Hello. I am a 42 year old male in a good relationship, though filled with tension, it is still good. I have three loving children and one loving grandchild. I have a few hobbies that I love. My job is good. It is a low pay hard work job, but it's a job and work is one of my hobbies. I suffer from severe agoraphobia. I am so frustrated after fifteen years of this that I have turned to suicide as the only way of getting over this. I am looking for a place to go and vent/chat/think. I truly do not think I want to die otherwise I would not be here, I would do it. I am trying to figure out why I am thinking this way. My mind is scattered at this point so I need to end this conversation before it turns to rambling. I just wanted to say hello.