99% of the people in my life, hurt me somehow...and believe me, I know people from all shape and sizes, and most of them I know since I was a kid. Even the ones that I thought that would never disappoint me did it, so I entered in a hard isolation period.
When I meant hurt and disappointment, I was referring to all kinds of abuses, cheating ex's, friends that teased my ex's on my back... well, those are things that I just want to leave in the past.
When I came to this forum, I was hoping that I could help someone according to my life experience. I consider myself a good friend, I always enjoy making people laugh and I do this for them that I couldn't do for myself.
It's heartbreaking when you know someone on the internet, you both share your stories and she/he ends up disappearing in the middle of the conversation without even saying goodbye. Or when you make an effort to talk to people you maintain a contact with, and they simply ignore you or forget about you as time goes by.
Well, I understand. Maybe internet it's not the best place to start friendships, or those people are hurt like me and it's hard for them to trust someone. It was also heartbreaking when some people here are afraid to be triggered when someone asks for help. I don't like judge anyone, but what do you except seeing on a suicide forum? Does any one here ignore you when you are needy too? I hate selfishness...and that's one of the motives that make me leave the forum.
Friendship and union are important to me... It's good to have someone that cares for you genuinely; someone that shares both happiness and sadness. I don't believe my standards are high, since I don't ask for too much.
I took this year to reconsider if this life it's worth it. It's hard when you grow up, believing that things will be different and they end up getting worse. Having to deal with those kind of problems - abuses, loneliness, fake people... - are something that you don't learn in school.
I appreciate your comments. Maybe you fit in my story... maybe I'm too naive...I don't know. I guess it's my dream since I was born - to meet someone that really cares.