feel myself spiralling out of control again and need to do something fast before its too late.
I have been seeking help with the drinking and have been seeing a counsellor but I don't feel that it is working. I think my issues are more deep rooted than just drinking, it is almost as if I have a self destruct button that I press when things start looking good for me.


HELP.

[Sadeyes]

Hi Gerald...I am so sorry you are going through this...i dont know if we really work things out without dealing with them directly...yes, the caring of others can be almost magical, b ut do we find the internal resolutions we need in these situations? I am not sure. Maybe speaking to a counselor and approaching the issues in a more intraspective manner would be helpful...welcome and thanks so much for sharing with us

[total eclipse]

It is good you recognixe you need to stop this spiral now hun. a councillor is good but how about a therapist one to help you withyur anger your self destruction. Therapist can help you to get back on that path again of being well hun hugs