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Thread: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

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    I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    Title basically explains what I desperately would like to change with myself. I want to be less pessimistic and negative and A LOT more optimistic and positive. I don't do it on purpose, but I'm starting to realize just how pessimistic my words are and the way that I say them. I don't want to exude negativity anymore. I think the reason why I've been acting like this so much is because I have gone most of my life basically a miserable wreck without knowing the cause of my problems. I've grown up with mental issues and depression, and lately I've been having lots of strong feelings of self-pity and hopelessness.

    Does anyone know of any therapeutic methods that have worked well for them in improving your overall attitude and optimism. I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer" any more. I want people to want to be around me!

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    that's great arthur.

    good luck with that

    for a start, why not make a list of all the things you are greatful for in your life?. then as you think of more things, write them down..
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    That's a good idea, thanks.

    Do you have any experience with meditation by chance? I've decided that I would really like to give it a try; I have a feeling it may benefit me. I just don't know where to begin. I guess a book, but a website would be awesome because books are so 20th century.

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur523 View Post
    That's a good idea, thanks.

    Do you have any experience with meditation by chance? I've decided that I would really like to give it a try; I have a feeling it may benefit me. I just don't know where to begin. I guess a book, but a website would be awesome because books are so 20th century.


    i do actually have a few meditation cds

    the 1 i like using is stress and anxiety relief- but i've not done it in a while

    i like my relaxing music... my oceans, my nature.. that kind of thing
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    I'm like that, a pessimist.

    In a way, I wanna change it. I wanna be a peppy positive whatever. But at the same time, then I'd be like alot of people I dislike. Why would I wanna give up something that makes me, me? Even if my negativity drives me and others up a wall sometimes, at least I'm realistic...

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    I'm the same..always have been and have been told not to be so negative..
    CBT helps to get those thoughts going in the right direction..
    takes practice though

    I read somewhere that depressed people who are 'classed' as negative are in fact 'realists'
    we see things in a clearer context than the optimists that don't look so hard at things that are wrong in their lives
    My life goes on without me!!

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    Wow guys, I've definitely lowered my pessimism and increased my optimistic/neutral conversation speak. What I've been doing is self-meditation, and multiple other self-practices that helps center myself and clean my head (yoga, and green tea, lol). It's really helped me with my problem with holding in things that I want to say. I feel less miserable to be around with is basically what I'm saying lol.

    @ Gab

    I know what you mean about being a realist; it's much easier for a pessimistic person to second-guess and argue with the car saleman about whether you really need to get 4 more rotors to go along with your 4 break pads. Mr. Optimism would just "oh jeez, well that's just too bad. Just let me know when you're ready for that check!". But as far as everything else goes, being constantly pessimistic all the time is not only quite annoying, but it shows that you have a big problem with your attitude and with getting along with other people... and chicks usually aren't into those types of people unless they're 17 and you got a sweet motorcycle to take her on rides.

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    Senior Member pppqp's Avatar
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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    Quote Originally Posted by IV2010 View Post
    I read somewhere that depressed people who are 'classed' as negative are in fact 'realists'
    we see things in a clearer context than the optimists that don't look so hard at things that are wrong in their lives
    Agree. Pessimists know who they are and their limits. But oftentimes reality is labeled as negativity. As a pessimist, I shut up most of the time.
    “There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.”
    — J. Hatchigan


    If there is no person to experience any deprivation of positive mental states how can we possibly say that a 'non-person' has been deprived or robbed in any way by not having been brought into existence? ¯\(°_o)/¯

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    Re: I need help being more optimistic (and less pessimistic)

    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur523 View Post
    Title basically explains what I desperately would like to change with myself. I want to be less pessimistic and negative and A LOT more optimistic and positive. I don't do it on purpose, but I'm starting to realize just how pessimistic my words are and the way that I say them. I don't want to exude negativity anymore. I think the reason why I've been acting like this so much is because I have gone most of my life basically a miserable wreck without knowing the cause of my problems. I've grown up with mental issues and depression, and lately I've been having lots of strong feelings of self-pity and hopelessness.

    Does anyone know of any therapeutic methods that have worked well for them in improving your overall attitude and optimism. I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer" any more. I want people to want to be around me!
    The most popular method appears to be religion. Pick one, and make yourself believe in it. Soon, you will be high as a kite about everything in life.

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