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  • Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
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    Thread: Suicide witness

    1. #1
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      Unhappy Suicide witness

      May 18,2009 My husband, while standing 2 ft in front of me pulled out a Ruger Black Hawk 44 mag revolver and shot himself in the head. Please Help. Cant deal with this. How does anyone live with this replay in their head?

    2. #2
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      Re: Suicide witness

      Hello and welcome to the forum.

      I am so sorry for your loss It breaks my heart.

      Have you sought counselling or any professional help? Please,don't try and deal with this alone. There is a lot of help out there

      Don't ever look down on someone unless you are helping them up!

    3. #3
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      Re: Suicide witness

      Wow... that is horrible.. :sad: I agree with daisy, please see someone professional about this, you really need to.
      Do you have supportive family and friends around you at this difficult time?

    4. #4
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      Re: Suicide witness

      husbsuicide, first: Welcome. Second: my sincere condolances. What happened is both horrifying and tragic, and I feel for you. You did not deserve to witness that. I can't begin to imagine how you feel.

      What you are experiencing with this replaying in your mind is part of the symptoms of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Considering the circumstances, this would be a very normal reaction for you to be having. I'm honestly not sure what to suggest to stop the morbid reminiscing, except to do anything you can to divert your attention. Sometimes just screaming "STOP!" (even if just in your own head) is enough to draw your attention to what you're doing, so that you can divert yourself. Reading, drawing, writing, action movies, loud music and singing... these things help.

      The biggest help you need is to seek therapy to get through the emotions you're feeling connected to this horrific experience. Please seek help.

      My best wishes for you.
      “Real misanthropes are not found in solitude, but in the world; since it is experience of life, and not philosophy, which produces real hatred of mankind”
      ~ Giacomo Leopardi ~
      "If you're not angry, you're not paying attention."
      ~ Unknown ~
      "What could be more desperate and tragic than choosing a mental illness as the only way to be heard?"
      ~ Susan J. Dunlap ~
      “Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society.”
      ~ Thomas Szaz ~

    5. #5
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      Re: Suicide witness

      i am so sorry to hear about what happened. Witnessing a suicide like this is something that haunts you. You can learn to deal with this, but please do not try to do it alone. You need the support of someone trained to help you deal with the emotional aspects of this trauma. We will halp support you as much as we can, but you will need more than we can offer. Feel free to PM me if you would like. I have been there and understand what this is like. I am still learning to deal with things, The sights, the sound, the smell. My thoughts are with you.

    6. #6
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      Re: Suicide witness

      I completely agree. It is a normal reaction for you to be replaying this in your mind, most likely nightmares, disturbing thoughts, continual questions as to WHY!? If you have gotten through this without developing PTSD, I would be amazed. Your body/mind is actually trying to protect you, even though it seems as though it is working against you. It is unable to process the trauma right now, which again, is completely normal.

      I would advice you to seek councelling for this RIGHT AWAY! And I would recommend Cognitive behavioral therapy as the treatment,however it will be up to your psychologist (and a psychologist is someone who I strongly recommend seeing over other types of mental health professionals.) However, you need to find what works for you. You need to find someone who you can trust and you may have to try a number of different types of therapists or therapies. Please don't do this alone. The advice on this forum is good advice, but we are not professionals and what you experienced was an incredibly horrific thing to experience.

      If you can, it might also be worthwhile to check out books on suicide and the "why's" of it, as well as books on PTSD, traumas, and other mental health books. But they may perhaps be a trigger so be careful.

      I am sending you my love and warmth. You are the strongest person alive in my opinion, to keep going on after witnessing such a thing.

      All my love,


      P.S. You could try group therapy as well potentially. And know that no matter how much it may seem so, you are NOT the first person to witness the suicide of their loved one or even specifically husband. Trust me. There is someone else in this world (probably quite a number of them) who have witnessed similar events.

    7. #7
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      Re: Suicide witness

      my mom went through kind of the same thing
      she saw my grandma dead on the garage floor,
      well, opened the garage to that sight,
      so i guess it's kinda along the same lines.

      my mom checked into her doctor and they perscribed
      her with antidepressants almost immidiately.

      also, they said that it would be good to go to a therapist
      or a consuler or a support group. sometimes it's nice to
      know that other people have been through the same thing.
      they said that i wouldn't be hurt this time
      but they were only half right

    8. #8
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      Jul 2009
      deep in the heart of texas

      Re: Suicide witness

      time..and lots ofhugs

    9. #9
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      Sep 2007
      England, London

      Re: Suicide witness

      Hmm... when I was 8 years old, March 4th 2000, I saw a woman jump off the 11th floor of a towerblock, and got given councellors and the such, none of which helped really. I still get the nightmares today, however, she was a close friend to the family. I know it's not the same as your husband, but she was close to the family, and after 9 years, the feelings of, well whatever I was having back then, they have eased. I guess what I'm trying to say is, time really does heal. I've seen it heal myself, and I know it will heal you too.

      Best wishes, and I'm always here if you wish to talk. Just a pm away.
      If you're not willing to help yourself, don't bother coming to me for advice.

      Do not wish for something, want it. Wishing will never get you anywhere, wanting something will give you the motivation you need.

      If you play by all the rules, you'll miss out on all the fun.

      Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway..

    10. #10
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      Re: Suicide witness

      welcoe to the forum, i am sorry for what you've been through. have you sought help from proffesionals for what you've been through? i'm sure you need some form of therapy for experiencing what you did.
      we are here for you and will try our best to help

      Nothing is truly pointless if you believe in it.

      :sleepy: :sheep2:

      There are hundreds of paths up the mountain,
      all leading in the same direction,
      so it doesn't matter which path you take.
      The only one wasting time is the one
      who runs around and around the mountain,
      telling everyone that his or her path is wrong.

      in my world, everybody's a pony, and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies.......paaahhh

      Bipolar just means you like penguins AND polar bears

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