I don't know where to start.

[NYJmpMaster]

Just a couple observations and to say that thinking of you and hoping things improve for you. First, credit history has nothing to do in the world with mental health (or any other medical)-I have read thousands of credit reports and this is something I know as a certainty. So far as work, the only people that know anything about you and your medical situation are you , your Dr, and whoever you choose to tell. If you do not want them to know then do not tell them. I believe you may get some small benefit from discussing it with your Dr and then decide if meds to make things tolerable are in your interest or not after you have discussed and can research the options.
Another thing I would wonder about- she is fighting with or pushing you away, fighting with her family and depressed- these are typical sign of depression and intentional isolation. I would wonder if she might have some serious depression issues herself in which case you could be beating yourself up over something that is largely her issue. I can't really think of a way to approach this with her - to ask a simple "what/now are you feeling?" without sounding accusing but it would be a good place to start if you could.....

[Rag doll]

Hey, Sinatra. First question I have, do still love your wife and do you think she still loves you? If one of these answers is no, don't you think separating might be the best way for both of you? Starting over at your might be hard, but maybe it's the breath of fresh air that you need?

Since you are in the church, maybe there is a priest you feel comfortable confiding in?

[Sinatra]

Thanks for the reply Jim. Things have mellowed out here for now. I can't say if I'll ever really go off the deep end or not. When things are good, they're not really good, more like a lull between storms. Sometimes they last longer than others. At 58 I see living long just means it's more likely I'll die of some debilitating disease. Cancer and a few others run in the family. If I didn't have the wife to care bout and that's the sort of future I have to look foreword to, dieng broke and losing the house to long term medical bills . . . Hard to see a bright side. Still here though so there's still chances that things will work out.
Thanks again Jim. For now, no worries,