So who's single, over 55, alone here with no friends or family?

[Rubydo]

I am 58 and never thought I'd be in this position. Frankly, since I don't really see folks in their 30-40s age bracket as being real antiquities, perhaps we can call ourselves oldsters or the over 55's and start a new club. Let's face it, they have a lot more options of finding mates, starting families and having a chance for a good life. I hope there are others like me to start some good discussions on new threads.

If anyone is interested, please post here and introduce yourself.

I'd like to cover topics like:

What do you do when you're asked for a next of kin, a contact person or a beneficiary?
Who gets your house and stuff when you die?
How do you handle your lonliness?
What keeps you going?
How do you handle the holidays?
What are your best memories, sucesses, and dreams?
I am sure we can find more topics that are relative to us.

I guess I ran off my friends due to my depression. I don't see myself as Debbie-Downerand try to maintain a sense of humor but I expected friends to understand that I had no control over the things that happened to me. Geeze. Luckily I have a few email buddies left that still talk to me and send me jokes and photos, and now I've found this site and hope to make new friends in my situation, becase being single and all alone is very different.

I thought I could hang on as long as I had my darling dog, but I just lost her too this weekend. I also lost my man-friend of 12 years (well, I can't call him a boyfriend!) a couple months ago and don't see a replacement in my future. He finally gave up on me and my problems and was very mean about it.

Lord, I wish I could type here in a bigger font instead of afterwards cuz my eyes aren't what they used to be!

[jimk]

Hello iRubydo.. Call me Jim.. Am 65 now, single, retired yrs ago cause was mentally ill. Got 36 yr old son Johnny who with me except tues and fri nights when with momma.. John autistic and nonverbal.. Very easy to love.. Reason I am still alive and kickin'..

Whole family including Katie my ex have started growing up recently..puts a very different perspective on things once one acquires some common sense.. Shame how long go stupid.. Better later than never I guess..

Ever want to talk feel free to message me..tv, Jim

[Terry]

Hi I'm 57, one parent still living and very needy, and my son lives with me.
I have two parrots, but miss my old cat who died at the ripe old age of 23.
He and I had a longer relationship than any "partner"

[Acy]

I'm almost 55 and have one sister and an elderly father. Sis lives just north of me and Dad is in a seniors' home just south of me. I live with my beloved cat Star.

[Rubydo]

Hello everyone, I'm so very glad y'all posted, I was beginning to wonder if I was really all alone! It seems a shame that not many are posting on this forum. Perhaps they don't want to be considered antiques?

Do any of you really feel their age? I have to try and remember just how old am sometimes and get frustrated being judged too old, especially when job hunting. What's your pet peeve about age?

Does anyone have a particular topic they'd like to discuss?

[Acy]

The age and job hunting dilemma is tough. I think lots of people are facing ageism in the job arena these days.

[flowerchild]

Hello Rubydo... I've been lurking around these boards on and off for several months and until now have not been inclined to post or reply to any threads. Having said that, your post has brought me out from the shadows of lurking. Thank-You for the nudge. Your desire to discuss the topics you mentioned above are also some things I'd like to explore. Did you start the 55+ group? I noticed there haven’t been any threads started there yet. If you take your questions one at a time and create new threads, perhaps we can start some good discussions. I’ll watch that board and add my 2-cents when I can, and chances are, you’ll even get some change back ;~)

<<<HUGZ>>> to you on the loss of your beloved Dobbie. The grief you are experiencing must be devastating and the tragedy you've endured surely adds so much more depth to your heartbreak. These are understandably rough times for you and I’m not going to throw around any of the usual clichés, because none of them really help. Just know that it’s Okay to be sad. It’s never easy losing a loved-one, especially when you bear it alone.

FYI - S/F … 55-y/o … Mid-Atlantic, USA

[Rubydo]

Hi flowerchild, am glad you came out of your lurking, you're welcome to the nudge. You may have to nudge me right back because I'm so very depressed. And many thanks for the hugz. I haven't been here much lately, I'm trying so hard to find another doggie to love, it isn't easy.

I did not start the 55 club, I have been waiting for someone to post, like the person that formed it! Please don't wait for me everyone, start talking here, there anywhere, I need to get out of my black doom. And as I've said, my old eyes are having a problem with posting here too.

[Theodora]

Missed this thread when I posted on the 55+ group. Felt a bit silly just saying "hello" but didn't know what else to say. Thank you to all above. Good not to feel so alone. I put my lawyer down as next of kin. Hurts doing this but lets those who need to know or might do what the situation is.
I made a will after I lost my husband over twenty years ago. My lawyer suggested it as then I had something to leave. I had no close relatives, only cousins I hadn't seen in years. My lawyer said unless I was happy for them to inherit I should choose someone so I put down someone I was fond of at the time. Have thought of changing it a few times but I have nothing valuable to leave.

[flowerchild]

You may have to nudge me right back because I'm so very depressed.

It’s not surprising that you are very depressed. I believe that when a person experiences extreme shock and tragedy, like what you've been through recently, the brain fires in such a way that it becomes overloaded with residual toxic-like effects and it needs time to heal and cleanse. And part of that healing process requires purging of some, or ideally all, of that darkness. And there in-lies the double edged sword of being alone. All those dark thoughts have no place to go except to bounce around in your mind and poison your psyche, because you don’t have an understanding/trusted ear to confide in, (in Real Life). Even when there is somebody around, (from my experiences), most people really aren't comfortable hearing about that type of pain and anguish. Especially if it’s for an extended time or something that deserves being repeated many times. As a result, the isolation deepens. Am I out of line here? Or do you agree? But in your own best interest, you really should find a way to purge some of the pain you have now. If you’re chatting now, that’s a good start. Or perhaps you can journal your thoughts more extensively in your “Member’s Diary” on this site. Posting here is another option. Just get it out. Writing it out and than seeing everything in black and white has been a proven technique for years.

And as I've said, my old eyes are having a problem with posting here too..

Do you know how to enlarge your "view" by holding down the CTRL key and spinning your mouse wheel UP one click at a time? Doing that only affects your screen but not how the post will appear on the board.