What's Your Beef!?

[TerrapinStation]

The fact that it's 2 months after my accident and i'm still waiting for the insurance company payout of $3K or so. Hence, a trip to get a $5 sixer of beer and a $5 sandwich costs $25 with cabs, a $40 bag of smack costs $80 after cabs and trains, and worst of all, this money is the last thing keeping me in the hellhole where I live. When it finally arives I will be free to go to Chicago to be with my Scarlet Woman (for most people this translates as "girlfriend" and thats close enough, for fellow occultists/Thelemites it has a much deeper meaning)
The fact that until this money arrives i have to take cabs EVERYWHERE or beg people/buy them off to drive me, like for example i want to go get high, i have to give half the bag to the driver.
The fact that I'm so cold and out of methadone (going crazy from withdrawakl is like the worst menta illness ever with a nice physical aspect added in) that i cant bring myself to do my magickal workings/occult/Thelemic studies etc.
And save me the antidrug, anti-occultism speeches, deaf ears and all that

[boo]

When someone buy the last strawberry stuffed jelly donut at the donut shop.

when i want to make french toast but i'm out of bread.

When my bank account shows - $11.56

Beer costing $6 at the strip club...

[pit]

Also, when I'm walking in my snowboots and my socks keep falling down.

Ugh, that's a MAJOR one!

[boo]

Everyone praising Up in the air... It's such rubbish

[grim_manifestation]

I'm quite misanthropic, so Humanity in general I find wearisome. 'We' are breeding way, way too much.

[Avarice]

• When I try to watch something online and it takes ages to buffer.
• When someone carries on lying to you about something that you already know the truth about.
• When people call you, you ignore it, then they call you again; as if the first time wasn't enough.
• When someone says "Yeah, yeah" (or similar) to me. It's so disrespectful. It pisses me off so fast.

[Vagrant]

When people argue over you for nothing.

[Bambi]

Countdowns...I don't like them. There is a way to say your at your end without giving us all a play by play of how many days/hours are left. I know this is bs on my part as I have a date but I don't intend to let you all know days before with a friendly little reminder "Hey Bambi Has Two Days To Live". Like what are you supposed to do with that? Wish me well? You should cuz if I do a post like that I am basically telling you what I am going to do not asking you to help me with the feelings and emotions associated with wanting to die, I am not asking for help I am asking for a fucking audience for my performance which is the show before the final act ..the final act being my killing my self. Yes a countdown thread is a final performance in a fucking show played out on line basically with a final act that the audience is somehow supposed to alter by giving heart felt replies and worry their fucking asses off. This is a pro-life site with very caring members and to start a thread countdown is to hold all of you hostage!! I mean it, it is a fucking manipulating game to put the burden on the audience to somehow convince the main actor, who is also the fucking director and producer to change the script to an ending they would like and not the ending as stated by the main actor. It is holding caring people hostage plain and simple. One either knows the end in advance or decides rather spur of the moment. If you know in advance as I do there is no need to make a fucking announcement..my friends know I am suicidal-I don't hide that fucking fact I have a date and don't think any here do. If it is spur of the moment then your thread is titled something along the lines of.."At my end" "Is it Tonight?"and posted in Crisis Forum. Well that is my beef...countdowns hold the forum hostage..

[CloudCatching]

^ This.

People who use threatening their own life to get something out of someone.

And my cat who meows and meows at the door expecting you to open it and when you do he just runs away like he suddenly changed his mind and whatever was outside the door doesn't appeal to him.... Then to only do it again a minute later.

[Vagrant]

^^^^^^ Take a break dear.

If you know in advance as I do there is no need to make a fucking announcement..my friends know I am suicidal-I don't hide that fucking fact I have a date and don't think any here do. If it is spur of the moment then your thread is titled something along the lines of.."At my end" "Is it Tonight?"and posted in Crisis Forum. Well that is my beef...countdowns hold the forum hostage..

Many people out there probably look for attention but not at all, i mean for me it's not the situation my plan is already set and ready to be executed (By the way it's not ebcause i announced my death at 11:30pm that i won't kill myself 2 hours later for real you know what i mean..) i am just seeking for help to do not do it and it seems to work sometime and sometime no.

Countdowns hold the forum hostage..

Sure but sometime you've to take it seriously.. It's not because we're behind a screen that everything we could say on internet is false some suicide is announced virtualy too heh.