Learned helplessness

[Pow]

So I read this article and it made me think. I thought that i'd share this link since the majority of people on here could relate to it.
http://youarenotsosmart.com/2009/11/...-helplessness/
Hope you enjoy reading it

[LongRoad95]

"Every day – your job, the government, your addiction, your depression, your money – you feel like you can’t control the forces affecting your fate. So, you stage microrevolts. You customize your ringtone, you paint your room, you collect stamps. You choose."

This article made a lot of sense to me! I usually change my desktop. Not much but I like HD wallpapers of nature. Some really good looking scenes

[chjones21]

Really interesting! Although it doesn't exactly tell you what to do if you HAVE got learned helplessness except don't be helpless. Ummm yeah, right will do!

I don't know why I have learned helplessness - I sure as sh*te wasn't given electric shocks every day. I had a nice childhood but nonetheless... I definitely have it. And I can't stand failure because my ego can't take it and I can't stand responsibility because I always feel I will fcuk up and let someone down.

That said, it could be worse I guess. Once you get used to the electric shocks ya know, they just ain't that bad --- and what's wrong with lying in a pen staring at the stars. I jump out and I am what? Lying in the gutter looking at the stars - maybe no-one is going to shock me but perhaps a lion will come and eat me instead, this way at least I know what is coming.... yup I guess I got it learned good.

But I think it would be helpful if they gave some unlearning techniques.

[poison]

not sure if i agree with it. we don't necessarily have control of our destiny and even if we do to an extent, external factors will generally play a bigger role in the grand scheme of things.

[Tim.]

That was an interesting article. Thanks for sharing!

Originally Posted by chjones21

Really interesting! Although it doesn't exactly tell you what to do if you HAVE got learned helplessness except don't be helpless. Ummm yeah, right will do!

I think the article suggests that succeeding at easy tasks is a good starting point. Then it says to learn to "fail with pride," which I only partially understand.

Originally Posted by chjones21

I don't know why I have learned helplessness - I sure as sh*te wasn't given electric shocks every day. I had a nice childhood but nonetheless... I definitely have it.

I feel like I'm in the same boat to a degree. Why can't I get anything done? I had a good family and plenty of successes growing up. But maybe I don't have this, maybe I have something similar but different. As in, I got the same results whether I put in a lot of effort to succeed or was really lazy, so now why bother? I don't know.

Good article though.

[poison]

fail with pride = acknowledge that you tried your hardest and sometimes you just can't win. it's all a part of the game. oh, and be forgiving with yourself.

[chjones21]

feel like I'm in the same boat to a degree. Why can't I get anything done? I had a good family and plenty of successes growing up. But maybe I don't have this, maybe I have something similar but different. As in, I got the same results whether I put in a lot of effort to succeed or was really lazy, so now why bother? I don't know.


I was the same, on that level totally. At school I got exactly the same results whether I worked hard (which probably I never really did) or just sorta did it very last minute, relying on --- (I am not sure what actually) relying on my ability always to just get by without ever failing.

Now I wonder what it is too. Whether it is low-level depression connected with a stress source that I can't recognise.

At the moment, it is quite bad - I am feeling guilty (as ever - I think that is inbuilt somewhere) and am avoiding opening emails, answering the phone. I just am nervously thinking that "I am in trouble" or that it will be bad news or I just can't quite cope with any of that at the moment.

Right now, my phone is actually ringing --- I am not going to answer it!

Oh blast. Why are our brains so difficult with us, sometimes???????? I must try and learn a different way.

Good luck to you!

[chjones21]

fail with pride = acknowledge that you tried your hardest and sometimes you just can't win. it's all a part of the game. oh, and be forgiving with yourself.

I don't think I know how to try properly. I was one of those children who were bright when they were younger - always top of the class and getting the star badges etc. etc. and so I could always coast but I don't think I ever learned HOW to work or even how to try hard.

I never learnt that. I learnt how to get by - how to skim. Or something like that.

Now I think it may be an ego issue too --- in that if I don't fully try, I don't have to recognise that I am no good because I can put failing down to not trying, rather than down to not being capable!

Or something like that. Whatever it is - I probably desperately need to change it.

Or alternatively, maybe someone has to fail in order that others can be seen to succeed!??!

[johnnysays]

Originally Posted by poison

fail with pride = acknowledge that you tried your hardest and sometimes you just can't win. it's all a part of the game. oh, and be forgiving with yourself.

Or... admit you failed, but now you know how to win next time