Suicide aftermath...

[Josie]

Hi, everyone really just joined thus forum for some advice, unfortunately my brother in-law took his own life on Saturday it has left us all shattered he left behind a wife and 2 teenage daughters. He was very depressed, he ran his own business and had a lot of money worries and stresses at home he had tried before but my sister found him in time but he refused to get help. His funeral is tomorrow (Thursday) and I am dreading it but what really worries me is after that I really wanted to see if anyone on here had any advice to help guide me in doing the best that I can to be there for my sister and her girls??

Many thanks josie x

[Sadeyes]

Hi Josie...welcome and so sorry for your loss...as there are many people here whose loved ones have taken their lives, I am sure you will be well advised...in tragic situations such as this, I find being 'myself' and understanding the guilt and heartache that is being felt is critical...your sister might be reciting what she could have done to have saved him, but it is important for her to know that there was nothing more she could have done...it is clear he had love, and a supportive family...please keep us posted how you are doing and know there is support for you here...again, my condolences to you and your family

[Josie]

Hi thanks for the reply, he really was loved so much tomorrow is going to be so hard we know we have a mountain to climb what doesn't help is his family are blaming my sister because she didn't keep her house clean which seriously annoyed him and they're blaming his daughters who were constantly asking him for money he didn't have!! But doesn't most families have these problems?? And they don't go to these lengths to solve them!! He had a business that was failing miserably for years and he wouldn't admit it to anyone it's killing me not saying anything to his family because if we're honest we all maybe could have done more. Don't know how we are gonna get thru this.

[total eclipse]

His family are in pain and will strike out but they are wrong in attacking the ones he loved. I think now have to focus on the children and mother they may need some councilling to help them through this painful time grief therapy as a family they must know t hat noone is at fault here ok NOONE it is an illness depression and if he chose not to get treatment then that was his chose It was the illness that took him away make sure they know that hun I hope you too have support for YOu hugs

[pickwithaustin]

Feel free to message me if you would like, because I'm not going to post a whole lot of advice here... but I have been through this. Two October's ago, my 18 year old son died by suicide. Our coping method was to form a non-profit organization that works to educate suicide prevention awareness. We have gone from a small grass roots nothing, with no financial backing, to being involved greatly in our community working with schools, government, hospitals, and other organizations. We're members of the Texas Suicide Prevention Council, and sit on our county's Mental Health Task Force. Becoming so deeply involved was the therapy my wife and I used to cope with surviving this tragedy. Honestly, losing a loved one in this way (especially a child) rips your heart completely out and it kills those of us who otherwise were still living. Individuals with suicidal idealization do not wish to hear about how harshly their actions will affect their loved ones, but it is fact and truth and must be told regardless.

One short piece of advice that I can give is that anyone addressing someone who has lost someone to suicide should never say, "It will be alright." That was, to me, probably the worst thing anyone during our grieving could have said... and say it, people will. The grieving, by the way, never ends. Two years later, my son is on my mind every second of every 24 hour day... including in the nightmares when I sleep.