Mature student issues (full time student)

[marmaloon]

Currently I am in a full time College program. This is the 2nd year. I find I am having difficulties with the socialization aspect of the course, which is really not a part of the course, I am finding it a pain in the ass. Why? Well I am pushing 50 and I am dealing with people a lot younger than me sometimes (I avoid it as much as possible) I don't have patience for the frat crock of bullshit, ironic as even though I never went to college in my early 20s, I was in the army for 4 yrs and there was a lot of servicemen's sophomoric bullshit going on, so I have been there, done that. I guess the fate of the old is to have the young inflicted on them.

Socialization is a part of the course curriculum through enforced group projects - (no student left behind sort of stuff, in my opinion). I have been in the service, I know what teamwork is, been there, done that, not really into the: "new improved" teamwork of 25yrs later though.

Other than telling me to stop being such a self conscious douchebag, can you offer any other advice? At this point I am only showing up for the classes and disappearing as soon as the class is finished, no socialization, which even I recognize is weird.

Not really in a good mood for cooperation with other students etc.

I am going to get into a job type that has nothing to do with customer service, and a job which is easy to ignore the crap / bullshit office stab in the back politics, which is something I imagine my class mates would be very good at. I was in customer service for years, I got burned out on it, so in short necessity was the reason I got into customer service, and necessity is the reason why I got out of customer service (this was in call centers).

Thanks for any insights you can provide.

Have a good week.

[AlienBeing]

I don't know. I was a mature student for awhile in my early thirties and made some very nice younger friends. One was also a mature student but still a few years younger that me. And I was sort of in class friends with another about my age. I went back in my forties again and didn't have any interest that time in making friends there. They were just far too young for me. I was polite with all and sort of friendly with some, mainly for the purposes of cooperating on projects. I never saw any behaviour in the class setting that annoyed me and I didn't really venture beyond that socially. But I was in Chemistry and Laboratory Medicine at the top university in the country, so the students were all very serious it seemed. Lab. Med. in particular had only the most serious, brightest, most motivated students because of the high second year GPA in general science needed to get into it. I loved those classes actually. The high calibre of class discussion was just so uplifting. I did try going to some social events for mature students and part-time students (which are mostly mature students working jobs at the same time), but I didn't meet anyone I found interesting and I seemed to be almost the only mature science student in the whole university. (Well, I met two others over several years but there were very few.) I guess, I would advise you to look for events like that, even though it didn't work for me. Otherwise keep to yourself if you aren't fond of the crowd. There has to be at least a few more mature, and/or serious types there. You might want to at least make acquaintances for the purposes of helping each other academically. Although it was mostly me doing the helping, I found that helping other people can reinforce and clarify concepts to the person explaining as well. I never enjoyed group projects even when I was younger because I always ended up doing all the work to ensure the group got an A. There's not really any cure for that except that U of T had started using a group grading system that helps, in which everyone gets an individual mark on their section and a group mark on the project as a whole. That cuts down on the coat tail riding a bit. You could suggest that but I doubt they would suddenly implement it. It's not terribly weird to just go home after class, at least not where I was. In fact it seemed more the norm. I don't know, guess I was at a different sort of place.

I guess I might also add to look around and see if there are any other older students, even if they are still much younger that you. If you can find any, sit beside those people and talk to them to see if you like them. (Sometimes you won't though, lol. One older student I tried to get to know was so full of himself because he was in engineering and taking a chem class for some reason or other. He bragged that engineering students never did labs. I thought he would be in for a real shock to find the lab section of the course the most challenging part of it, as they always were. For some reason he thought the engineering crowd smarter than the chem crowd and I found that so offensive. Anyway, age isn't always any guarantee you'll be compatible. Some of my best friendly project coworkers were brilliant, hard working kids right out of high school. Try to keep an open mind when meeting people too I guess, is what I would say.

[marmaloon]

Thanks Alien Being - nice to meet a fellow traveller.

[AlienBeing]

I was still adding stuff when you replied so maybe read the last part again.

[Acy]

Good for you for being in a college program as a mature student!

Much of the college scene can be "young" and you've experienced the same kind of stuff it elsewhere, as you said. Maybe in addition to seeking out other mature/older students, look closely at the ones in your program. There are likely a few who are quieter and not into the "young" scene and maybe they would be good people to hang out with. The other thing that ran through my mind is that you could be a wonderful mentor in "life experience" for some of the college "kids". Sure, you're all taking the same course, but you have lived a lot more and might be able to be a role model for someone who is floundering or who wants a more mature lifestyle at college.

I don't know if this applies to you, but kids these days are tech savvy and can be a great help in that area. Maybe that's an aspect where they can help you as you help by being a mature sounding board?

[marmaloon]

Good for you for being in a college program as a mature student!

Much of the college scene can be "young" and you've experienced the same kind of stuff it elsewhere, as you said. Maybe in addition to seeking out other mature/older students, look closely at the ones in your program. There are likely a few who are quieter and not into the "young" scene and maybe they would be good people to hang out with. The other thing that ran through my mind is that you could be a wonderful mentor in "life experience" for some of the college "kids". Sure, you're all taking the same course, but you have lived a lot more and might be able to be a role model for someone who is floundering or who wants a more mature lifestyle at college.

I don't know if this applies to you, but kids these days are tech savvy and can be a great help in that area. Maybe that's an aspect where they can help you as you help by being a mature sounding board?

thanks for the input, I was 8 yrs in call centers with 4 yrs in technical support and internet support so I am not a tech dummy. thanks for the characterization and input nonetheless. Online games still suck in my world.

[Acy]

thanks for the input, I was 8 yrs in call centers with 4 yrs in technical support and internet support so I am not a tech dummy. thanks for the characterization and input nonetheless. Online games still suck in my world.

LOL! Guess I'm thinking of how much I rely on my sis's kids to do tech stuff for me. Sounds like you have that area well covered.

[marmaloon]

LOL! Guess I'm thinking of how much I rely on my sis's kids to do tech stuff for me. Sounds like you have that area well covered.

No offence taken Acy, we should all try and pull together.

To derail, you hear a lot about people who 'want to save the world'. To all, nstead of forming yourself into a human herd and putting on the blinders, abandon the public school leavings and start 'saving the world' by remaining open minded and forgetting your cultural and social biases, begin to 'save the world' by erasing the caste mentality, which is nothing but a ball and chain. This is one piece of advice I can give youth who are just finished high school and becoming responsible adults.

Forming yourselves into clans that are a continuation of your public school life is just an insult to others. (leave behind the public school leavings, henceforth you are alone in the crowd).

End of navel gazing, and boring rant

[marmaloon]

In any case it's not such a big deal I guess edit goes away after a time period?

[thedeafmusician]

i am currently a student. not a mature aged one -- i'm twenty.

having said that, i am friends with several mature aged students. i have almost equal amounts of close adult friends and close friends that are my age. for the most part i can get along with adults equally as well as 'kids', but maybe i am the exception to the rule.

i guess the advice i can give is be friendly, just pluck up the courage and say hi. most people are nice enough if you get to know them but the thing is that most aren't gonna talk to you if you don't start the conversation. it's as easy as turning around in your chair and smiling and saying 'hi, i'm (name). what's yours?'. to be honest i've made most of my friends from uni by doing this. not just with young people but mature aged students as well. if you're open minded to being friends with young people, they will be happy to be friends with you too. or just hunt out other mature aged students to talk to if you'd rather not have such a large age gap.

i hope it works out for you.