Painless Suicide Methods – Pain Free Death

Most people find SF when the pain is so bad that they can’t take it any more. That is how I found SF. If you are here, reading this, the chances are you are so tired of hurting, so exhausted by the relentless black hole of pain inside you that you are looking for a way, ANY way, to make it stop. Painless suicide methods seem like the holy grail right now. I get it – believe me – I understand.

Are There Any Painless Suicide Methods?

The simple answer is no. I understand that your instinct now is to click off this page and keep looking, but STOP. Wait. Just stay a few minutes. The problem with suicide methods is that 97% of the time, they fail. And that is just the completely committed “I want to die right now this second” group. Suicide is painful and messy and horrifying – and I completely understand if you are sitting here thinking “yes, well so is my life” – I have been there.

One of the most common things our members say when they first join SF is ‘I am too much of a coward to go through with it”. Not killing yourself isn’t cowardly. Not killing yourself isn’t weak or spineless. It is okay to scream for help at the top of your lungs right now – you deserve help and nobody can do this alone.

Cowardly Suicide

We have thousands and thousands of members and each and every one of them knows what it feels like to want to fall asleep and never wake up. To stop the pain – for it to be easy and peaceful and painless. Suicide isn’t any of those things. It is painful and lonely and scary and 97% of the time it fails. For people under 40, that number goes up to 99.5% of the time. The thoughts and feelings you are dealing with are not shameful or weak or wrong – but really wanting to die and really wanting to make the pain stop are not the same thing. 

What About Pain Free Death?

It is easy to believe – especially right now – that it wouldn’t matter if you died. Nobody would care. I don’t know you and I don’t know what is going on in your life (I would like to) but I have been suicidal and believed those things, and I have talked to hundreds and hundreds of people who also believe those things. Pain lies. Depression lies. Most of all, despair lies. The idea that your death would not matter and it wouldn’t hurt anyone – that your suicide would be pain free for all concerned – it isn’t true. Maybe you want to believe it is true because you don’t want to hurt any of the people you love. Maybe you hurt so badly you can’t see past the pain to the truth. But you are wrong. There are no ‘pain free’ ways to die. There are especially no pain free ways to kill yourself. Not just the physical messy agony of suicide itself, which is never like it is in the movies or on tumblr, but also the emotional pain you are passing to the people who are about you and even the people who ‘only’ know you.

The pain can go away. I know you don’t believe me; I didn’t believe it either. I was sure – 100% definite – that life would never get better, that the pain would never go away, that I would never feel okay again, let alone happy. I felt alone and isolated and like there was nobody to talk to who could possibly understand. I was wrong. About all of it. There are people who understand and who will support you and while right now you don’t think support can help and you don’t see how talking can make a difference, there is something about NOT feeling alone and isolated that eases the pain just enough to be able to breathe for a minute. To be able to think. To give yourself a chance.

Join Suicide Forum

You Need to Talk to Someone

There is no replacement for professional medical treatment. If you are suicidal you need real medical help – but you also need to talk to people you can be honest with, people you can say out loud “I hurt so much I want to die” to. It is hard, almost impossible, to say those things to people who know and care about you in real life. They get scared and hurt and suddenly you are not only dealing with your own pain, you are dealing with theirs as well. For people who already have more pain than they can bear, that is not an option.

Talking doesn’t magically make the pain go away. I am not going to sit here and lie to you that it might. I understand that it is hard to see the point – the POINT is that you want to make the pain stop and if talking won’t do that then it can feel like a waste of the precious little energy you have left. What talking does – in a peer to peer setting – is make you feel less alone. Knowing that people understand and care, that even strangers who are in pain themselves care about you enough to listen and support you, can make you feel less isolated, remind you that you do not have to deal with this alone. 

Talk to us. Write down how you feel. Engage with people who understand – as much as anyone can understand – how you feel. The pain won’t go away overnight but it CAN go away and you deserve to have support while you deal with it. So instead of clicking off here and going back to Google in search of ways to die, stick around here. Join our community and find ways to make the pain go away that don’t involve killing yourself – ways to make the pain go away that give you your life back. 











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  • Cheers. I’ve been really low for about 18 months now. Tried to kill myself numerous times. It’s nice just to read your words. Thanks.

    • Hi Jack.
      I’ve wanted to connect with someone who feels like I do, for quite some time now. No one else understands and I feel very alone in my miserable existence, and I’m sick of wearing a fake smile. It was yesterday that I looked up how to yourself to ensure death and this site popped up. Then I found your post. I hope you find this and write back. To exchange thoughts, daily life experiences, and to feel less alone, would be nice.

      • hey there Cindy and jack,
        I echo Cindy’s feelings 100%, it’s cathartic just knowing there are others feeling the same< Im in my early 30's for context.

          • I am a mother, it is so hard, my sons fight, my youngest is cruel to the dog and I have suffered from depression since I can remember I just don’t want to wake up every day.

          • Hi guys I did like reading that cause it gave me a small lift but I’m back to square one and the best way for me to do it is to starve myself and over time I will achieve it sorry for been so negative

          • Hi cindy i feel the exact same ,how can i make it stop .wearing that face smile and laugh and fake me has made me into somebody i do not know .

          • So, I guess I never knew there was a place to talk safely with others about this…..if anyone is willing to talk, please respond.

          • Matt ,
            In my early 30’s
            As well and feeling down and what feels like im watching everyone be happier without me interacting because im in a serious low point with my mental health . But just reading this and all of the comments . I feel like at least even a stranger is willing to hear my screams for help and support .

          • I’m a bad mother . Because I list my temper with my din . I hate myself everyday now my ex is taking my son away and his no better he cause is a drug c $@#

          • I don’t wanna do this anymore… Been nothing but a burden since birth.. My son is the only thing that keeps me grounded.. I need help..

          • All those words sound really really good and helpful. I still want to do this anymore yeah I feel isolated I feel alone and I just want to feel this way anymore.

          • Ur words are lovely. But i literally cant see any other way out ive been riddled with anxiery for 12 years im only 26, im starting to fantasise about death i seriously have no fight left in me. I appreciate that other ppl feel how i feel but ive lost the will to get better. Its the pits xxx

          • Ive been thinking bout suicide for years for my own reasons nd your words made me think a lot about what I really wanna do with my life but ill still have the thoughts of suicide every once and a while

          • Hi i looked up how to end my life and i read this i feel so alone like if im yelling at the top of my lungs and no one seems to care

          • Hi I’m John I’ve wanted to die for almost a year now but haven’t the nerve to do it but I’m scared and lonely I’ve not long split up with my partner she was my rock now nothing can stop the fall of depression

          • Is there anyone wanting to die because life is too long? I can’t imagine myself getting through 50 more holiday seasons or summers:-( I’m sick of everything and of myself. I hate being alive

          • You know I got on this website thinking it was something completely different… My grandmother recently passed away and I have been hit with the reality of the situation because I am also being forced into sobriety quite accidentally at the same thing time. I have a five year old boy. I can’t give up, but damn, I can’t bare to go on most days. When my insurance changed and I was ripped off my suboxobone it was painful. I tappered. But then I went to the dentist. He decided I really needed teeth out. 100 norcos later and I had blown two years of sobriety. Well supervised sobriety. Now I’M in so much physical and emotional pain, no one is there and I don’t know where to turn. Please if someone has any hope that it will get better. Give me a sign.

          • I feel so alone
            The only thing keeping me here is tha
            t I dont want to hurt my mum or my sister.
            Im simply existing to avoid hurting others which is a miserable way to exist

          • Hi all of you, it feels good to see people that feel the same way and the fact that you guys are so supportive to each other really gives me hope. I heard the thing about pain is that it gets easier when it’s shared with people. I would love if any of the people that share the same thoughts like me actually It feels good when I talk to others about it and it really helps me. Have a great day whoever reads this.

          • I want to kill myself. No one cares about me. I’m tired of hurying. of being so empty and so tired. I have no one.

          • Am 38 single mum to a 5 years old

            Today I literally felt like this was it for me I needed to end it all!

          • I want to die.bcz i lost my achie ement.havent got job.married a buddy. I wasted my life.i want to to be isolated.i hate life.

          • I have tried everything. Been to docs.been on meds. Nothing helps. Will die alone. Sooner the better. Hope you all find your path. Peace be with u all!

          • Hi everyone.. Just read what all of u wrote and i can totally relate to it.. I dont want to die but cant take it anymore.

          • I totally understand what you guys feel. I have been a victim of this terrible disease for many years. Let’s keep our hopes and strength that this horrible feeling won’t last forever.

          • I don’t know what to do or where to go. I have the feel ing that I should end my life. My sister said she has Lost respect for me. My cousin talks a good conversation but when I call he always says his busy plus I got called a dog. I can’t get a job and all I have studied is irrelevant now. I have the feeling my girlfriend has moved on along with my daughter and other child soon to be born. Her family hates me along with her friend. I have no friends and who are thought were either blank me or busy and that’s busy for me. I lost any social skills I thought I had. So why am I alive?.. I have all the reasons not to be. But I am scared to do it . the pain and loneliness is strong I just feel worthless nobody needs me or wants me. I am just too soft for society. And I hate it. I hope to be struck with an illness but I know it won’t happen. I just can’t cope I need some one to talk

          • I’m sorry I’m not as strong as u lot I can’t do it no more I need my way out… my heart is to broken to ever get better gd night

          • Hi I am Jo, i am in a deep dark black hole . I just want to end it. But i am a full
            Carer for my mom she has alzhiemer”s i am bound to the blackness i cant leave her. The pain gets worse &

          • I have lost so much in my life I just don’t want to live anymore…I feel alone in like can’t do it anymore… I told the last person that broke my heart he don’t understand + I told him exactly what I was looking for in a relationship and he knew what last guy did I asked him please don’t do the same he did and life is pain…

          • I’m tired of the pain in my life an wanna die don’t know one know how I feel they only say I hate myself,my life

          • What about when you’ve lived with it for 35 years it’s a chemical imbalance and can’t/ counselling doesn’t help? Where next?? Roz

          • Hi umm Cindy. I uhh am going through what seems to be hell and i was searching for a way to die bc i don’t feel a need for continuance. I’m in so much emotional pain not the first time but i wanted it to be the last i have no hope left. I’ve hit bottom. I don’t usually seek help but your words spoke to me. I still wanna die but I know only time heals right? Time will kill me more emotional when I’m fully dead emotionally what’s left? I don’t like to admit it but I need help…

          • Hi I’m a person with lots of thing going on for me I’m tired of being able to be there for everyone and no one threr for me .my kids think that I’m bad ass mom just because I want them to have want I did not .I work all day and come home and mess I clenched make dinner and more .it like they don’t care

          • I’ve done the talking, I’ve done the thinking and I’ve done the praying. Nothing takes the sadness away. I’m only living for eveyone else.
            Tired Dave

          • Hi all, anyhow, still i felt that i really want kill myself because i dont feel that any one beside me. Thanks

          • Hi all, i really want to live, and have to achieve something. Whoever try to kill their self, they are the looser, but i dont like to be like that. Am brave. Sure will fight for my life

          • Hi jack.matt.cindy its nice to know thats theres poeple out there to listen i was sectioned 3 years ago and came out of it but now im back in that black hole very much alone

          • It was helpful to read these words and thankyou .. however I have severely struggled for years with feelingredients suicidal and life mostly feels like hell. I am well aware I need help but there is virtually no professional help I can access in my area which is free of charge or affordable. What can people like me do when the professional help simply isn’t available? I have no idea what to do or try and access in order to feel better. I am in the North West UK if anyone does have any suggestions. Don’t think I can take feeling like this much longer. x

          • I know if I did. And it there would be some pain but I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to go on anymore. I just want every th ing to stop, I can’t do this anymore I’m stuck, and I cant get out out this. I can’t runaway from this I just can’t anymore. I’m too afraid to do this but I do badly want to. There is no way out, I wish I just lose my mind so I wouldn’t have to think anymore.

          • Help!! I’m in my early 40’s. I lost my Dad 3 years ago falling into a deep depression. My marriage was never really a strong one but I loved my husband – 5 months after my Dad passed he left our marital home and filed for divorce. It’s been non stop suicide attempts and hospital stays since. I’m scared.

          • I have just stumbled on this as like many are looking for a way out. I have not been happy at all for a very long time now and it’s getting worse. The only thing that stops me is my dad….it would make him Il. Sad but true. I just wonder what I’m capable of once he’s no longer here.

          • Hi everyone I don’t know what to do I wanna die so bad my whole family hates me cuz my brother tried to kill me n i pressed charges. Well I bend over backwards for my mom n hel her w everything but I hear daily I don’t love u I aint your mom I want u out of my life I’m actually looking for ways to kill myself

          • I feel the same way right at this moment. Just want the pain to stop. I too was also Looking at ways to kill myself. I can’t take the hurt anymore I just can’t I’m here with a bottle of sleeping pills and a can of beer.i have to do this. It’s been a few days now since I’ve been thinking about this. Nothing seems to help. Help me.. please!! Help!!!!!!

          • Hi Cindy matt and jack i am 16 and tired of my life people have friends with whom they can talk to but when they just leave you in the middle abussing you i dont know wat to do i simply hate my life and did suicidal attacks and then saw this site i hope someone understands me

          • Hey. Thank you for the article. I’m 18 and everydau I wake up I just feel there’s no hope for me. And it’s worse when my family doesn’t even realise that I’m suffering from depression, having to deal with my own pain and not having anyone to talk to just makes me feel even more helpless. I don’t know how I can be helped now because each day I get closer and closer to committing suicide.

          • Like Cindy I agree about carrying a fake smile and having to fake being happy around friends and family. I’m 47 and carry my past with me on a daily basis which has prevented me in having a true connection with my own family, anyway heads up!!

          • Hi everyone, I feel very low and have wanted to kill myself for a long time. The last attempt failed, of course it did- Im typing this- would anyone like to chat to me about how it feels? I would love just one person who would understand. Bonnie x

          • Has anyone been in such depressing state that when your done screaming you start laugh? I dont know why i do it i look at myself in tge and laugh at the pain it show luagh at tge idea that the after life could be better and i even enjoy tge idea that hell is a good place because atleast its only physical pain

          • I just dnt understand as to gow to reduce my pain.i really lobe rukshan cz n i cnt live without him.i cnt kill myself cz of my i wnt to die

          • I feel like it would be easier to just let go drift off to sleep and pass away i hate this feeling and dont know how long i can ignore it

          • Hey jack, I was searching on Google to find out how to kill myself ! Ehat if you dont have support ! And no way to get any !!!

          • What if talking doesn’t help? What if your tired from talking and sports and you don’t like any of your hobbies anymore cos doing it just doesn’t feel like it used to cos nothing is much fun anymore..? What if everything you’ve ever tried to accomplish always fails and every time your failure is bigger and brings you down dipper? What if having friends and family all around you, trying to help, makes you feel nothing? In the past it was a relief, but after all these years I don’t really feel love anymore, just sadness. People around became something that was always there, but things just keep getting worse and they can’t really help… Same old dark and forsaken place inside me growing and growing since I could remember.. No money for therapy.. My mother wont help me with it because she is saving it for “more important things in the future”, even after I begged for months and told her I don’t want to live.. Father is gone.. Cancer took him two years ago… Every time I think I’m getting better life proofs me wrong… I don’t feel pain. Only sadness and lack of motivation to be on this planet.

          • I just simply want to die. I’ve talked to numerous therapists. Nothing had helped with any of my sadness. What if death is the only choice out?

          • I’ve been thru a lot this past coupla years. I find myself being a weak, needy fragile, spineless mouse. I use to be so strong and independent and jovial. now I don’t recognise myself anymore. I feel drained every day…physically and emotionally. I just want this emptiness to go away. I know wot I need to do but then I think of my kids and wot I’ll do to them. catch 22. I wish I could find myself again.

          • Hello. I just feel really down and for some reason I can’t write a new comment here. Just wish it was easy to talk to some one about stuff.

          • Hi, I started to have the feeling of ending my life recently because I have caused so many people disappointment because of my gambling habits ..I just couldn’t control it.. tried quitting but the little voice in my head keep telling me to give it a try eventhough i have a pile of bad debts

          • What if you feel like no one understands you.. Amd they only think that you are the just doing alk this to draw their attention towards yourself…and even your lobed says you to commit sucide?

          • I really needed this tonight, the tears are still rolling down my face my body still feels drained but this has given me the strenghth to get through tonight. Im going to climb the wall i climb everday again tomorrow just to do it again the following day with the knowledge that im not the only one that feels like this world would be better off with out me! Heres to all of us getting through this dark & lonley life and hopefully one day seeing some light at the end of the tunnel! Night world! X

          • How can I get a life back I never had… it’s all lies. 38 years of verbal,physical,mental and sexual abuse. Homeless ,health issues no matter how much weight I lose I’m still a fat a $$. My son hates me and no one has ever loved me just used me. This “getting your life back”nonsemse may work for some…but not ppl like me. I have no life never have and never will. I just exist like a fly on sh!7… Never cared,wanted or needed. What I would give to shut my eyes and never open them again

          • Hi Matt I am 54 years old teacher married but I’m lonely and I feel that would be better for everyone involved if I end it

          • I just feel like I have been given so many opportunities from my parents and I just keep fucking it up. I feel like a failure, a disappointment. I went to college to play football I decided after a year to join Air Force rotc. Now I don’t want to do that and I feel like my life will go no where. I feel like a coward for not killing my self . I want to I just am too afraid. I need to just do it. Writing the note may be the first step. It just bring some me to tears the people I might hurt but the people I’ll disappoint while alive will be more than those I hurt when I’m dead. At least when I’m dead they will remember the good parts of me. That’s what people do when they lose somthing is remember the good.

          • Hi I’m Lesley I’m 46 and I was trying to get over a full on mental breakdown and tonight my mum had thrown me out of her house and basically laughed at my birthday present to her! I found this site cos I’m just so tired of people kicking me when I’m down. I have only been out of hospital for 3 weeks. My partner loves me but my mum has hurt me all my life

          • I’ve felt like dyin for some time now I’ve been thru so much heartache in my life I don’t know where to start I feel like everything is my fault I feel like it’s really something wrong with me Noone around me understand how much pain I’ve been feeling for a Lil over 3 years

          • I have a child so I can’t speak to anyone. I can’t end my life because I have no where safe to put her. I need out of the home I’m in now but I can’t get any help. I’m stuck

          • I need someone to open myself please help me please otherwise tell me a painlesss way to die please I beg you

          • At times all such opinions are good to read and follow. But many times death is the real gift that one can present to is not bed of roses but there should not be only prickles either. The pain of loneliness in a group of people is the worst……..

          • I would like to stay anonymous but it’s good to know that there are other people experiencing the same problem as I am

          • I am in my my early 40’s and can’t cope with my feelings. The video did seem to reach out to me. Hope you all are OK. Guy

          • I just want to win back the first and only woman I’ve ever loved but she won’t talk to me she blocked me on fb …she saidwe could be friends but she needs some time. I feel like dieing because it feels like i have been completely cut off from her life. I just wanna know she’s ok…but i just want to die because of how bad ive hurt her.

          • I am well in my studies .. so definitely I will never get abetter I need some ideas to live my life better ..otherwis I will die

          • I really need help… I tried when I was 9. I am now almost 33.. I have been taking multiple medications since I was 17.. I did 6 months in jail for my 2nd dui and possession for the purpose.. I quit drinking went and did my time but had to move back home with my parents.. My anxiety and depression is crippling me so I started drinking again and can’t get these horrible thoughts out of my head..

          • I am researching right now. I don’t wanna do this anymore. My older brother did and i get why he did it and how he felt.

          • There’s several ppl that feel the same as everyone else that wants to die and I use to think ppl where dumb that wanted to kill them selfs but when I turned 28 that changed I’m 33 now and if I set down and told my life story ppl might wonder why it took my til I was 28 to change my mind and to believe that maybe suicide was OK and maybe it’s selfish of all who say don’t do it thank about those who love u and stuff like that idk anymore like I said if I took the time to tell my life story it could be a best selling book or movie of the decade I wanna die so bad but I won’t do it not cause I’m a coward or cause those that care but because if I die then the DEVIL WINS so to all that wanna die then do it right otherwise remember things r bad and could be worse but death isn’t the answer and someone cares for u maybe u haven’t met them yet so don’t kill urself before u atleast talk to people about it u know or take a journey or adventure and meet ppl along the way strangers and see if by time ur second chance is done if u still wanna die and don’t half ass try this put 300 percent into this and find ur purpose and place in life keep ur head s held hi and take each day one step and day at a time and I hope all that read this find happiness and LIFE thanks for ur time and thanks for reading and remember we all r important to someone even if we haven’t met them yet stay real and stay strong

          • Hey, I’m also feeling at my wits end. I tried killing myself before but it didn’t work 🙄 But now I’m just tired and I know there’s people with bigger problems but I don’t believe I have it in me to continue

          • Anyone know how to deal with freinds who aways talk about stuff that sounds like jibberish to you but enflish to them?Please help me I can’t bare it much longer. I have tried suicide loads of times but they all failed

          • Hey.. my life feels bad all the time I never know what to do I don’t like talking about my feelings and I have felt suicidal I felt like no one understood me and I always felt alone I’m only 13 and I want my life to end thank yo u so much for the help x

          • I don’t even know what to say- lots going on right now and I’m usually on top of my emotions but I’m in a pretty dark place right now- constant thoughts no one to turn to and I can’t see past the trees so to speak. I came across this site while looking at stuff I should not have been looking at. I appreciate other people sharing their experiences

          • I keep digging a hole deeper and deeper, and when I thought I was the only one with the shovel, I looked around and saw people with their shovels throwing my dirt back into my hole.
            As soon as I put the shovel down and let others throw the dirt back in, I noticed the hole i was in disappeared and I was standing atop a little mound.

            This site saved my life tonight.

          • Guys I need help, I have no friends and my girlfriend has cheated on me numerous times and I feel like no one cares about me I can’t deal with it anymore

          • I don’t know how much more of this pain I can take I tried to be positive for so long but I failed

          • My name is Phil Miranda I have been feeling like a worthless scumbag for a long time now I have no family left everybody has died and I lost my father’s house bc ppl stole from me and I was working but could not pay for it. I now live in a weekly apt my wife thinks I am a joke and don’t want to be with me I have lost everything and I have no money no food no clean clothes no friends but the only thing that takes me away from my miserable life is meth. I have no food so the meth takes my hunger away and I want to die everyday I wake up I need someone who will help me bc I am alone and lost

          • My name is Michael I am 22 and have been suffering from social phobia and manic depression since I was 15. I started to self medicate since I was 16 in with alcohol and weweed and then going on to amphetamine and benzodiazepams. Through drugs councelling I have finally manage to stop taking drug, but since I manage that the problem I was masking have come back to haunt me and make me feel really low. My mind is clouded by thoughts of relapsing and suicide all the time I feel trapped and don’t know what to do I attend councilling and take prozac but nothing seems to help -.- sorry for being so negative.

          • Even though there are others out there that experience the same feelings I still find it hard to want to continue living. The pain just won’t go away. I feel as though I disappoint everyone I love. I can’t do it anymore

          • My name is Katie. I’m about to turn 16. I’ve felt very low for years now. I’ve ebbed tried to kill myself but it’s a struggle not to think about all the time. It’s such a draining sickness that I wish would just go away.

          • Hi I have been feeling really bad the last few days I didn’t think I was meant to carry on for everyone’s sake but then I came across this site and I thought maybe I was meant to see it I don’t know. It does give you some comfert hearing that other people have the intense feelings of self hate and get past them xxx

          • I still want to die , I have had enough of feeling alone , of feeling ugly and an outsider of doing good for others and then treating me like dirt .

          • Hi my names jackson.and i vemet been feeling the same way for like10 months now sad all the time and just wanna die

          • I feel you guys, Im 22 yrs old. Asian. I really want to end my life. I’m so tired, tired for everything. I feel that I’m the most unfortunate person in this world. I want to end this pain.

          • Nice to relate to you all ⬆⬆This post was a nice read and uplifted my spirit just a little. I wish I could follow through with my thoughts. Wish u all the best though. God bless.

          • I’m just 22 but I feel like I have the burdens of a 40year old. I’m miserable, sad and depressed nine times out of ten. I feel alienated and have started to loathe the things I once loved. I’ve been this way since 2011. It got to its peak in 2013, where I tried to kill myself but my mum walked in on me. I began to heal slowly with the help of someone I eventually fell in love with. My happiness began to revolve around him and even though I knew it wasn’t healthy, I let it go on. He finally distanced himself away from me and I spiraled back into depression express in 2015. Since then it’s been a rocky road, alternating between fake smiles and real tears. It’s 2017 and my soul isn’t at peace with my body. And at this rate I don’t know if it’ll ever be…

          • Hi Jack…i’m a young woman from African late 20’s, living with HIV. I.have been for 7years. Sometimes I can bear it. I have a career, I drive a nice car and I have a family that lives me. But I want to die. I can’t deal with my diagnosis. Although it’s been 7years, it feels like I was diagnosed just yesterday. I am tired.

          • I’m very young but still have suicidal thoughts my friend just yesterday who has depression attempted suicide. She was in our bathroom for a while and when she came out she had a scar on her hand. She looked miserable… it made me very upset… I am starting to have suicidal thoughts but I’m too scared to hurt anyone… I have a 2 year old nephew who would never forgive me if I was gone… idk what to do anymore! I can’t trust anyone the best thing for me is to talk to a stranger that knows how I feel. I’m just confused, scared, frustrated, and. Very very frightened of anything that might happen to me

          • You made me feel a little better for a short while so thankyou, been trying on and off for 9 years and ive just turned 21 this year.. i just cant hold on

          • As a white make I feel anything butt privileged. I work hard and can’t seem to get anywhere. I get degrees and certifications and can’t land a good job. I had a great one a few years back. My family has grown since and I feel like a failure. Everything seems to cone so easily four others. I watch others whom I consistently outWork and see them have great things happen. I feel terrible about myself and have no confidence. I am sick and broken.

          • I m tired of my life….nobody understands me my brother is like hell to me…he is not treating me well…he shouted at me he creates violence i need help…i need support…my parents was’nt supporting me…what should i do…i need to die…beacuse i m so alone and i can not handle this…it hurts

          • I am glad this exists. I just don’t want to start over again fear I am going be alone.

          • I dont understand my thoughts i dont really know what to do i have no friends stuck in the past and to scared to make a future idont know who to talk to and i cant seek help because i couldnt take the disapointment from my family

          • Im hurting really bad and I have cut my wristst up and arm I want to die and sleep and then know there isnt a painless way but I wanted to find the last painfully way I still want my problems to go away and I know that I cant just make them and I am alone slot and I need to be taken away from all the pain and suffering I have gone through and I really feel like no one understands and people give up in me slot abandon me and use me I feel like I am only alive to be used by others

          • Hi Cindy jack and Matt – I’ve had dark thoughts and this site popped up. Deep down I know it’s not the answer but it’s such a dark place..

          • I want to live but I want to die because I dont want to live in this world in my life.
            Theirs no point to living my life.

          • 2016! Ohh Suzanne I with 23yrs old DAUGHTER she has BPD. Me well last 3yrs found out have cptsd
            Severe depression ok insomnia severe anxiety hypervigilante I forget alot
            .scared all time.alone.lonely..cant sleep just wana sleep or b in a coma..just for a while..please just just for a wee while…horrific nitemares.if I do sleep 2-3 hrs every 3 friends.mived bk home 2 yrs ago..doesnt mtr.worse ppl out their than me.sori

          • Hi I am 26 year old female who has spent the last year suicidal. This morning I woke up and still felt that way. I let myself think like this for too long I’m scared I won’t be able to think other ways.

          • Matt, Cindy, Jack, I too feel alone and I am so tired of plastering this fake smile on my face day after day. If any of you would like to talk, I know I certainly would. Emily

          • I feel the same way. I’m a widow with four kids and they don’t want me and I do not blame them. they deserve better…. they deserve a happy mom like I used to be. I can barely function anymore. I’m just miserable and nothing brings hope or happiness
            I mean, I’m proud of the great things they are achieving but the one who has no ambition idk what will happen to him and my existence is no help. i have no family to help me and they’ll have no one when i’m gone so i feel like i HAVE to stay alive but i hate it. i HATE being alive. i wish more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD that i could just go to sleep forever. i’m too scared to just DO IT. i want to end it but i don’t know how i keep googling painless ways, easiest ways, it is hard to actually do it with a razor in the tub even after i take some xanax. it’s painful and scary……i wish i had the courage

          • Hi i have been feeling very low for the last 8 months i am crying my heart out as i type this as i dont want to go on anymore .i wish i was a cold person inside so i wouldnt be hurting the way i am

          • I still don’t get this I’m 15 and my parents don’t care about me when I say I’m dealing with depression. I tried to kill myself numerous times since I was 14 I have scars from cutting myself and my mum says I look ugly

          • Thank you so much I was balling my eyes out trying to choke myself numerous times especially in the last couple of years when I was in school and people were bowling me. Thank you so much for this talk you’ve really helped me I was currently looking at site so that I could kill myself in the most painless way but you really helped me thank you.

          • Thank you all for being vulnerable. I have a small amount of hope, not much but I will gladly share it. I suffer with you. Josh

          • I’m at a breaking pt. I’ve dealt with tmj 21 yrs. It causes so much and I feel worthless depressed among lots of things not even my grandson can pull me out n he’s 2
            I just want to quit.. tired of living on ssi disability can’t afford to eat so just at a fuck it pt

          • Hi, im 14 i know I’m still young but i’ve been trying to end my life a couple of times because i was really pressured and depressed, any advice to stop me from doing it?

          • What to do if u are scared of someone??? And cant live the way u r now… Want to just live… Free what to do… Killing myself is better option i think

          • or perhaps call the police/ family services, or any of hundreds of charities to help people in abusive situations and simply change where you are and not be around the person scaring you anymore… If you need help post on the site and people will tell you what agencies or places are near you to contact.

          • Its simply hard..everyday i always thinking about my problem and its getting i drink different kinds of medicine drank expire cough syrup just to make me fall asleep and never wake up..but i just throw it all up..its easy to say it will get better but for me it seems its getting so tired and i give up ijust want to die..why can i just die

          • I have wanted to die just stop living I want to be better but it’s hard I have a mentality abusive household and it’s not good for me I’ve tried to get help and every time I felt better about myself it was brought down by my family

          • I am deeply depressed and the last thing I need is to live.Am 42yrs and all I have known my entire life is pain.all I newd now is permanent rest.

          • Hey my wife and kids just left me we have been in a long distance relationship for years now and she wants a divorce so I’m pretty low right now I have people that care but I still want to go off this world all I was ever good at or proud of was that now I have nothing left what do I do when i can’t go on?

          • I am 17 years old and i am completely tired of life. My life has been nothing but hurt and i dont understand why…im a good person i have a big heart. My put myself last.But yet im always the one who gets let down or hurt. I been holding in alot for years now and its just was building up. Now im over it.

          • I am in such a dark place that I have been in all my life. I am 49 and have lost everything. All the people I have helped don’t even care. They have turned their backs on me. My family doesn’t seem to have a shred of love for me. I don’t exist anymore. I can’t take it. I am lost and homeless. I cry more often than not. Their is nothing left but more pain. I seem to be a burden even though I have helped so many. My world is so dark . Shadows will never exist. I am at my end. Nothing else left I can do.

          • Hi i feel very miserable..therez no one who undrstnds me..i m married for three yrs nw bt i feel frgt bout neoneelse my husbnd isnt supportive at all..though it was a love marraige i never thot dat a day lik this wud cum dis soon..its disheartening..n i feel in so much ech day dat nw i just dnt wana live..wat do i do..i hv no one tobtalk to i feel rly alone i dnt wana live

          • Hi have been low for years now. Bad luck are part of life now. What to do? Ur post is rejuvenating but still..

          • Im 38 have to sell my house,my daughter hates me,my girlfreind hardly talks to me i sleep all the time i wish you all well but for me its time

          • Hi feel weird writing on hear I’m a very isolated person I want to mess re than anything tried a few times was just about to try with wrist but I just wanted to see if it was painful n apparently it’s quiet painful so now I just feel crappy 🙁

          • I wish I was dead right now. I’ve started self Harling. My husband just ignores me talks to my kids who are 17, 18 and 10. I know I’m invisible to every now he is tellung my kida i do nothong thar one.That he pays me all this miney as he pays me nothing. I all I want is someone to love me, I had a bad child hood with my dad. I feel like I’m a nothing.

          • Hi I still feel like I deserve to die I’m no help I just make things harder for people and my life is horrible the only thing good is my son and gf but I think I’m a disappointment to them to I hate life.

          • I have nothing left and no one and im just really tired. I dont know whatto do and my head hurts so freaking bad . I need help but been hospitalized 6 times and nothing they send me home with new meds I just want to know whats wrong with me

          • All my life I felt like this I’m so tired of this I try killing myself so many times but nvr work I jst can’t take this no more …

          • Hey, I’m Marie and I guess like most people in this forum I’m considering ending my life, I see no point anymore. From my stress I deal with from school and having to deal with family problems at home I just feel that no one cares so why should I, you know. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

          • I’m in the suicide boat.
            I feel bad for my family when
            The best opportunity presents itself
            I may take it

          • I thank each of you for sharing. Being alone is uchnisolation especially when I had a love that was true and magical and watching it fall apart due to my jealously. Thanks for sharing and I may be easier dead but
            The road is no turning back.

          • Hi I have felt like this for quite some time now and I’m sick of it I push people who care about me away and I want to kill myself because I always feel alone and The people in my school probs don’t like me anyway so what’s the point and my parents just shout at me all the time saying I’m a failure and I just give up

          • i have no skills for a real job i only have skills for music but thats not a realistic job id never get lucky enough

          • I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. Each passing day is getting unbearable. No one but God is on my side but I feel alone still.. I know it’ll be wrong to do it but I am only wishing it would be done and over with. I don’t want to wake up.. I just want to sleep and die in my sleep

          • Hi i feel The same like im not wanted in this world and my husband never Backs me up in conversations or arguments and I’m just over it and I have a one year old which I have to think about his the most precious thing ever but I don’t know what to do thanks diana

          • Yeah. I’m married for almost13years and have
            3 kids. My youngest is almost 12. But my 14 year old boy deals with it way too much. My husband has saved me a few times. Thank God I kept reading. This website.
            I t may have saved my life tonight.

          • I found my self here when I searched painless methods of suicide to see if my sister suffered when she took her life 2 weeks ago. Please get help. Life gets better. Talk to someone please. My family is falling apart and I think this will kill my mother. My sister was so very loved. She believed she was unloved. She couldn’t believe we all loved her. Now she is gone. You are looking vex.

          • Its a nice article. I have been under depression for last ten months now. And at this point in time, i feel like there is no purpose left in my life. At 30, i want to die. Lets see how does this forum help me.

          • Hello I’m in high school and I’m finding it hard to live with myself. It’s like everytime I’m around people I somehow ruin their day and I don’t want to do that to anyone anymore.

          • I am a girl my age 20 I have done love marriage my parents love me a lot but I have left them for the guy who doesn’t care for me I tried to kill my self but I can’t plzz help me I am suffering a lot but I can’t say publicly plzz help me what should I do plzz I can see only one way and it is to kill myself and finish the story of my life because I can’t share my problem with my parents as they will be hurted by it plz help me plzz

          • Hi I lost my son 2 weeks ago to suicide and I feel like I should have known something and I feel it’s my fault so now I’m very suicidal but I have 5 other children so I battle my conscience every day

          • what do u do when you’ve already cried out and gotten help numerous times but it’s hasn’t worked…

          • I don’t un life I’m getting worst every day my anger take over and ending up hurting people I don’t and I just can’t no more I’m mistake a bomb waiting to explode I don’t want to hurt my family daughters im have to be stopped

          • Hey I’m parents always tell me how useless I am and I’m not pretty I just wanna give up and go away.iv tried running away and iv tried cutting I don’t know what to do anymore please help

          • If they have physically abused you report it- guidance counselor, teacher, police, etc. If you believe they have neglected or emotionally abused you report it. If life just sucks I will tell you the years of high school sucked for me as well, and many others. But the day I graduated I moved out. Make plans and when finish high school/ turn 18 be done and live your own life for yourself. Give yourself that chance. Cutting yourself did not improve the situation, neither will acting out or making bad decisions.Make good decisions and plan for your own life. Treat yourself better than others have treated you by not hurting yourself and making sure you have a chance for something better.

          • Hey everyone i havent been feeling 100% for the last few years how do i handle it all? It all seems like my family and friends everyone arounds me seems like they hate me. I feel like the pain isnt going to go away i feel like i dont deserve the life that i have i just need someone to support me through all these hard times i always think about ending my life but i really knoe inside i dont want to but it seems like the only option 3/4 of the time 😔

          • Not helpful at all. Just want to die. I don’t think I can cope anymore. Maybe it is high time death won

          • ~Hi, i cn relate to all of you so tired of fighting all the struggles, dont want to wake up.what or how do we survive
            each day. Hard world to live in. Where is help when
            You can’t afford to live. Any advice.

          • I really want to give up.. Not even once my mom asked me how can I fix your problem… No one wants to listen

          • Ive hated life for a long time I’m pretty sure my fiancé has been fucking my friends for years we have dogs and a house and don’t know what to do with my life I wish I could just me gone dead and alone

          • Hi.. I feel very low. My marriage sucks. I feel like a kid trying to seek his attention all the time while he treats me like a piece of shit.

          • Didn’t make me feel any better but awesome it has for some peopl. I am sick of trying to make friends with peopke &constantly being rejected. 36 years old & no friends. Dad’s the reason i haven’t killed myself,he’s the only one i can sort of talk to. When he’s gone I’m outta here! Everyone fucking hates me no matter what i do.

          • I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s very easy to say that everything will be fine but it does not.. I just want to be happy, they say to get over it.. But I am trying my best. I feel like I am a burden to everyone. I feel so empty.

          • Nothing goes well for me. I feel like committing suicide is the only way to stop this. I feel useless. Pls help me.

          • Nobody here will help you commit suicide but many many people will try to help you stop feeling so bad and talk to you about how they made themselves start to feel better. Join the forum and stop into chat to see what members have to say without waiting days and for a comment reply…

          • Don’t know what to say….just found this.
            I feel numb all the time it’s driving me mad….people who you think would be supportive are not

          • Hi. I’m s seed and in a bad place. I don’t think I can go on smiling and trying to be there for others. I feel all alone. I help people every day, but don’t have anyone. The love of my life left me and at times I think we might get back together and then nothing. I can’t take the highs and lows. It’s too much!!

          • It doesn’t matter anymore to me I’m 53 I lost my wife my father and father in law all within 2/3 months apart slightly over a year ago now I’m facing be homeless from no fault of own so what’s the purpose of trying to live it’s futile

          • I’m really scared to kill my self but i have no choice i have no where to go my parents hate me they’re seeing that i need help but they keep hurting me and saying its your fault i have no body no body to support me and undrestand me nobody that i can talk to them i dont know what to do… if theres any help please help me

          • I just wanna open myself here, i’ve been dealing with depression since i was 4, and now i’m 21, i just can’t stand being alive anymore, my life is totally pointless. Until today i’ve never been able to share what i feel to anyone, i really don’t know what to do, i can’t find a way out of this feeling, i feel like the only way for me to get rid of this is by suicide, but i don’t have the strength to go throw it. I just wanted to never be awake anymore.

          • I just want to stop hurting so much inside and be able to see the sun again. All I see is an abyss of black and I want it to go away

          • Wow didn’t think others would feel Exactly like me. Your words mean a lot guys

          • I’m Lindi I feel so alone and helpless . I feel like my mom and dad never loved me. They treat me awfully and on the other hand I so want to give up in life . I’m in deep pain. But guys thanks for helping people like me. 😢

          • Hi my name is steve l live with a girl that put me through a lot coz she is a heavy drinker l a am just tyerd of the treatment l get l need to go l am no good for anybody

          • So go – go away from her if that is the issue. Why look for the wrong answer when the easy and right answer is right in front of you? Just get away from the toxic relationship?

          • I have been in my current state for past more than 20yrs. Nothing changes no matter how much I try. I fail everywhere. Not because of me…but bcoz o people around me who I cannot avoid. I dont see any meaning to my life….nobody is bothered…everyone has their lives families kids job friends….. I have tried everything to make things work for me but I always end up at zero. When I do things for others…I never fail….so ppl take me for granted…tell me how I made mistakes…elders…kids…friends…peers…parents…relatives…I keep hearing the same bloody sentences…. nobody feels that i can also feel hurt…I want to be loved…want somebody do some good to me….all this is bullshit

        • I fell like it is the only my pain will go away as my wife left 5 months ago and I don’t know why as I love her so much and I have talk about it to them that love me but I just can’t get past 18 years of 100%love I had and still have for my wife John is my name what do I do

          • I’m 26. Life’s been a complete hell. If I somehow find a way to be happy, there’s always something that happens to ruin everything and bring me down again. I just want this pain to end.

          • my life is really really bad right now no one understands all my kids are gone except one and he blew off grad this year and school he drives me to work I work in fast food where lots of people hate me or are jealous of me im trying to find another job but its hard out here I moved out here from a larger area where noone bothered us people gaslight me and force men on me I dont like they teased me to tears about the only two men I care about out here Ive been alone for 11 years since my second divorce Im 53 and I think about suicide all the time everyone else in my family has someone and all their kids didnt live here and there and joint custody i was always a good mother but i got screwed people who hate me out here men i blew off and totally evil people at work mess with my head constantly I need my own drivers license but its so far away I just give up theres no way out! I just want to die sometimes to stop the pain !!!!!!!!!

        • This life is just so painful that i wish i can end it asap..nothing is true around me..just hate this life to the fullest

        • Anyone know how i can deal with having no freinds or “friends”that always leave you out of conversations? I have tried making new friends but no one likes me. I have been wanting to die for months nownand have tried to freeze to death several times.

        • I feel exactly the same. I wish someone of my family realised and / or helped, but they are just so worried about themselves that they don’t even notice me and my thoughts.

        • I knew there were people out there that felt the same way as me and I’m just glad I’ve found them would love to exchange thought and fellings with someone as I don’t feel I can do this anymore I feel like my situation could be fixed at the click of a finger and no ones doing anything to help me I mean maybe they are but right now I feel alone I have just lost my girlfriend of 7 months and my family won’t take me back due to how I treated them when I was growing up I have apologised I work 6 days a week in a stable job and have begged them for some help but nobody seems to want to help maybe talking to someone could help! Please reply

      • Hi Cindy, just came across this site. The only reason I haven’t alr3ady taken my life is BC of my kids but I’m just so traumatized and have dealt with PTSD for over 8 years and just keeps getting worse. My first husband left me BC I couldn’t get better now I’m homeless been many places and just tired and sick and ready to get off of the rollercoaster for good. But I wish u well and that u get well.

      • I uh it’s hard sometimes for a lot of people especially if your dad left you for a girl and that will never spend time with you I have been there and that’s still what is going on I have tryed talking to him about it and he just listen at all and i have been pushing my family away so I could spend more time with my dad but he doesn’t want to spend time with me it just a waste of time my family barely even likes me sometime I’ve attempted suicide but I guess its not worth telling anybody

        • I was placed in foster care as a child, molested and abused in system, adopted and hurt and betrayed by people i thought were suppose to love me. Desperate for love and effection i allowed things to happen to me.
          I know have children of my own. My oldest sons father is trying to take my son. I’m currently pregnant.
          I’m t tired of struggling. I’m tired of hurting. I’m just tired.
          I know my kids will miss me. ….but i hope in time they will forgive me. I truly believe at this point they will be better off. I hate feeling like this and it breaks my heart that there are so many who feel like i do. I wish and pray for peace.

      • Hi my names dave, ive messed my life up I lied to my wife and I know because ive lied she will want to end our marriage and her and my daughter is all I have my daughter is 4 years old with asd the only thing keeping me here is her but I cant live without my wife and I don’t think I can go on

        • I killed someone by accident, didn’t see him on the road and hit him… I was in jail for 4 months, but I got out and the woman I love is now cheating on me I’m pretty sure and I just want it all to end… I already feel bad enough for my victim and the woman I love cheating on me is just icing on the cake 🙁

          • That is a very heavy burden to bear. I have some experience in this area myself and it’s costing me dearly. If you want to talk, I am here and could use a friend who is as depressed as I am. I’m just too much of a whuss to kill myself. I know you wrote this 2 months ago but I know your pain isn’t over.


      • Hey cindy. Hope you found your path. Been sad and alone for 35 years . Pray every nigh that its my last yet here i am. Been to docs. Been on meds. Nothing seems to help.. I suppoae God brought us here and will take us when its time. Hope mine is soon. Peace be with you.

        • Well put.

          I am 36 and have made that prayer for 30 years.

          I have no idea as to why, i remember being 6 or 7 on the top bunk of my squeely metal bunk bed praying to anyone listening to Please, Please make it so i wouldent have to wake up another day.

          Still here, still make that prayer regularly.

          • Ive been struggling with depression for a long time now.
            Lifes not good for me. At all. No love no girlfriend, nothing. Days just pass in front of me and I cant do anything about it… this is hell… i really dont know what to do.. ive been doing some research about the most painless ways to just go… i will do it… no one will miss me anyways.

      • Hey Cindy! I don’t know who you are. But I’ve also been feeling the same for quite a while. If you read this by any chance and want to share stuff and listen to mine! Please do reply.

      • I want to die it’s no big deal and as my brain puts me in such extreme different moods good and bad but way more bad, this means being stuck in feeing scared bored lonely lonely and dormant, rocking back and forward , it will happen weni am extremely angry . gonna die anyway& wen u die u will wish u did it sooner, looking forward to no; no misery worry panic etc so bye bye

      • Im in same cndition idk any1 dnt trusts me …. I hv a sister whom i consider my lyf bt she to started ignoring me dun to misunderstanding i just feel to die

      • Hi I searched this today just because I had a low moment and I can’t exactly talk to anyone I would do anything for the pain to go away and have a shoulder to cry on but I guess not everyone is so lucky I I’m just relieved that there are other people who care 🙂


        • Then just text Kris. What ever you do stay on this site. I was getting ready to do it today. As I looked methods I ran across this site. Think about losing your child, your husband, your house burning down to the ground, car accident resulting in brain injury, and open heart surgery all in one year. Talking about depression and wanting to end it all.

        • Am actually shedding tears as I read this because I understand what everyone is feeling. For me am just waiting for that day am gonna drink the poison in my house, I know it will help me end this emotional pain for once. Am gay, and I hate it even if I cant change, i feel like i lost my dreams, everyday i drag myself energy-less, sometimes i may be going somewhere but emotions overpower me I just return to my house and sleep. I feel lonely, no one cares about me, no one understands me, Sometimes i meet friends and am forced to smile, when they leave i just shed a tear even if am in public….I know my death will be the worst thing to my mother after dads death 5 years ago. but am gonna kill myself, i cant move on, i just cant. bye.

      • I contemplate suicide Almost every other day for as long as I can remember.
        Literally since i was 6 or 7, i have some how managed to survive to 36. So far.

        I dont wear the fake smile anymore.

      • Hi Cindy.. Hope your doing OK.. its a very good suggestion to exchange thoughts so we can relate to each other n help overcome this feeling of aloneness..

      • Everyone i love keeps dying I feel like when I die their won’t be anyone left to care I’m always wearing a fake smile, even in my own house

      • I feel that way too Cindy I know you wrote this months ago so hopefully things are better now. I tried to kill myself two years ago and then I met him and didn’t, we’re still together but all those feelings are back I want to die and I tried to leave him but I can’t I’m too selfish. I want to save him from me but he won’t leave I just want to go in peace and stop feeling so guilty I know it would hurt him, but I hurt too I’ve hurt for the last year and a half I’m fine for awhile and then I want to die again I don’t know why I just can’t do it I hate everything around me. Please help me or say something so I don’t feel crazy.

      • I am fed up. I have been for counselling and it just made things worse. What the hell am I supposed to do when no one believes I have depression and my family is not supportive at all. Help me please someone if you have an answer

        • You tell them to get lost!! Permanently! Family is not important if they can’t support you or trust you! UNLESS you did something to lose their trust, then you earn it back and THEN try again to have a trusting and supportive relationship. If that is NOT the case, then they will never change and you need to realize that it’s much more painful to have them in your life than out. No one can love you or treat you better than yourself so you MUST be your biggest fan!!

      • i feel the same way.. It’s like no one cares about me… My family don’t even care if i live or die. It’s just like i m Invisible to them.. i have awesome friends but when it comes to family i feel like killing myself. THE BRAVEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE WAS CONTINUING MY LIFE WHEN WANTED TO DIE.

      • Okay you are saying talk about it with people but I talked about it with people and no one understands the pain I have, and every body cares about them lives, no one changes its schedule to you, first they think about them selves and if im not taking their time and harming them or affecting their comfortability, what can of people shall I talk to, no body cares, its a selfish world.

      • Hello, RIGHT now, at this moment I feel hopeless, dead, worthless. I just want to die but in the easiest way. Silently you know, I do not think that anyone will miss me, I need help. I feel like No one is listening to me. I do not feel heard. I want to scream and shout and let it all out, but I KNOW that will not work. I just want all of it to just go away, I would be so much happier if it all went away. God knows all I want is to be happy. Help me 🙁

      • I recently have just started feeling like this i feel like my life over and ive got nothing to look forward to and nothing worth living ive lost everything have no family and no real friends ive never felt likethis before and its horrible

        • @P Thomson, I wish I really knew. The closest thing I can come to is the people I am with. There’s someone I know who is usually pretty good about keeping me back on track. I know my thoughts can really get me messed up, but I cannot for the life of me stop certain thoughts once I start; it will all just snowball until I’m crying, or I’m just paralyzed with all these fears and worries or negative thoughts about myself. Sometimes having that friend helps to remind me that my thoughts can lie to me, that I pyche myself out and even if I feel like there is no hope, there is and I need to wait until I’ve calmed down and see it. Sometimes I hear their voice in my head, and that helps a lot, just to remember another voice and not my own.

      • Iv e been suffering major back pain. On pain killers anti depression drugs .. things that make me this way alter various investigation in how I was hurt at work it’s been put back on me ie blaming me.. it’s been 14months since j last worked .. feel useless worthless
        I’ve been wen told u will be good in time I don’t know how much more I can take ..

      • Hi cindy… I feel just like you…I have become too low… I have nothin to do right now… my parents don’t understand me my boyfriend ignores me… I have no one to take care of me.. no one.. I’m crying right now while typing this… i really dnt know when nd where this is gonna end… but my wish is to end my life instead of being troublesome

        • I have given up. I have been abused physically and mentally by everyone I loved or love. The abuse continues. Yes they say certain people attract relationships that are abusive … or something … My mother kicked me out without letting me get my stuff. I feel sad that I do not feel well. Almost skin and bones. I cant do it anymore. Everyone has made it clear “they would be better off without me.” I ruin their lives or make them sad. It seems they would recover and be happier if I just got it over with?

          I mean I enjoy things about life. But I cant live and continue to make people sad. I want to get well, but I want to run away so far!!!!!!

      • Cindy I’m in the same boat I really wanna do it I’ve really had enough I just can’t be arsed anymore with the struggle

      • Hi, I was searching up ways to commit suicide without pain and I almost gave up and just tried to stab my self (and I know this sounds like I am lying and just looking for attention but I am not) I can’t talk to people face to face, I just cower away and cry in the school toilets, so thanks for writing this, I love knowing that out there somewhere there are actually people who care for those in a hard time no matter what and I just almost cried with happiness to know that someone just sat down and wrote all of this to tell people who have sufferers the same as me and others, that all is not lost. Thank you xx

      • I’ve been in and out of hospital since 2015 ,till now, I don’t have any friends because I think it’s a waste of time, I’m terrible at math and my teacher isn’t the kind you can approach and get what you want from her, and im in grade 10,doing subjects that require a good score on math and science. All these social and mental factors of my life I’m facing make just want to die, which is why I was just researching on painless ways to commit suicide. I would have killed myself a long time ago but I couldn’t because first thing that comes into my mind is how it’ll affect my family and people who know me, I really wanted to be a successful somebody in life so that I could give back to my mother who went to hell and back for me, but I just can’t seem to be interested in living any more, plus all that time I spent in hospital affected me badly, I never want to see myself going back to that place again,so I saw that the only solution to all my problems is to try and commit suicide. I really don’t want to suffer anymore, can you please help me?

      • The most painful part is no one trully understands what it feels like to be alone. To feel like you do not belong in this world is so painful. I am so tired of pretending i am ok just forhe benefit of others. the truth is i am miserable i have no desire to do anything. Its gotten to the point that I just want it to stop and cant see the point of trying to livea “normal” life. Sometimes I feel i just want to go home and leave this world but theres a part of me that that wont allow me to give up which makes it harder.

        • The more i see others suffering the more I get depressed, I know i am one of those people that is highly sensitive and am a sponge for everyone’s emotions but it gets so loud and painful. My mind is always noisy, the thoughts never stop. I even find myself stressing about the fact that I stress. I have lost my appetite and just dont want to g out. When I am around people i fell alone as if my mind is elsewhere i am stuck in my own mind and cannot escape. The truth is even though it makes it easier knowing others are going through this its not something i would ever wish on my worst enemy. It reminds me of a story when i was younger, i had this chicken pox on my head that would not go away, I must have been about ten. One day whilst walking with my grandpa I looked up and said if we can just chop my head off i will be fine. It has always been my mind that causes my suffering. I feel like that ten year old that just wants to chop my head off to make the thoughts stop. People will tell me its good to be too sensitive, for me it is a course. I wish all the strenght in the world to anyone experiencing any kind of pain.

      • I would like to share with you, I understand the depression and anxiety. Please let’s support each other, I am here for you.

      • I’ve been married 44 yrs don’t think I have ever been happy always felt insecure .Not taking this on myself ,I’ve been used more ways than you could believe. I feel so bad need to shake this ,bad thoughts at this time can change if something or somebody is nice to me ,then it never lasts ,fed up with being used.Is it all worth the pain and misery what for .I have nothing left life is only good if you have got something to live for ,I have not just a f misery

      • i lost my bestfriend today and she doesnt care about me she said that she hates me and she told rumors about me to my other bestfriend which i lost thing i learned today bestfriends dont EXSIST………..i just want to kill myself .i am ALONE…..

        • Hello Nobody, I feel exactly like you all the time specially since my family doesn’t listen to any of my words and they have forgotten me completely! It’s not only a thing from friends because I have felt it from my friends and my family! I really like killing my self. books used to be working but they no longer help! I hope you won’t hurt yourself just by loosing some friends because I have nobody in my life!!!!

          • I’m feel alone and empty.each morning I wake up I just want to end it,i can’t take it anymore .I have friends but I can’t call them friend and every where I look I just see pain and suffer. I have no one in my life and can’t even talk to my family.I live like a ghost, no on see or care, maybe something is wrong with me,I can’t sleep I just thing about why this happened to me,why I’m alone and unhappy,why there is no one is my life.I don’t have any future and I want to end this pain.

      • I’m 15, and so lonely. I can’t get outside to meet people, and socializing is something that I really need. I have gone through a painful breakup, which I recovered from. I let down my emotional barriers, and started to love someone else, but then they hurt me in the same way. I don’t know if I can make it. Reading all of everyone’s other comments makes me feel better though. It makes me feel like I’m not alone.

      • Cindy, my feeling is the same. I have been in depression for the past 18 months and this week its at its peak. I dont feel like taking help but jusy want to end my life. I feel I am a burden on everyone and cannot do good to anyone

      • i ve been so tirred of faking that i m happy all day and it sucks a lot , i just wanna everything to end , yesterday i was so close to put an end to myself but i couldn’t do it i keep thinking of what if i just fail in killing myself i won t be able to forgive myself , and yeah i wanna disappear so bad

      • Cindy are still here. I read your post and I feel the same way but I don’t think this site is going to do anything for me. How can you be surrounded around people and feel invisible. My family don’t seem to care or want to talk to me. Every one says it will get better, and you got to think of your kids, and I just don’t know what to say to you. So they ignore me which will definitely push me to the edge, I don’t want to live anymore. I feel invisible so I might as well be for real.

        • ur strong enought . your thoughts are all virus . visit A doctor. we get sick mentaly from family friend etc. as we get sick phsyically from bacteria etc

      • I have felt so low for a few years now . I’m 24 now but it started when I broke up with my best friend and girlfriend for 6 years when I was 16. Ever since then my life has been a battle . I constantly feel guilty about everything , even eating . I think about death every day and if not everyday at least every 2 days . I have left so many good jobs over my thoughts. I’m sick of putting on a fake smile every single day and hiding my feelings . I constantly want to help others but I can’t even help myself . I would put anyone ahead of myself .. I constantly feel like a burden I feel like if i wasn’t hear that people could stop worrieng about me and just move on .. My mam and dad would be so disappointed in me if I turned to suicide and also my friends.. I think it’s gone on so long now that 1 day I’m fine I can put it at the back of my mind but before I know it I’m back in that dark place . I want to say this video helped but I don’t think it has . Hopefully I don’t turn to suicide

      • Hi Cindy. I realize you posted to talk to Jack however I am in the same boat as both of you. I agree that the words I found on this site ring true in every way for me as well. I would also like to connect with people who understand how horrible the feelings we live with are and how much we hurt. For me it’s all day. Every day and I don’t want to hurt anymore. If you or anyone else who reads this and have the same feelings please say hello. I really want to believe there are people like me out there but I am skeptical. I sure hope this site isn’t just playing with my feelings or using me for some mailing list. I need people that are feeling like me to talk to. I hope you are one of them.

      • Need some one who can understand the feeling of mine

        Need aa partner that can help me to come out from this situation

        Who can guide me the goals of my life

      • Hey Cindy…..I know what you mean…I really do…it’s not like I don’t have friends or my parents don’t love me….but noone ever understood that there’s a difference between being lonely and being lonely….it’s like no one even cares about what I feel….no one ever listens to what I have got to say, I am more of a clingy, annoying burden with whom everyone has to put up with.

      • I’ve been bullied for a while and its getting worse my parents won’t move me and won’t hear what I’m saying I can’t take it anymore

      • I totally understand and faking a smile and no one even noticing is soul crushing you feel as if your not worth living you’re a burden in someone’s life, like I feel absolutely nothing inside, I’m too much for some people and not enough for others.

      • It is very important to receive both medication and non medication treatments for depression. Medication treatment such as Zoloft antidepressant and non medication is with a psychologist by receiving cognitive behavioural therapy.

      • Hi,I would like to connect with someone who is experiencing similar problems.I am in severe mental pain ,that is hard to describe?like my brain is telling me it’s too late and there is no wait out,my mind can’t stop racing .Is anybody going through the same situation?

      • I feel overwhelmed confused and lost. Every decision I make seems to be the worst possible one to pursue. I end up upsetting and pushing away people I love. I find that I’m not finding my way and even worse I’m in the way of others around me also bringing them down. Just don’t want to be another obsiticle or be here!

      • Hi I feel that way also. I feel there is no hope for me i dont like being alone. Maybe if you and i talked some we could help each other. I hope you respond so we can chat.

      • I just don’t want to be here anymore. It is so hard for me.
        Fake smiling, pretending I’m not dying everyday on the inside to just not be here. I just hope I am successful at my next attempt because I’m not staying it’s not getting better.

      • I’m to a point I want to end my life. I’m lost and confused.. But tbh its my six year old daughter that stops me in my suicidal thoughts, i still have feelings to end my life but how will this Impact on my child in years to come?

      • I dont matter never did. I feel like my love is worthless and was showed by people i thought loved me were fake, just a lie. My family has not cared for me my whole life and i really hate this feeling like im such a failure to love or matter to others.
        So now what

      • Dear is really short..why make it more short then?I know u must be having really bad problems goings on in your life..dats y u came here..but if u really wanted to die u would have died simply without wasting time here…it’s only because u want some ray of hope, or someone to say something that will make u feel little very little better..which means u are afraid ,u know dat death is going to hurt u badly..dats y u came to find painless ways..friends there is always a silver lining after every dark cloud..may be this is your bad time..but u have lived so many years…couldn’t u wait for a little longer to see that silver lining??may be it will take a few more days or weeks or months…or may be a few year or two…is it not worth enough of your precious life? Struggle always leads to success and happiness…whatever struggle u r going through at present, if u fight and overcome then u will surely be happy at the end…I promise u…I bet u…it is life…it has place for both happiness and sorrow…I quote from Anne Frank dairy “just think of all the Beauty still left around you..and be happy”…even if little beautiful thing…bt think about those who are in worse condition than u…life is not dat cheap friends..u all are precious..please don’t take it lives so easily…

      • Hi Cindy my name is Alex and though I have many people around me,I also feel very alone and depressed.I actually have thought about suicide.Only thing is I have 2 kids.

        • I’m the some peter I have tried to die about 5 times but it not working so I just give up my wife die 7 years ago and I was not good when she die but befor that I had depression and now I just what to be with my wife

          • Hi Justin,
            I have just read your post. My husband died 7 ears ago too, and I am just lost without him. People think I should have moved on, but he was my soul mate, my best friend my world, and I miss him more than I can bear. I work part time, and recently lost my job. I care for my parents and two elderly aunts. I have anxiety along with depression and cannot bear the thought of living another 30 odd years like this without him. I wish people understood that depression is an “Illness” and not an Issue that you can just get over. I like so many just want to go to sleep and never wake up

      • Hi cindy
        I am feeling the same as you I have not been happy for 5 years now and I have to give a fake smile all the time I got a son he’s at my mums he’s just a person to me now I just am lonely and I do really what to die but I don’t no what to do I hate my safe

      • I want to go but I have a son and only carry on because of him, he makes me happy but other than that I have nothing, I can’t do relationships and have no friends my family don’t understand depression and things they are good people I feel I must not be for having these thoughts, I’m trapped in a relationship that isn’t working but I can’t upset my son and leave, so I feel everyone would be better off without me, sometimes even I don’t understand me or what’s wrong with me 😭😭😭😭😭😭

      • Hi Cindy,

        Words simply can’t express the depression I am feeling. Every day I look at Faces of Suicide online and imagine adding my face to theirs. Going through a nasty divorce and losing everything I worked so hard for. I chose the wrong people to trust and it has cost me everything. Even my will to live. I am too old to begin again. It’s only a matter of time before I take my own life.

      • Hey Cindy, I feel the same 100%. I want to commit suicide but I know it is not right. But I can’t take the pain anymore. I know I did something wrong but I didn’t really even know I did it . Am I going crazy ?

      • I’m sick of wearing a fake smile as well… I present a happy face to everyone, everybody thinks I come from a happy family… but the truth is my mom really does want to kill me, the only thing stopping her is the legal implications. She always mistreats me only when my dad isn’t home, so my dad doesn’t know, and when I tell him, my mom always denies it,says I’m the one at fault, and she says it so convincingly that even I believe her, and start blaming myself. She constantly tells me I’m stupid… but this forum helped, I’m glad I came here.

      • I feel the same way as Cindy, I’ve got a loving family, wonderful kids but the pain I deal with every minute of the day is horrible. I’ve had 5 back, 1 neck and 4 shoulder surgeries, they continue to cut the pain medication and tell the pain will go away? I’ve been told sleep more, you don’t feel pain when you sleep! Ya, he went to med school for 12 yrs for that! I don’t enjoy doing anything because the pain just gets worse. My depression goes up and down, I don’t enjoy being around people or family functions just because I’m So Tired of putting on a fake face. I just don’t enjoy life, I can’t work and I just lay in bed all the time because that’s where I hurt the least. I’m tired and just think I’m at the end of my fight!

      • Hi Cindy, I hope you’re doing fine right now and I hope you still continue to live your life. I may not know what you are going through but I have depression and I still find ways to live this life in a way that I will make myself proud that at some point I didn’t give up and I still manage to wake up everyday and go on with my life.

      • Hi. I really need to leave this world. I’m terrified of pain though. It’s so hard living with this. My son is torturing me mental abuse day in day out. He’s 28 and I want him lout of my home. But he won’t go. I have no one to help me get him out. He knows i have severe depression and anxiety but just pushes and pushes. He wants me to kill myself coz he thinks there’s life insurance. But there’s not… So he’s going to be very disappointed. I’ve made up my mind that I’m doing it. I get abused daily and no one does anything to protect me from him. He won’t get out of my house… He’s ruined my life. I just need to get off the earth and be done with it…

        • Go talk to your local citizens advice for free legal help and to get referred to the places that will help you get son evicted. Is a (painful but not complicated in the end) legal matter. It is always hard to deal with relatives, particularly to resort to legal methods for doing it- but it does work and would fix the biggest issue you have and allow you to move on with your life and have a chance at living and even being happy again. There is help and there are solutions, it is just hard to find them and do them without support and when trying to deal with crippling depression. We have thousands of members from UK that can offer more to the point advice if you want to post in the forum for more specifics.

      • Hi, I’m in my early 30’s aswell I also was Looking around for way’s to die when I ran into this site, I have a history of being a cutter I have stopped for many years but now I have relapsed I have never experienced suicide though’s until now, I feel like I hate myself, I’m alone, and I don’t deserve to live… I keep telling myself this is my depression but everyday it’s getting harder and harder for me, thanks for listening

      • There’s no way out, my husband had an affair, I’m in my 40’s had to move back with my dad who’s aggressive, violent and the reason I left home 20 years ago. He’s a nasty bully and I have no where to go. I’d be homeless or livebin a tent but I have pets and I can’t subject them to that. I want an empty house to live in with my dogs, I want to be peaceful but I can’t afford to live on my own. I have no way out.

      • you guys dont understand some people have been trough tough times for example my parents hate me then they passed on so i live with my sisiter and brother who are alaways gone i have no aunts or uncles i dont have friends im just a wall and i dont fit in with anyone or anything i just want to leave this place behind and go to a better place

        • No Sam, it is you that do not understand- we have 40,000 members and 9000 people a month that come to the forum that all have issues – some relatively mild issues like yours, some of truly horrific and ant terrifying things thta have happened to them in the past or present circumstances that would eb impossible to believe how can endure. But what we have all found despite nearly all of us having ended up here searching for ways to kill ourselves is thta first – we are not alone- there are thousands of us who do understand and that you can talk to because we do genuinely understand, and secondly that the past doesn’t dictate our future and we can choose different paths where there is a possibility for happiness. Because 40,000 people are better at coming up with solutions for the problems 1 person faces than 1 person that has tried everything they can think of but nothing worked so think they are out of options.

      • I live with the same guilt you are dealing with, it was nice to hear some words from you. If you still want to share something just leave a message and I will be there for you. Don’t end your life like this, you won’t know how precious your life is, until you live one. There are ups and downs in everyone’s life but that doesn’t mean life has to be ended. My brother is my constant companion in fighting with this and I’m glad I shared with someone, which saved my life

      • It freaking sucks. Hiding. Acting. And when you don’t act anymore that’s when everybody starts paying attetion. When they find out u hurt yourself then they want to help. But u wonder why didn’t they help fro the begging.

        • Because you are hiding and acting. How are people supposed to help when you hide it from them and lie about what is going on?? The saying everything is fine but hoping they notice that you are just lying and belief that you should be able to say everything is okay but they should interject and ask and get involved anyway just doesn’t work out – ever. If you are hiding what it is going on or claiming it is okay verbally even when things are not then nobody is responsible for not helping you except you.

      • Cindy I have found this site tonight, I know exactly what you mean by wearing a fake smile, I have been pretending things are fine for over 18 months I am living a continual lie, I am exhausted cannot pretend anymore. I feel extremely alone/worthless

      • “The World is still beautiful” that’s how i Survived living since a kid, i always feel alone.. thanks to internet it somehow lessen the pain coz somebody out there understand with a blog like this

    • Hi everyone. I am really down. I feel that removing myself from the world is the only way out. I can’t see any happiness I am helpless. My children don’t speak to me as their mother an me are divorcing. My immediate family sisters mother are not so supportive. It’s tickets g I really me now. I’ve always been unlucky in life.

      • I can relate.
        I honestly believe that the few people i do love are better off without me.

        I actually think i am supposed to have died long ago ant i have through the order of things out of wack.

        My Sons mother wanted to get an abortion for a number of reasons and i talked her out of it, i now understand better as to why that was a possibility.

        Because i am no supposed to still be here and that causes major problems for anyone close to me.

    • My life has no future…. No hope….I’m alone…. I have a disease, both physical and mental (bi-polarism)… Son who barely talks to me, the love of my life walked away and continues to take advantage of my feelings for her… A failed marriage….no money….no real means to support myself….medication to barely survive…..I WANTED TO END THIS ceaseless FEELING OF PAIN….cry constantly…. Am I failure….I have gender issues…..list goes on n on….just wrote my suicide letter…..I’m so close to ending it once and for all?

          • Times for me have been hard. I can’t sleep can’t eat or drink anything. Alot ignition is bc I’m sick. I’ve read everyone’s comments. I hope you are all doing well I want to die bc of two main reasons. One is because I’m always messing up and can’t seem to do nothing right. The second is bc I really just don’t feel alive. I’m 1529 miles away from home and I don’t have any family here except my daughter and husband. I feel sick and very tired. I can’t hold down food and my body is in a miserable state. Not only this but I hear all the time of how I’m hated. It makes me feel unwanted. I’ve wanted to go back to cutting. But I can’t help to feel that death would be easier. The only reason I’m not gone yet is because of my daughter.

          • I have had bipolar disorder since 2000. I have been on various meds, none worked. I have no car, no job, my friends have all deserted me. I am just sick of the pain. I have a disc disease and of course I can’t get any medication for that, so I am in physical pain in my home prison everyday. It goes against everything I feel life should be.

    • Jamie

      Hi to all. I know this feeling also. I looked up how to die without pain & here I am. Please feel free to respond, I feel very alone…

    • Hi, I don’t know anyone on this website but I’m considering suicide. My excuse is so silly I have no idea if people will think I’m selfish or just a joke. I have failed maths 10 times and I have just failed again. I’ve been suicidal for a while now never really consider actually doing it, since failing this maths test there’s no point continuing. Maths has always been a subject that always pissed me off but its made me feel so low to the point where I think I’m worthless failing this exam have ruined my dreams of becoming an adult nurse and I have no idea what to do now. I’m 19 years old and I’m so confused but suicide seems like the most clearest thing right now I feel guilty of what the after effects will be but I don’t care I just want to end it. I hate my situation.

      • hi ikrah, u r the first one here who’ve made me laugh – thank u!… maths is dead easy for some (boring maths teachers, i am one of them) and difficult to other….get a good tutor, watch maths on net, buy some fun maths books, it’s great fun really….or just forget about it

      • Dude, I feel the same way! I hope you are still on here, I’d like someone to talk with.
        I get these phases of wanting to end my life over what I think others might consider silly reasons. But usually it helps to know that my failures will fade in the past, and if they are in the past….they presently don’t exist. Just my memory of them. Idk if that sounds stupid, but it helps me.

        Right now I’m 25, paying off student loans, stuck at home with my parents and working at a job I feel like I fail at everyday. And I went to school for it; I feel like I don’t belong where I am, and I don’t really know what to do but to shut down; even hobbies I used to live for seem like a chore. The best thing that’s helped is just envisioning that it can change. I’m trying to figure out a way to move out, I know that will help with a lot of my anxiety. I’ll get back to my hobbies, I’ll enjoy something again, idk what, but something. So far I’m starting by drawing (something I used to love). It’s boring, but I’m going to try and do it until I remember why I loved it.

        • Hello .. (not sure what your name is haha), don’t worry I’m still here. I felt so happy reading your message, it’s actually made me realise that I’m really not alone in this situation whatsoever. I’ll tell you a bit about myself since I posted that comment. I’ve currently enrolled on this really good maths course (my induction starts soon) and I have a whole new realisation that life is pretty much worth it. You see, when I wrote that no-one in my family understood me yet alone my situation (not going to lie but that made it even worse!) so that’s where the feeling of loneliness and isolation came from. I just thought ”if no-one knows about this feeling, then it’s just my thing and my thing alone” but actually you proved me wrong and many others (I have just recently come back to this site to see if I have received any new messages) but I didn’t know that months ago. After I posted this message I tried to end my life 2 months later (via pills I know so cliche lol) I had gotten into a huge fight with my elder sister (who I already have a dysfunctional relationship with already). That fight was kinda it really, but when I was laying there on my bed waiting to fall into unconscious until finally stop breathing altogether I realised something all by myself – I have people that love me. I know it sounds cheesy! But it’s true, I mean I have five siblings if I were to die my dad would blame my mum and my mum would blame herself and everyone else would just blame each other. Not only would I destroy my life but the lives of other’s around me as well. Here’s a quick update: I’ve started to socialise with my old school friends and I’ve recently started gardening with my mum. I love it, it’s nice and soothing and the quality time with my mum is warm and tender something I haven’t felt in a while. I’m not going to lie I’ve had what you call ‘breakdowns’ here and there constantly questioning my existence but sometimes I just look at my suicide attempt and think what could had been had I fallen through with it. Hope you message back:).

    • I feel the same. Feels like i cant communicate and i cant comprehend anything. Its like living in a deceased body. Everyday i wake up seems like a new nightmare. I want it to end.. just want it over..

    • They say the pain will go away, that’s just not the case for someone like myself. I have a spinal cord injury and my dominant left arm is paralyzed because of a motorcycle vs. car accident that wasn’t even my fault. The stupid girl didn’t see me, so now I get to spend the rest of my life in constant pain. When I say constant pain, I really mean constant unbearable, relentless, severe physical pain that leaves you a shell of your former self. So to tell me that it will get better and that the pain will go away is a complete lie. Trust me I know because I’ve talked to numerous people who are exactly like me and they are still hurting 15, 20 years later just as if the accident happened yesterday for them. No one should have to experience and know paralysis and the never ending pain that goes with it. I’ve waited over a year and undergone 12+ hours of surgery to try and correct my problem but there is no correcting it. My pain is exactly the same and I still have a paralyzed arm/hand. I’m just sick and tired of living and I truly want to go to sleep and not wake up. My life is a burden on all of those around me, especially my wife who sees firsthand the constant torture I am in. I just want her to have the life that she deserves, a life with a healthy husband who can give her a family that she so desperately needs. I just want to be pain free and have a normal working arm and hand again. But that is just a dream that will never come true. I don’t want to hurt my wife by my loss but I know that she will be devastated. I just pray that she is able to quickly find peace and find someone else that can give her everything that I can’t. I pray that God will have mercy on my soul. I pray that He will forgive me and most importantly I pray that a saved soul cannot go to hell. Unfortunately the only way to know is to try. As my dad always said, there’s nothing to it but to do it. I pray that I can finally find the peace in the afterlife that I wasn’t able to find in my conscious life. God be with my family and friends. I love everyone.

    • HI my name is Jackie and I to have been feeling sick n tired of living in this world. There some days were yes I wake up good but the majority of the time I’m always so depressed, to the point that I want to die and I have tried a couple of times I have tried to do on pills I have Cutts on my rist but I guess i suck at it or its not my time yet. I hate my self I hate my life . I have this beautiful spirited happy ducking awesome 7 year old boy in my life and I’m always being told by those who no of my situation why don’t you think positive think about your son and to be honest I do but then it hits me and I get worse for the fact that yes he’s healthy and he loves me I’m his supermom but then I’m like duck he didn’t ask to come to this horrible world there’s things happening with sperms Donner and he noes so it’s like omg I don’t want him to suffer so I really do try I’m no the best mother in the world but to him I’m everything. There’s times were I’ll be perfectly fine then bam it happends I’m down and the worst part about it is like you no somethings is wrong but you don’t want to think about it cause you no its goin to get worse. Sometimes I wish someone would invent a vacume in Wich can erase all the bad thoughts memories words thoughts everything that’s bad. I have tried going to church but it’s just not me I cant. I’m just so tired I’m always hurting I just want it to end but I honestly need help I feel like I’m never going to be happy and it’s effecting my relationship with my son as well as my son. I need help

    • I don’t know how to start, but I’m in pain inside right now & have been for a while now(lately), for a number of reasons. But I truly do hope to find some kind of support through this network. I’m tired of feeling alone. I also feel like no one truly cares about me. Or that it would only matter to a very small number of people, if I were “gone”.

    • Hi, anyone know that feeling when you tried to speak to anyone you can find that used to listen to you and they just think what i am feeling is a joke…especially my father who told me one thing that ill never forget, he said that his biggest regret is to hav me born. I have been living like that for the last 10 years, having 2 different me…feel like changing a different set of face everytime i changed to get out of my pathetic little room which is my only safe place left. I have to admit that im a total coward, thats what keep me living everytime i tried to put an end to all this. Btw, anyone ask themself “who am i?” Like i usually do?

    • Hey jack,I’m Steve,,trust me brother. I know how you feel,crying most days,being so miserable and not wanting to live.Today im going try to feel better.I don’t know how,but I hope it gets better for ya.I care.

    • I have no reason to be sad. My only problems are how awkward I am around “friends” and peers and wanting to be loved by anyone… other than my parents of course, they don’t count. I have no impact in this world at all and wouldn’t be missed by many. If I could leave without pain then I would cry so hard but from happiness, it would all be over. Finally. The last thing I want is attention or any help so calling or asking anyone who “cares” is out of the question. The only reason I found this site was because I searched up easiest ways to die, and I found one. Anyway sorry for bothering you with this post although there’s a good chance I won’t post it. I won’t be here for much longer, but I guess it was nice to rethink of why I need to go.

      • Your not awkward, your unique. Even feeling like how I feel about myself, my life etc, I still want to wrap my arms around you and tell you how special you are. I’ve NWVER replied to anybody on here because it’s impossible to let my family or friends know how much I want to disappear. BUT, you posted this comment on October 21st, my daughter’s Birthday and everything you just described mirrors my daughter’s thoughts about herself. I’m sorry you feel this way, I hurt for you and the pain your going through. Please email me, write to me, who knows?? Maybe we can help each other.

      • I don’t have my parents anymore, the only people who love me are my children and it’s difficult to make the decision to end my life as I don’t want to hurt them. I was looking on the internet how to go suicide painlessly and I found this website.

      • Well, I don’t even have parents to receive love from so while they may not count to you- if you compare to those who don’t even have the love of their parents, you may feel better

    • I want to die. I won’t commit suicide because I just couldn’t do that to my daughter or sister but I dream of ways to end my pain. I’m wreckless, I’m stupid. I am a fraud. Life is so overpowering, I know I can’t keep going g at this pace and I pray for peace, pray for uninterrupted sleep. I’m so sad.

    • i plan on killing myself like whats the point in living when there is nothing to live for its just broken hearts fake friendships and bullying what did you do to stop yourself.

    • I have been miserable for the past 4 months. I suffer from depression, instead of supporting me and being understanding my husband and teenage daughter, threw me out of the house and have cut me out of their lives. They won’t answer my calls or text messages. I feel worthless and alone.

      • Hey Anonymous, I have read all ur writings. I jst want 2 suggest u one thing that don’t feel lonely, always be brave, u r d power of 1000 womens.From today ur new life starts. Enjoy ur life.

    • It’s all just words… in real no one in this world could help oneself it’s hard real hard various problems… only question that arise can we attain peace at least after death??? Does anyone ever have a clue

    • I never thought i would have to write a letter like this to anyone. Over the past several years this thought of doing this has come into my mind and pasted out of it, but now the reality of where i am in my life has never been so debilitating. Between my physical and mental illness that i am now going thru i feel there is NO way thru it or out of it.
      THey say that people that commit suicide are cowards and self centered, that they need to make a scene. That is so far from the truth. The truth is i can’t face life any more, i don’t enjoy it! And i’m tired of feeling like i do now, i have been in years of therapy, the seasonal disorder has taken its tole. I know that in a few months ill be in a depression again, that affects my whole being.
      THey say that some one that takes their own life because of their own pain leaves others with more pain. There is pain in all aspects of everyone’s life so that is just a sentence.
      I just don’t want to go on anymore its very simple, i know what is ahead to continue living i can’t bear it. If im loved or not doesnt matter.
      Finally i apologize to all my family and friends for having to deal with this shit i’m going to put you all thru.

    • Hi Cindy, Jack and the third one sorry can’t see your post. I am 15 from Indonesia and my whole life I didn’t care about my grades but only recently I started caring about my grades although I don’t study enough because I don’t have enough high spirits I want to kill myself, hope you get better and so do I

    • I don’t think anyone really cares about my problems so i’m just gonna say that i have felt really low for about the past year and I can never tell anyone because they immideiately dismiss it or make fun of it. I don’t see any point in continuing my life. im 15 years old and I can’t see myself having any kind of meaningful future. The only thing that is keeping me going is that I don’t want to spread my pain. But that is starting to be less of a reason because I just want it to be all over. I’m so tired of fighting this.

    • i just wanna die i have all my and my families money now i am left with nothing how i will tell my son who is 10 we are broke

    • I’m just going to do it! The pain will never go away. No one listened to me no one ever cared to understand that I can’t deal with this life anymore. I’m glad someone can help themselves though

    • Hi. I feel this way completely but the problem is I am also anorexic and I don’t want to recover from it at all because I don’t want to eat or gain weight. This means I can’t ever feel any better from my depression. I am only 15 and I am in such a deep spiral of mental illness and I don’t want to get out. I know I sound crazy but recovery terrifies me. Feeling depressed is safe. But I can’t deal with the pain anymore and that is why I want to die.

    • Hi I have been suffering from depression since the age of 17 and it’s been 10 years.i wish I had the energy to say more but i don’t. I am so tired of my life,I want to sleep and never wake up. I want to be in a coma.I don’t want to live anymore

    • I feel as if I’m a spoiled who has nothing to get for! I’m so tired, I’m not doing the best in school I haven’t turned in many assignments not because I didn’t want to. I’m sure there are many people who have lived much worse lives than I have but yet I still feel that I’ll never be anything I dream of without a piece of paper with an A!!! I feel so tired it’s my fault that these things are happening..
      .they tell us there will be sleepless nights attending this school but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to stay there. For weeks I’ve been feeling. Like a failure. People are being killed in war and what am I crying about…….I wish I could just disappear.

    • I needed this so much… I just feel so alone sometimes and this year was suppose to be the best I really need someone to talk to and don’t want to feel alone

    • i really wanted to kill myself, but now im thinking of how it will effect those around me. i have to try and survive. Why me 🙁 . The amount of people who have visited this site shows me im not alone in the way i feel.

    • I really want to end this pain. I’m exhausted and fustrated that my efforts haven’t taken me anywhere. I have been depressed for a long time now and i really need help

    • I really do have absolutely NO ONE who cares. My own family rejected me and placed me in foster care when I was 3 where I was moved from home to home and either abused or ignored for 15 years before I turned 18 and was kicked out because I was an adult with NO resources and only $200 to live on. 10 years later I’m still alone, no family or friends. I was abused by an EX boyfriend who stomped me in my stomach causing me to miscarry because I refused to have an abortion. I can’t sleep on my back anymore because of PTSD flashbacks of the abuse. All I’m good for is a sex toy. No one cares. No one. I have NO family and zero friends. And don’t say any of you care cuz you don’t.

      • Worthless Toy…first of all, whether people have made you believe that, you are not worthless.
        I am so sorry for everything you’ve gone through. I don’t know you, but I swear to you that you are not useless. And whether you believe me or not, I do care. I may not have shared your experiences, but I know pain. I know it well enough to empathize with yours. I wish there was something I could do or say to ease your unhappiness. The best I can do is tell you that you’re not alone, that others do understand, and that it’s possible to feel love and sympathy for someone you’ve never even met.

    • 25 years it goes away yeh right. The mistake i made was listning to ppl who told me it would getbetter now i exsist for others not myself and i still hate it life is still shit. Im off the streets nw but that doesnt make it any better if anything its worse cos now i have no choice therpy what a joke mindfulpneas is bullsgit that merely hightened my anxiety even the drugs dont work in short 25 years 20 undiagnosed aye it really does get bette. Not

    • Hi jack I’m sad to hear this no one should want to kill themselves that is heart breaking jack god bless you stay positive look for god

    • Hi Jack…i’ve been having so many rough times…I’ve wanted to kill myself because of how pressured I am. The pressure, it’s like a weight, it gets heavier, the heavier it gets the more my pain increases. I’ve been wanting to kill myself, but, I’m too scared. And if I left, my friends would be sad. My internet friends wouldn’t even know I’m dead. What’s should I do? I’m scared. And I can’t stand up to my own family…they would be so angry. I” scared, pressured and I don’t know what to do!

    • I 26 years old and I am really feeling lonely and depressed but from the past 8-10 years my life is just not in my control I don’t know what to do and I wanted to study hard and become a good person and help the humanity …but unfortunately I don’t know what to do …..I love you my mum and my dad….I ready religious book and try not to hurt myself.. GOD MADE THIS WORLD VERY MUCH BEAUTIFUL BUT SOME OR MORE PEOPLE ARE MAKING THIS WORLD MESS ..

    • I need help I just have this constant black cloud over me in all around me. I’m see my dr today I’m already on meds but I feel so sad the pain is too much

    • I dunno what to write it’s so hard but I feel so low and feel there’s no way out. It’s nice to see there ARE people in the same boat as me I feel so alone and just feel like life is not worth living nomore

    • I don’t know how much longer I can keep living. Or even how much longer I can keep faking a daily smile and faking it all.

    • I’m a 16 year old girl. I am called a whore in the halls at school constantly. Growing up I was the victim of extremely harsh bullying for 7 years. I come from a broken family and even though I have friends who love me , I feel alone in this world. I feel like no one cares about me. I have attempted suicide 4 times. My mother does not know. I can never tell her. I can not look her in the face and say that it is her fault. I was on this site because I wanted to make a 5th attempt tonight.Reading this article has helped me. Thank you. I still want to die but I feel less alone in this world. Thank you so much.

    • I hate hate hate this life!!! I’ve NEVER felt safe nor comfortable in my own skin. It’s not worth it to me anymore…I so fucking want out

    • hi i am 14 years old and in high school and i just wanted to end it but this website really helped me end those feelings and now i want to help others now. so thank you the makers of this website for helping me to get pass these pains of suicide. i had plan to look for ways to kill myself but i had found the best help out there. i had been in a suicide hospital but it only scared the feelings out of me.

    • Hi i am sooo alone that i cant handle it any more i really want to rest cause i feel bothing is getting better. Im searching gor quick and easy ways i feel thats the best way to end all this

    • Feeling alone while standing in a room full. Can’t seem to get anyone to try to understand. Instead they get mad at me and tell me I’m stupid…
      How can they not see that makes it worse

    • I have been struggling with myself for so long. Ive tried to end my life but i was not successful but i just want to find a way that will. I serve no purpose in this world. Im tired of this.

    • Hi I’m ciaran and I’m only 12 I said some shitty things in my life and just broke up with my girlfriend she was the only thing keeping me going iv cut myself in shame and I feel like there’s no way out

    • I failed to do my thesis presentation because I feel like it’s not good enough… .I asked my prof. For second chance but he said no.. I cried so hard pleading for him in front of everybody but nothing…I will never graduate this march… I have been depressed on and off for 3 years.. fighting to live.. but it’s too much for me now..

    • Me too. I’m at the point where I’m done
      Only 25 too much has gone on, gonna be homeless can’t pay rent can’t find a job until last year I had three kids living with me now I don’t, now I’m ready to die

    • Its bad to commit suicide, i am sorry… I feel depressed too and alone but it breaks my heart to hear that someone is planning/thinking suicide it makes it feel wrong to me it makes me feel sad or bad i hope you have a great day and i will pray for you and stay awesome and also think about it first everyone loves you. Your family does your life is special and you are, your perfect just the way you are 🙂

    • Life is boring, uneventful, and stupid. Am curious to see if death is any different from this world. I see no goal in sight and society is flooded with restrictions. I just want to die and get it over with. But am not weak enough to quit just yet. I have hope, and I’ll bet my life on the future.

    • Reading all these comments do make me feel better. It seems I’m not alone. Thank you. The internet is saving me once again.

    • Hi Jack, I’m listening to you and from my experience that’s the problem with most of the world. They don’t listen unless it’s s paid counsellor who is taught to do that. How are you doing tonight my friend?

    • Hi everyone.. honestly it does help to read a few messages! One of my friends commited suicide years ago and i want to be gone like him. I just want the loneliness and pain to be over!

    • I’m like sososososososo miserably hurt actually more of like a deep, dark, miserable depression !!! Waking up every morning gives me exactly the same pain which we get when someone shoots us !!! The only difference is that the shooting pain lasts for just 10 seconds but wailing up pain is forever !!!

    • Hey jack I’ve tried to kill my self once but it did not work out. I called a suicide hotline and talked for a little it really helped but this forum helped to. If anyone that needs some one to talk to about to about this reply to my message .

    • I am a sick person asking for help idk who I could go to things like this will put me in a mental hospital I don’t belong there but if I have to go I will if I got no other choice

    • I’m young and want to get married, go to college, have kids…well, live a life. But people around me say my life is useless and that I should kill myself. I have been through depression for so long now, and life seems to be crushing down on me. I don’t want to go to hell, in fact, I’m scared. I have a therapist and go to the doc, take meds. but I still want to sleep and never wake up.

    • I to looked up painless ways to Die and found this site. The only reason I am still here is my 8 year old daughter who lost her father to suicide,now I am mad that he left her and now I don’t have the option to because she would have nobody. She is keeping me going

    • Hi Jack I was in depression all my life and I have a lot of resins for that. I think that today is the time for me to kill my self

    • Thank you for posting Jack. I love your name!
      I have been suicidal since I was 12 years old, 40 years later, at 52, I looked up a site to kill myself and found you.
      Thanks for posting and thank you for this web site. My two great aunts jumped off buildings in New York in their 50’s, very violent deaths.
      I will fight on hard!

    • Thank you for this website…i could have died already if i haven’t read this. I really hated myself for being born…i wanted to die because the people who should be the one who’s lovibg me is the one who gave me the thought to just die….i really hate myself. I tried searching ‘how to kill yourself’ and i clicked this website…thank you for making me realize that killing yourself is not good…and does not make the pain go away…

    • I’ve tried killing myself too many times I’ve even tried today. It hurts me so much I really can’t take it anymore.

    • I’ve been low since I was 8…I think its time to end it….tonight was the last time I tolerated this life goodbye world

    • Reading this while searching for a way to die is thoughtful
      But while reading I saw a lot about talking to someone or getting professional help but while knowing that not everyone is blessed
      I have a family that will laugh out loud if I Said i wanna die
      They will just call me dramatic or searching for attention
      Professional help
      I live in a country where is psychic doctors are for crazy people and they will only give me some pills so I can sleep and my family will just keep Mr locked as a crazy person
      My English is not good I’m not American just want to say this
      I’m in absolute pain
      No one understand
      Everything is dark

    • Hey I just stumbled across this when I was researching painless ways to end it tired ,my life partner who is the only person I had ,we were together 15 year ,picked me up off the streets when I was about 33 and had been on my own since my parents died when I was 15 and gave me a life I could have never dreamed of passed away Feb 4th.iam so lonely and have no one to talk to and it hurts so fuckin bad.not one person has even touched hugged or even kissed me on the forehead and told me everything is gonna be alright.i don’t know anymore I’m lost and lonely and sick of everyone’s little world’s there so caught up in that no has an compassion and don’t care about anyone except themselves,so I guess I thought mabye I could find someone who understands
      to talk to on here😖

    • I have been in physical debilitating pain for a year and a half. I can’t work. I can’t take care of the house. I no longer have any quality of life. Doctors are worthless. Pain makes your mind consider things you wouldn’t otherwise consider.

    • Im sorry but if you wanted to kill yourself youd have succeeded by now, maybe those “failed” attempts were proof of your insecurities regarding dealing with your pain or dying. Anyways, im happy you chose life, even if it includes misery and emptyness most of the times.

    • i just decided to end up my life, i am tired with my god gifted life. i am victim of more then 100000USD fraud. and instead of Police and Government support me they scare me and pressure on me for get back this money from my account, while i am doing simple job of USD150 monthly, and i dont have own home, or i cant pay rent. even this much all police and that fraud person doing lie complaint on my name. i dont have money to pay lawyer better i end up my life.

    • My name is Shira and I am 23 years old. My life has been no fairytale. I have been severely depressed and suicidal since before I can remember. At the age of 15 I got hit by a moving V -Line train and ended up in a coma in hospital for 4 months on life support and just when they thought I would never wake up, I opened my eyes. People considered me nothing short of a miracle but it wasn’t easy. It’s not easy at all. I ended up with 130 broken bones and severe brain damage. I had to learn to do everything from the beginning again. I have severe Borderline personality disorder, PTSD, and nerve damage from this shocking injury. Nowadays I am constantly thinking about how much better it would have been for me if I had actually died.I am too scared of life to live it anymore. Except one thing is certain, whatever kept me alive after the train hit me obviously intended on me to do something, maybe tell my story. To let people who are going through something similar know that they are not alone.

    • I dont have any family so im really not hurting anyone but myself. Stop wasting everyones time with posts like this when not everyone lives the fairy tale life like you. Having people care about me was a luxury in my life. I have been alone for years and i simply cant connect with people on an individual basis. Everything is superficial

    • I’m going through a pretty terrible break up and doing extremely poorly in school. Sometimes I want to end it all. I’ve bought razors and looked into getting a gun to kill myself. Thank you for this article it makes me feel better knowing that I’m not alone in this feeling.

    • I just wanted to know the simple way… I dont want listen anything that says me that ” no don’t that its not the way to releif the pain” i just want to know the right and simple way…

    • I St care about life no more I just want to die y am I here I been holding on so long when I was 14 my mom put me out my step dad use to fight me I got rapped twice I saw my boyfriend killed he died in my arms my kids are out of control my lights r off no food my boyfriend does not care or love me no one does so y live to continue to be torched

    • Your website gave me the impression that you were going give answers about painless suicide. Instead I get all this support, not to do it. I really don’t want to be on the earth, I’m 65 very ill and have had enough. Not all of us want to be here. I’m not mentally ill. I have my full faculties. I don’t want people telling me to hang in there etc. I’ve been hanging in and enduring for far too long. I have no purpose, no family, my health has deteriorated to a point that I am waiting to die. If I find some painless way, I will do it. Thanks for nothing

    • Can someone help me! It isn’t that I hate myself it is that I have a vicious mother that abuses me mentally and physically, I don’t have anywhere to go, and I can’t do anything. I’ve told myself that she isn’t worth taking my own life, but what else is there to do? I have no one. It really seems like the only option…

      • Can you get help from family services , or even initially the police, if you have no other family to intervene ? it is illegal to abuse children . someone can almost certainly stop her. it may end your relationship with your mother, but you will still be alive, wont have to see her if you are in foster care and hopefully will have a better future ahead. the other possibility is social services or whoever intervenes may force your mother to get help and supervise her behaviour to you as a parent. you know best if she has a heart that can be reached. if you ever go to foster care and those people show signs of being abusive too go straight back to the authorities. you must have your own back and give yourself love for your courage , self protection and just existing. look at it this way , you don’t have to tolerate criminal assaults against yourself. parents and carers must be held accountable for violence as other offenders are. give yourself lots of love. self love is an not earned thing, there is no cause, its just the right thing to do – the same as mothers that do give their children love don’t give it because of anything their children did . why should we not love and be loved. i hope you are still alive and get lots of love in the future. i hope your mother can be a loving mother to you one day to heal some of your scars and if not that you get real love from others. i am noticing so many of the users of this site are very young and sensitive and romantic, in the romeo and juliet way – every moment seems intense and eternal . there’s a lot a positive ways in which that’s not true & i don’t mean suicide. good luck fellow humans.

    • I’ve been so depressed off and on for years. Seems like my life has basically sucked for the duration of it with spurts of “happy” times. Lately I’m just tired. Tired of living. Tired of feeling unloved and unimportant. Feeling left out. Feeling like I have nobody. If I died tomorrow nobody would even care. The only thing that stops me is that I have two kids. I don’t want them to have to deal with the aftermath. Then I just wish I didn’t have them so I could go through with it. They don’t need to have this depressed mom. Nobody understands. I have a family who doesn’t love me. A boyfriend who doesn’t care. There is literally no point to my life or to living. I wonder why God created me. So I could live this awful life. I thought God loved everyone. At this point I don’t even know what to do.

    • I feel trappwd in this hell of a life. I had a surprise accident where an expresso maker blew up in my face and i cpuld have bled to death. But i had this inner feeling to save my lifr now i honestly wish i wpuld have bled out and just left. I wish I had it to do all over again. I would just allow my body to let go

    • Although I can’t wait for death, I actually do have to wait out this lonely existence until my time comes. It’s going to happen eventually, thank god. Just don’t ask me the point in any of it.

    • I just want to kill myself everyone around me is an asshole and treats me like shit I fucking hate my life every one is a backstabbing bully i really wish there was pain free suicide

    • I just don’t know what to say …we all think abt suicide maybe we all have prbs diffrent ones but those prbs let us loose hope i was thinking abt death & i’m still thinking abt it
      All of us who read this we need help we need friends…we need ppl to stay by our side …all i say in my mind is ” still young for this shit…i deserve to be happy why im not??”

    • Wats the use of life when the person whom i loved more than anyone just changed like clothes and discarded me from everywhere.. My all aims nd drmz seemed to be worthless.. Because i cant imagine life without him.

      • I am tired from my life.. becoue my wife cant undastud to me for our persnol life but i am succes full person in my holl life about my buessnes and every think.. my wifes behave is very shameless i want touch him but she angry on me any time all day i am unsatisfide from sexul life becose thats why i am quite….

    • Well, this hasn’t really made any difference to me, but I hope it does for others~
      All I’ll ever see life as, is a game. You play it right, you stay happy. Play it wrong, you lose. However there is a forfeit; suicide, the easy way out for cowards who can’t play the game anymore. Maybe because they missed a turn; broke a bone, or maybe they were sent back ten spaces; watched their family slaughtered in front of them. Either way, the forfeit is cowardly, therefore so are we. You forfeit, you lose.
      So that’s my opinion, guess I’m taking the cowards way out, this game is boring. Time to start anew.

    • I’m dealing with chronic panic attacks. I feel like the world is ending and I can’t leave my apartment. I want help but I don’t want people to think I’m “crazy” or just lock me away. I’m terrified of living but also terrified of dying. What do I do?

    • I really want the pain to go away and to tell my head to shut up. Believing that the bad thoughts are often exaggerated and the reality is not as bad is so hard but I’m trying.

    • Hi..
      I just wanted to tell somthin..what will i do whn nobody do any actions whn share my thoughts..suicidal thoughts and other thoughts.i feel like no one wont believe of my frnd just ignored it.other one said dnt think too much.and the other said just go to a doctor.

    • I’m Kianna.. I’ve searched many sites for the easiest/ painless ways to kill myself but have yet to find anything. Im just so tired… I feel so empty and useless. I have absolutely no one. The one person i thought i had treats me like crap ( boyfriend). We live together.. I want to leave but i dont have anywhere to go.
      I think God gave up on me… How can He see me go thru so much and not help me??? People always say that to be alive is a blessing, but i dont want to be here. I hate my life. If i could tolerate pain I’d be gone a long time ago

    • I have never tried to kill myself, but I have been having a very serious need to get out of this word. No one wants me here

    • I was crying while reading this , because I was actually googling “easiest and painless ways to die”….
      Thanks so much … made a difference

    • I am so in pain it hurts to think. I’m so tired of people thinking I’m ok, like I’m strong. I’m not. I am a mom and in a relationship where he doesn’t care what happens to me anymore. He’s ended it and we continue. He hates me and makes fun of me daily. I’ve come to hate myself and want it to just end. Failure after failure in my life and awful abuse along with tragedy and health issues have left me wanting to die. I have a career but not much else going on. I hate my thoughts. I feel like absolutely nothing. I want to die. I think of my son and it stops me, but today I really can’t take it.

    • I came here simply to find a way to kill myself in the most painless way…
      I’ve done it all to help, but nothing works…
      Cutting myself help me deal with my depression…
      But it ends up hurting people…
      I just want to be gone…
      For good…

    • I found this by accident,
      looking for a way out.
      The words cheered me up a little.
      Then, saw your comment here.
      Hope you’re still around.
      Been really down lately, as well.
      Hope you pushed through it,
      Maybe you can tell the rest of us.

      I dream about someone I’ve never met..
      Used to be frequently,
      now it’s more like a day dream.

    • i am a stupid coward who has not the courage to commit suicide and my mind keeps changing from wanting to die and wanting to live i am very unstable despite of proper medical treatment.

    • In hindu religion we says any unfortunate bad comments on god Brahma, he self kills whole family,which I suffering this problem making me to suicide..bcoz of fear to lost…my family members..

    • Hi
      I’m really not sure what to say, but the words really hit home.. I’ve always ‘known’ I’d kill myself but now I’m not so sure… and yes I did get this website from trying to find out the easiest way to kill myself.. and I actually know the answer..

    • I feel completely lost and alone… Im so hurt and i just want to die. Nobody misses me while im alive so nobody would miss me if i were dead

    • I feel as though I can’t go on I’m sick of feeling depressed,my neighbor harrasses me all day I get no piece and quiet

    • I am not looking for a pain free end, as do not believe that is possible, What I am seeking, is a less messy ens, one inbwhich those left behind will not be concerned as to any physical discomfort or ‘mess’ I left behind
      I do know financially, my family shall be much better off, and that is all I have ever offerred – their safety and security

    • I’m not satisfied with my life. Sure my grades are above average and I have a lot of friends but there’s still this depressed side within me. I’ll turn 18 tomorrow and been thinking about killing myself in the recent weeks. A major factor that’s keeping me from doing so is my family that I don’t won’t to hurt once I’m gone.

    • How is everyone. I’m grateful this showed up. 24 year old female, recently kicked out of law school. Working at a job I hate. Barely managing endometriosis symptoms. Feeling alone and like a failure.

    • I am not saying, no one would be sorry at my death. It’s that, no one will be harmed, and the person I love would have peace. I won’t be around to bug. I don’t want to disturb, but I could not stop calling. I really want to die, but I could not make attempt. I don’t want a nasty way. It feels like an excuse of a coward. Every day I live, feels like a proof, that my love is not real. If I really loved I would get out of my beloved’s way forever. My appearance is a torture, as I am so unworthy of that person’s love, and so I am not loved.

    • Hi,

      Lately I have started hitting myself, and staring at knives. I feel alone, died inside. Thing is i”m not afraid to die. but I don’t know whats stopping me from running away or just going. I’m in year 6, and I don’t know what to do, but sit here and make my room flood with tears.

    • I don’t know what I’m supposed to say after going through the emotional doldrums that I’ve been through the past two years or so. Life has it’s happy moments and then when your time’s up, the so called destiny intervenes and then, your once happy & normal going life gets turned upside down. No counselling can heal you completely. It’s only you and the pain inside you.

    • I have been suffering depression for about 2 years, I was told I had PTSD. Living with this condition has made me feel on many occasions that life would be better off without me. I used to be a happy outgoing person with good work ethics, now I’m doubting myself and feel useless. I’m writing this as a way of coping and knowing other people are going through the same pain I am experiencing. It’s interesting before I had this illness I never believed in depression and I can understand why people think I’m fine when they see me but don’t know what is going on in my head.

    • I needed this…. I have tried, been to the hospital stomach pumped and suicide is not a way to go. I am in the darkest place where my grandpa has cancer, I am working a full time job, part time job, have depression the doctor won’t give me meds for, anxiety, and am being kicked out of my house in a few months…. if I can manage to not self harm again, you should know life will get better….. you are beautiful and loved even when you think you aren’t. It will get better.

    • I’ve been feeling like this for years the truth is I carnt remember what life felt like when I wasn’t low this has been on going for at least 8 years. 2 years ago one of my best friends decided to take his own life every day I wish I could of stopped it or been there more but o couldn’t things just get worse and worse I find I’ve worked all my life since I was 16 I turned 21 and thing just started going downhill very fast from then on. now I find my self homeless and still a head full of rubbish that I carnt deal with I’ve tried all sorts antidepressants they don’t work but I do feel i carnt continue with this much more.

    • I. Feel like dying this very minute. If it were for my 2yr old daughter I don’t think I’d even think twice about it. My only problem is, how long can I keep it up? With every second that passes it gets more n more difficult. I have tried everything, I’m failing. I’m burning my last oil. Its over for me

    • Hi there. I am there now from day to day. Can’t get out of bed, in so much pain that some days I feel it’s just not worth it anymore. No one would even know or care. It’s a horrible feeling this way but I started church and trying to get up and move!! The hole is real and the hopeless empty feeling are no joke. I hope you know there are others out there as well. Please feel you have ppl that love you.

    • are there any kind of support groups for this? in real life? like how they have AA for alcoholics and things of that nature.
      I am ashamed of how selfish and weak i feel, but i have been feeling this way for about 3 years now. Nothing helps; anti-depressants, drugs, alcohol, being around people, being alone. Nothing.
      I just wish that i could fix how i feel so i can be there for all of the people that i need to be there for… Which i am currently incapable of doing.

      If anyone knows anything of this, please let me know.

      • Yes many places have real life support groups similar to our online support forum. Call your county mental health services or moat and counseling group and ask them about what there are for groups in your area and they should be able to give you contact info.

    • I have always wanted to kill myself, my parents hate me. I think I wont and I will be ok for a little longer

    • I honestly just need to type this out. Ive messed up my life so bad. Ive done drugs, stolen, and not even have I thought twice of it. I feel so depressed. Its like my brain is telling me nobody likes me, and that killing myself will be the easiest way out. Ive got so much to lose. I though I had found the right girl, but she cheated on me right in front of me, and then said she was sorry, and it wouldnt happen again. I think its kinda messed up. I have fake people in my life. It sucks

    • i’ve read most of these comments and i know how most of you feel right now i hurt so bad i dont even want to wake up or move but i put on a fake smile everyday and walk around like everything is fine but it hurts so bad to know that no one cares if im gone or if im sad no one will talk to me about anything im just over it at this point

  • My father killed himself , reading this made me wonder if his death was immediate . I’ve always imagined it like a dramatic scene from a movie (admin edit – removed method) but in real life you don’t know exactly what your doing and you don’t always die right away and those few seconds can feel endless , which I never thought about till now…

    Also he did this almost 30 years ago it’s still causing me pain as well ..

    • as a mom who thinks of suicide all the time i can tell you the very last thing he wanted to do was cause you pain or have you still hurting 30 years in.. but to try to understand what goes on daily within someone like me you might understand more of how much he needed the pain to stop within our minds.. it’s a thought that moves over all the good things you think of..and you just “hear” it tell you just go already..just die… you just want the thoughts to stop already but they won’t.. you laugh one minute then that thought takes over.. you find yourself moving father away emotionally from others which makes you worse.. its a living prison in your own mind…………… no key, no way out, no one knows and thinks you can just shake it off.. you can’t.. so keep and smile at the good moments happy they are out of that horrible horrible ideas that run your life…………………..

      • Completely agree 100%. As a mom as well I don’t think about my children still hurting 30 years from now. I just want the pain to stop. The constant painful feeling of being trapped with the thoughts are just that … painful. I am sorry you are still hurting years from now and can only say your father did not do this to hurt you. He did this to stop the hurt for him. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I mean to my children. I know it sounds ridiculous, but so many thoughts of being replaceable will override everything.

        • I’m a mother as well, and tried to commit suicide twice over the past few months. I feel selfish about it but the need to kill myself was overriding.

          • I am hopeless, my husband is tired of the depression and so am I. IN March I tried to take my life I jave a psychiatrist and I pray and read my Bible every day. My weight increases everyday and my kids barely talk to me.

      • Im old and have no reason to go on , money is no problem , just cant do anything for fun or cant even change a light bulb in the top of room. what do you have left,?????????

        • wow thats so sad…must be something good you can do with your money before your time is up? I spent a lot of time in India helping street children…very rewarding but I guess if your health aint there then its going to be very hard for you as you need mobility Martyn from UK but now in Philippines

        • I am 66 yrs.old and live alone with my dog & a parrot .I understand how you feel .I really do as I have also thought about suicide. life seems pointless day after day is the same..You wake up and go thru the day the same as the day before. My kids are grown and live 200 plus miles away..You wonder what is the this my life? I don,t think I am quite ready to die although I have very little money and that is also part of the problem .Barely afford food. I hope things get better for you .I guess we are all driven by sadness and emotional pain. I just pray life will be better and pray for others too. God Bless

    • I am a father of two and married. I’ve done things in my life that I regret nothing terrible I didn’t rape or rob or kill just hurt people throughout the years that I shouldn’t have, I’m not a drug addict but I am an alcoholic not a severe one but I drink everyday and can’t get away from it and its slowly destroying my life much like it did to my father who committed suicide when I was 8. My children and my wife are better off without me I’m not a good father or husband and I never will be I’m programmed to inflict pain on people that’s how its always been. Right now the only thing stopping me from ending this nightmare is the financial instability my wife and kids would face alone, I’m trying to find a way that my death could bring them a big enough payout to make life better for theme. I was adopted by my grandparents and eventually found out my mother is my sister and she wanted to just give me away to anybody that would take me that hurts alot I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere I’ve never had a true best friend I’ve always been alone I’ve been suicidal since I was a kid even when my dad was alive, I knew something was different about me that nobody else could relate to or get close to which no one ever has. I’m 27 now and the pain the child felt has only gotten worse into adulthood I’m ready to die.

  • Im suffering grom fluoroquinolone toxicity (ciprofloxacin). The suffering this has caused is unrelenting and impossible to describe. My family does not want to talk about it, and there doesn’t appear to be anyone suffering this poisoning, who is my age, and still alive,to talk to. There is nothing but bleakness, pain, and loneliness every single day – there is no sleep, no hope, no me anymore. I want to die…I truly do.

    • Hi nanci, i want to say that i understand your suffering. I too suffer from fq toxicity. I have fear, depression, psychosis, anhedonia. IVe lost myself and my boyfriend to fqs. I hope you will get better, many do. But i also want to say i understand your pain.

      • I have several medical problems that have taken my entire life, independence, and as you so eloquently stated, “taken me” and im only 33, fake smiles and my give o shit meter quickly depleting. I know how hard it is and famly makes it harder it seems, for me at least, they are nurses so they have some clue in whats going on but only to the depth of how it affects them


    • I m in the middle of misery too. I feel u. It feels like there’s no way to solve anything. Feeling hopeless, down, blue is my only emotion now. Idk how to help but listen. I wish our situation would all b better at one point or another. Pray for u to b strong. If u or anyone need someone to talk to, u or anybody here can always reply me 🙂 ik how important it is now to have someone to at least listen

      • If anyone cant understand ur feeling ur emotion..and i have a stamaring problem and no one loves me.. just bcoz of all these things i lost my love my life forever….for last 8 months i am feeling soo muchhh pain i cant sleep i cant eat even i cant move my concentration to any other things..and fighting with myself.. sometime i decided to kill myself.. and i did this 4 days ago.. but by chance i am alive… and i still want to die.. i cant see anyway out. I really want to die…i loose hope.. my life became hell…i am in unbearable pain right now… what i do i dont know…only one way i can see just want to finish life…

    • I know exactly where you are coming from.I feel the same.This black cloud has descended and not moving away anymore..Here if you need a chat and a hug.

    • There is so rarely no other way left – it can be that there is no way it is possible for us to see right now because the pain is too overwhelming and it is impossible to see past it, but with support it is possible to find the other ways. I am sorry that you are hurting – talking to people can help to find ‘a way’ you didn’t believe was there.

      • On the contrary, some of us suffer from ailments that don’t respond to treatment. All I want to do is sleep and feel rested when I wake up. But after over 1000 days and blood tests, therapy, etc. it doesn’t look good.

        • Are you still there Rob?
          I hope so. I have had suicidal ideation for 3 years now, uncertain of survival despite ridiculous reasons

          • If anyone cant understand ur feeling ur emotion..and i have a stamaring problem and no one loves me.. just bcoz of all these things i lost my love my life forever….for last 12yrs i am feeling soo muchhh pain i cant sleep i cant eat even i cant move my concentration to any other things..and fighting with myself.. sometime i decided to kill myself.. and i did this 4 days ago.. but by chance i am alive… and i still want to die.. i cant see anyway out. I really want to die…i loose hope.. my life became hell…i am in unbearable pain right now… what i do i dont know…only one way i can see just want to finish life…

      • there is always another way, infinite possibilities, its the promise of poitive possibilities that arent gaurenteed

        • Pls, do not lose hope! I used to stammer God saw me through it and healed me. Live one day at a time. You are very precious to someone.

    • I just wanted to say something. To no-one in particular just to say something and I don’t know why. I am sorry for being ugly. It’s our dreams and hope that kills us in the end. I am so very sorry for not being good enough. I guess the only thing I am proud of is that I never made a sound never asked for help never bothered anyone. I feel embarrassed to say this but I would’ve given anything for someone to love me. I have been lonely most of my life and now I sit hour after hour going over and over in my head everything that’s wrong with me – ugly fat boring etc. I tried very hard even though I had no chance. I am nearly fifty now and when I look back at that young man and the pain and loneliness I feel how wicked it was and that I he should have died long ago. Why suffer so?

    • It is sometimes impossible – especially when we are in so much pain – to see what there is left to do. And even if we can see it, actually doing it seems like an impossible mountain to climb. You don’t have to figure out ‘what to do’ on your own though, and you don’t have to climb the mountain alone. There are ‘things to do’ and talking to people who have felt the same kind of hopelessness and found ways to improve things and come through it can help to figure out what those things are. Please don’t give up.

  • Que stupidity. I told both my mother and my best friend I cannot take it anymore and want to die.
    They both told me they cannot help me, and that they kind of expect me to take my life.

    I guess that’s support, in a way.

    • Actually not, it is not support in any way and I am sorry that happened to you. It is important, though, to get help and support from people who understand and who know (from having been there themselves) that things can and do improve with the right help – even though it is impossible to believe they might. I really hope you find some help.

      • Appreciate the concern; but I do not believe such people exist. Even the psychologist I see once a month does not seem to understand. If there is something truly shattering I discovered during my long illness it was that the people I always though would help me if I needed it will not. It is always along the lines of ‘when you are healthy, get back to us’.

        They expect me to handle it myself. Well, I cannot.

        • You should consider coming into the forum to talk to people. Most have shared your experience of getting little or no understanding and support from even close friends or family members – but find that other people that honestly have been or are still there and understand are able to talk about it and makes things a little less lonely in dealing with these issues at least.

  • Just feeling hopeless. Like life will only continue to be full of tragedy & pain, for myself & anyone else. With all the horrible things that happen daily in this world it’s hard to not have a cynical outlook. I just bought a bunch of dope planning to eat it all & go to bed forever; I’ll wait three days as i have an appointment w my psychiatrist on Friday, but my choice is more based on lack of motivation to continue life at this point. Why keep going if i don’t plan to bring w child into this god forsaken world, to be hurt & experience the same trauma as I have? But if I don’t succeed I definitely won’t want to live with brain damage. sincerely indecisive; I wish there was a fool proof way. Just in a bad place, need to talk to someone my therapist ideally: thank you for this forum.

    • I am sorry you feel so hopeless Tori. Did you join the forum? Come and talk to people. I am glad that you are going to wait and see your psychiatrist. The problem with depression is that it makes us feel unmotivated and have no interest. It makes it impossible to see a ‘why’. That doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Come and talk to us (if you haven’t already) – there are lots of whys and with the right treatment and support you can start to see them again. I’ve been there – I didn’t think there was a point or a reason either but it turned out I was wrong. Be safe!

  • Is someone out there? My life has been a mess. I’ve been married several times. I think I expect too much. I’m very giving, I give and give and give but I expect just some of the same. I’m a people pleaser then after I’ve given so much I eventually get frustrated when I’m taken for granted and am through with the marriage. Sometimes I wonder though if it’s just me being depressed looking for someone or something else to make me feel good again. I really don’t know. Just a couple of hours ago my wife asked me if I was happy with her. I’m really not so I told her so. It’s been a terrible evening with her yelling and putting words and thoughts in my mouth that I didn’t say. I really haven’t been happy for the last few years. I don’t intend to hurt her or anyone. I hadn’t seriously considered suicide for a few months since I saw a therapist and started talking medicine. However, I’m so tempted tonight I don’t like confrontation especially not with someone close to me. I feel like I may not be able to stand it. My therapist probably won’t return my call until Monday. I want a way out and to never be in this position again. Is anyone there?

    • I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. There are lots of people “out there” that you can talk to – you will get a greater response if you join our community and talk to someone in the chat room or on the forums though. I am sorry it took so long for me to see this message here (time zones). I understand absolutely how horrible confrontation can be, especially when the person is so important. I am glad that you have a therapist. If you do see this, and still need to talk, sign up to the forum. My user name is Freya – you can message me there and I will see it much faster than here. There are people to talk to – you don’t have to deal with this alone. Please be safe.

    • I am sorry I had to edit your comment – we don’t allow specific methods. I wanted to say, though, that I am sorry you feel in so much pain. Please call a crisis line and get some help. Then come and talk to us. We can’t fix your pain but we can listen. You are not alone – you do not have to do this alone. I hope that you are safe.

  • I always wanting to die. I already prepared it everywhere i go. But i’m afraid to take it, i’m afraid i’ll fail and people pitying me later. It’s scary how i would wake up and see fake smiles around me after my failed attempt of sucide. I really just don’t want to feel anything, because i don’t want to get hurt anymore.

  • I’ve had enough. My wife of 32 years died 7 weeks ago and things are getting worse. I just don’t see the point in anything any more. Sure I have children and you would think that the pain my death would cause them might make me think again but the truth is I don’t care. I just cannot go on like this anymore.

  • English is not my native language, but here I go. It’s the first time I “googled” about suicide, and found a lot of sites and read some posts. In my case I googled “statistically most effective suicide methods”. I have very easy access to [admin edit – method] so that kind of haunts me every time I’m depressed. I kind of promised myself I won’t end my life whilst my parents still live. But perhaps that’s only an excuse because I think I’m too much of a coward to go through with it; although I can’t bare the thought of my mother losing one of her sons (my father already passed away). Today was one of the “dark days”. Well, dark months really. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder… but I’m not sure that’s accurate. Anyway, I was reading some blogs and there was a phrase I wanted to share, perhaps a cliche: “suicide is a permanent solution to an often temporary problem”. This post also talked about some sort of 3-day rule: “Follow the three day rule. If you are ready to commit suicide, like really, really ready, wait three days, or better still a week, until you actually go through with it. If you are going to be dead for the rest of time, what’s another few days wait? It may be that in a few days your enthusiasm to go through with it might not be the same, which will suggest that maybe suicide is not the only answer, and possibly something could change in your life circumstances, or how you view/feel about your life, that will change your decision.” I’m off for a beer now.

  • So hard, I have beautiful children now adults. I’ve lived with depression, pain and disappointment my whole life. I’m on meds and have been for years. Alone, haven’t succeeded at anything, been used in abusive relationships. I can’t take the pain anymore. I’m blessed and should be grateful but instead I carry this cowardice secret and shameful misery of truly not wanting to live one more day. I desperately love my children but the pain inside has destroyed me. I want to end it.-help

    • I do hope you consider joining the forum. You might be surprised how much it can help having many people in similar situations that you can talk to in chat or message on the forums and that can share their methods of dealing with things to make life a little easier and better until it is not just always pain and sadness.

    • I think that looking for the “point” in life is a one way ticket to feeling like crap. I think that you decide what you want the point to be and work to make that reality. I know that doesn’t help when you’re in pain and want it to stop though – I am sorry that life keeps throwing painful things at you. It is hard to rebuild when you feel like everything is falling apart and everything you encounter is another source of pain, but hard is not impossible and life can. and does, get better – just you have to work for it. And sometimes that is impossible to do alone – that is why it helps to have support and people to talk to – new ideas and perspectives.

  • I’m tired. My life isn’t complicated. I have big problems for a person my age, but I still know that these problems are nothing compared to what other people are suffering. But I’M TIRED. I’ve wanted to kill myself for a couple of days now; I haven’t because I love my brother dearly and do not want him to go through that kind of pain. This thought has kept me through the nights so far, but I’M TIRED. I’m not afraid of killing myself, whether I am successful or not, I’m still willing to give it a shot. My brother will get hurt, but the pain WILL recede in a couple of years. The thing is: I know my reasons to die are not good enough, but neither are my reasons to live. As irrational as it might sound, what I’m looking for is a REALLY good reason to stay alive regardless of how bleak it is. If anyone bothers answering, could you tell me what reason you would give a person who knows exactly how much he is losing, but is just too tired to care?

    • Maybe you could join the forum and tell us a little bit about your problems and what is making you so tired? The problem with “reasons to live” is that we have to create our own – and if you are suffering from some kind of depression, that can be really difficult. Tell us about your big problems and what is going on for you and we can help you find your ‘reasons’ – and hopefully help you figure out how to feel less tired.

    • A friend of mine tried to kill herself a few times. When she told me about it she said, “I wasn’t thinking right about everything I’d leave behind – I didn’t care if I lost them, I just wanted the pain to end.” She was glad she didn’t because thinking about them now, she gets tears in her eyes, knowing she almost threw away the people and things that mean the most to her. I guess it’s one of those things, realizing when we are in that mindset and we’re tired of the pain and fighting, that it won’t be forever. And if you leave now, you leave behind your chance to be happy again. That keeps me going, when I think about her.

  • So much pain every time untreatable my medical problems plz help me for suicide. I am from delhi capital of india plz help me no option for me

  • Please do help me. It seems like there is no way to solve my problem.. Either Ive to kill the person who is causing me pain orelse ive to kill myself. Please.
    The one whom I was in a relation with 1year ago is mentally disturbing me so much. And now he insist me to be his slave like obeying all his rules orelse he would post everything in social media if I refuse to do the same.
    I feel like killing myself rather than being his slave.

    • You need to go to the police – this is illegal and needs to be reported. You don’t need to kill anyone – him or you – but you do need to get help. Go to the police and report the problem. If he is an ex then presumably you don’t live with him anymore so you can get a court order to stop him from contacting you in any way. I don’t know what you mean by “everything” when you say he will post everything in Social Media – but definitely a couple of maybe Facebook posts are not worth anyone dying over. Contact the police and take control back of your life.

    • Talk – talk to people and explain the situation – an outside perspective (or twenty) can help us see ways forward we didn’t think existed. Join the forum and talk to us – tell us what the problem is and let us help you figure out what to do.

  • I’ve been in pains for 4years now. I pray and also went to different doctors seeking for help but I don’t get help .I’m only 17years.I don’t think I deserve to live this life of sufferings.

  • I’m so far in dept, I see no way out. I used to be somebody. Traveled the world engineering electrical systems. Now I’m nobody. Own too much. I’m sorry for the people in pain but it sucks to be me. I don’t want to be homeless!

    • You’re not nobody. Being in debt does not cancel out who you are, what you have done or what you are capable of doing in the future. You need to call a debt line and get some advice. If you have a mortgage then yes, you may lose your house – but far better to deal with it yourself than have your choices taken away. Take control and get some help – nobody can take what you don’t have and there are laws and processes in place to help you – use them. You are not nobody and you don’t have to be homeless. There is a way out of this.

  • There is nothing but bleakness, pain, and loneliness every single day – there is no sleep, no hope, no me anymore. I want to die…I truly do.

  • I feel lost. I’m the only one I have. My parents don’t understand me. I’ve been getting bad thoughts and I swear I cannot share it with anyone but here. I help everyone and I try to make friends but people at my college hate me,they hate me a lot. I get cyber-bullied. They send me hate and what not. How can you hate someone so much without even getting to know them? I’d never do that to anyone tbh. I’ve got low self esteem and people criticising me makes it worse, I mean you’re not supposed to judge anyone because you don’t know what crisis they’re going through. Besides all this, I’ve got just too many complications in my life. I want to end my life. I don’t want to exist but I don’t want to hurt my parents. Even though they’re the reason I get such thoughts, I want to live for them. But sometimes I think, they’ll just forget about it right? Just a matter of few months. I’m sorry mom and dad for letting you down, I don’t mean it but I love you both too much. I don’t even know why I’m saying all this I just wanted to take it off of my chest. I used to self harm, I still get the urge to but I’ve promised a friend. I love my mom too much. I cannot leave her but maybe I was born for this? If I’d take this step my family would be so good financially. I’m just wasting their time and money. I hate it. I’m a waste of space. I keep everything to myself. I hate to see my mom cry because of me. I failed. I failed in life. I failed to be a good daughter. I failed at being a friend. I’m a failure. The darkness creeps me. It’s taking away my interests and my education. I swear I want to be successful in life but I just can’t and I don’t know why. Just a gist,there’s more to it. I might as well take my life and end the pain forever.

    • “Don’t know what to do” doesn’t make death the best choice- is counter intuitive to “don’t know what to do”. What you do is get help in sorting life out because you deserve it- everybody does.

  • I need help . I don’t know what else to do . I don’t like to talk out my problems because they’re big to me ,but small to others . I’m tired . I’m only alive because u don’t want to hurt my grandmother who I love so deeply . In and out of doctors , infertility , feeling lost , feeling lonely when there’s so many people around , pretending to be happy when I’m not . I’m just tired of it all .

    • Your problems are not small to us. If they are making you feel awful, they matter. You mater. Come and talk to us – you don’t have to pretend to be happy. You don’t have to pretend anything.

  • I don’t know how long I can put up with everything this life has thrown at me. I’m so sick and tired of trying to please everyone when inside I’m crying. Tried to talk to my wife about how I feel but I couldn’t explain it all. I just worry that these thoughts are getting stronger and one day I won’t talk myself out of it. Everyday I wake up and think today is the day I kill myself and everyday I talk myself out of it but I know I can’t go on like this. People ask how are you but they really don’t want to know the truthful answer, so I just give the standard reply of I’m fine but I’d love someone to talk to.

    • I am sorry that your life is so sad that you want to die. I know how that feels and I would not wish it on anyone. Please come to the forum and talk to us. Tell us why your life is sad and what is going on for you. Talk to us.
      Take care and stay safe,

  • I’ve lived with this for as long as I can remember. Worthlessness, feeling lost and unlovable.
    I’m 33 and my life has no direction. My relationships don’t work out. I don’t know what to do I feel like if I just end it all then it’s better for everyone.

  • I am 35 years old and just got married not to long ago. my whole life is a lie. I have never succeeded at anything. I went to college but my long term memory never kicked in. My grades were excellent but I never learned a damn thing. I have never had a good job. Everytime I interview I never get the position. My family dislikes me, rightly so. I physically and verbally attack my husband. i have felt for years that my life is one huge colossal mistake. My job is a joke, My money management skills leave much to be desired. I’m a piece of shit. My parents came here from a foreign country and all I have ever done is shame them. I started running away at a early age. I just want my life to end, tired of living….. i need it to end…sooon. When you wake up and realize that you should have been aborted and every day you want a way out. I have been depressed since 5th grade. I dont want your sympathy…i was raped in highschool….when i was younger a older kid tried to molest me. the only thing that stopped him is his older sister popped up out of nowhere. THe things he did do my mind blocked out for years. I didnt even remember it ever happening until i saw him.. and then I remembered everything. It happend when i was 9 years old. it sounds retarded to me…why would my mind block that out. i was bullied for years, i havent loved myself since the 5th grade. I have lived a very troubled life. Maybe its time everyone gave up on me because … just not worth it.

  • My life take twisting turns daily. Sometimes i am happy and don’t want to leave my husband and two little kids aged 5 and 1+. But things affects me so much that my self-confidences reduces to such an extent, that i feel like dying. I think i am moving towards depression phase. Can anyone guide me how to ignore things around me and stay happier. My husband is supportive but many times he is unpredictable. The only concern of my family members is to look after my husband. No other member is given importance like him. I feel ignored and heartless because no one appreciate my work and acccording to me, has least love for me.

  • I have been suicidal for a fair few years now. I hate myself, I hate my life. I just cannot see a future for me and if I do it’s not gonna be a pleasent one. Im depressed, I’m moody, I have no motivation in life and I’m not a nice person to be around, I’m in so much debt, I am 31 yrs old still living with my parents, I’m unemployed, unlicensed and I just can’t see it getting any better.. I have an amazing 2 yr old daughter whom I love and adore and I’m 100% sure if it wasn’t for her id be gone already.. It’s so hard cause I really don’t wanna live anymore but I don’t want my daughter growing up resenting me for being selfish and killing myself. But on the other hand I cannot see my life getting any better and u Think maybe my lil girl would be better off without me as I’m a massive disappointment and waste of space.. So confused

    • But your daughter needs you. You’re her father and it will be hard to move on without a parent truly of course you care about her you think about her you’re still here because of her. Don’t hate yourself. You only have one life to live and you can’t waste this one. Not everything will be bad. See how it goes. See your daughter graduate. 🙂 work your way up through debt. But let me tell you that your daughter needs you. You are not a waste of space. Fight for her

  • I am looking for a painless & indirect way to die
    I think that the death is award for me , another life , tranquility , peace , without lies or pain. My religion prevents thinking of killing oneself , but I tried to take the medicines , but without the benefit did not change anything.
    Sometimes feel I can continue this life, but soon this feeling disappears , I tried once 7 years to commit suicide since it fails, I fear that the most successful now is not the fear of death , but the fear of God , I’m afraid that does not like me and forgive me, what should I do ?!!
    I can’t talk with any one about my suicidal ideation

  • I just want all the pain to go away but it doesn’t and I hate life. I can’t be positive anymore and people around me are of no help & my problems aggravated by my panic attacks . I just want it all to go away & I have no plausible solutions & the only thing that stops me is how my son will survive without me……

  • I did not read the whole thing I barely read any of the comments I read very very little I know that if I died people would be devastated I’m selfish because I don’t want to make them feel bad at all I just want the attention I’m just having doubts I’m a horrible lying attention hog one day I’ll hate myself one day I won’t I’m just confused I feel like people are having worse lives than me which they are and it makes Me feel guilty because then I’m doing all this for attention and I just can’t I’m tired

    • You may think that. But you have us. We need you on this Earth and I’d be so upset if you took your own life. Everyone us entitled to happiness and I want you to be okay 🙂 the people on here want you to be happy and you can get there. You may not think so now, but with help (and most importantly you) you can definitely be happy. Life will have ups and downs, but we are here for you 🙂 it is very sad you want to die. Really nobody should feel this way.. Nobody besides Hitler and serial killers
      🙂 I hope you feel better. You will feel better

    • And it could be your perspective.. Trust me, I’ve been there. But there are people that love you. You are just having a very hard time. But I’m here for you, okay? Stay alive, what Twenty One Pilots always says |-/ 🙂 we need you. I need you. Stay safe, dear. I would be upset if you took your own life. Very. And I mean that.

    • If you met me you would know someone cares. I like talking to everyone. I’m on this forum because of curiosity but after reading so many of these stories I am sad for all of these people. My wife died 3 months ago from leukemia and she gave me a beautiful baby girl named Leah. My wife was 21 and I’m 23. I miss her so much. But I am happy everyday and I will not let depression set in. And yes a long time ago I wanted to kill myself. Am willing to talk.

  • Gotten to the point where my life
    No longer matters. Everyone in my life has turned on me and after 3 years in Afghanistan I think I am done.

  • The love of my life cheated on me, I forgave her. But now she no longer loves me, I honestly just can’t stand to live without her and I don’t know what to do, the pain I’m feeling is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, I genuinely feel trapped inside my own thoughts of her everyday and I just want it to stop, I have always been the fat kid but she gave me a light and she always loved me tenderly. she is so special to me and the only reason I haven’t already taken my life is because I know that it would make her sad. But the pain I feel, I fear is starting to outweigh my will to live. My life sucks anyways without her. Call me stupid for feeling this way over a girl like everyone else, by the time someone sees this I’ll probably be dead anyways I’m not living with this pain for years on like some of you have.

  • My name is not important. I have felt alone all my life, in high school i had little to no friends. When i was 12 i became sick, and fell into a coma for three mounths. When i awoke i did not know who, where, when, or what i was. I had lost all of my memory, i had to learn to eat, walk, talk, ect. All over again. I basicaly had to start over. My family was there to help me, but i felt that they had to help me, not because they wanted too. There have been several life events in my life that have shaped me after that event, and before it too. Anyway i have lost who i was and now im going to college to become an artist. I thought i was skilled in art but i found that i am a child compared to literally anyone else at the school. Now im 22 with no job, a mound of debt and no motivation in life. I have never found love, or felt it. I have no friends and i live with my mom, because my dad is an asshole. Besides that last point, i feel empty inside like a void or a endless pit. I feel like i have no perpopse in life and i will never find it. All i do is play video games and look for jobs, but never find any. What can i do when life gives me no room to improve? I am a shy, awkward, guy who does nothing with my life. All i do is waste time, money, and effort people put into me. Now tell me. What can i do?

    • Hi Dan
      I think that’s great that you went to art school. No1. Never compare yourself to anyone else. Art is personal and what one sees in something another sees in something else, do not value yourself based on other people. Also it’s really tough to get a job these days and I think there is a lot of pressure on youngsters in this climate. When I was in my early twenties I volunteered in this garden place, which sounds dull but I loved it.mi was outside, and it gave me a purpose. You don’t need an income to have purpose. Volunteer is a good way to start in what is meaningful to you. It’s crappy not working. I hope things get better for you

    • Also Dan that sounds like a monumental task to deal with. I hope you are getting the necessary psychological support.

    • hi …… caroline don’t do the same mistake which your sister did, take life positively I pray to god that all good things should happen to u ………… believe in god.

  • It’s a possibility I may have cancer. I’m terrified and don’t want to die from that pain. My stupid state doesn’t even offer the Doctor Assisted Suicide method which means i’m going to suffer terribly. I found this site but honestly didn’t make me feel better considering most of these people seem like that problems are “temporarily.” I don’t know maybe that’s me being selfish. I guess I think cancer is like the worse news in the world. To know that you don’t have much time to live. I’m really considering an easier method and I already know doctors won’t have a solution I like.

    • There are many here, myself included with chronic illnesses and terminal illnesses- probably in the 20% or more of total at least chronic physical illness , slightly lower with terminal. Cancer- which you may or may not have apparently can be both or can be neither- a fair percentage is treated and 12 months later all is fine. Some is terminal like the illnesses others here have. I am unsure why dr assisted suicide becomes an issue for you about the cancer you may or may not even have which implies the symptoms are not overwhelming yet- so what you are actually saying is you want the right to suicide based on fear. I personally think that would be a poor public health choice – to have suicide based on fear that you may have cancer, the cancer may not respond to treatment, and that the end result is slow painful death. So anybody scared of getting older or having a panic attack should be able to have assisted suicide based on the thinking in those few days of fear waiting for diagnostic testing and results??

      Not at all saying that cancer death is anything but terrifying- have seen it and sat with my mother and my mother in law to the bitter end until one died in hospital bed after weeks and one at home in hospice care- so is not at all that i am not understanding your point. But you are making the point to try to talk about dr assisted suicide and equate it to what is talked about and done here- and more importantly stretching the point to a ridiculous amount by applying it to something you don’t even know if you have and that is your basis of wanting the right to commit suicide- because you are scared. Sorry- your point is completely lost and irrelevant in this context.You might want to consider treartment for anxiety however as that is something that you most certainly have an issue with.

  • I am so tired.
    All my life I have been low-level depressed. Two adult sons, an ex-wife; I had a lucrative career until I was fired, now eating up my retirement funds. I used to stay in the finest hotels, fly first class around the world, but all that is gone.
    Nor is that important. Depression is not brought about by external circumstances. Not in my case. It’s a physical, biological malfunction.
    Now, I am in the middle of a very severe depression. Can’t get out of bed. Life is a failure. Nothing to look forward to. Alone. Seeing a psychiatrist: isn’t helping. Meds: not helping.
    I know. I can wait. I know. This episode, where I cannot get out of bed and even my cats go hungry because it’s such an effort to feed them, may pass. But meanwhile the pain is unbearable. If I wasn’t here anymore, there would be no more pain.
    I really don’t know how much more I can take. If there was a magic pill to end it all reliably and painlessly, I’d take that pill. This is hell on earth.
    I know you understand. No one else does. “Just get out”, they say. “Cheer up. Go do something fun”. Yeah right. If I could, I would. I wish I could share this, but as I said, those who have not had clinical depression just don’t get it at all.

  • I’ve been suicidal for 3 years now. Made multiple attempts on my life. Most ended in convulsions,vomiting, headaches and stabbing abdominal pains.

    My family aren’t supportive, in fact they generally find any motive they can to verbally abuse me or engage in soap opera arguments.

    I just want a simpler existence and this pain to end. I just can’t break the cycle and it gets too much, they still don’t believe that I was drugged and sexually abused by a group of men during university which is why my education crumbled.

    My social spectrum has fallen apart. I constantly feel separate and out of place in this world. As I stated I feel like a stranger in my own family, I’ve had counselling before but it didn’t do much good, just felt like empty platitude after empty platitude.

    I honestly feel like I’m coming to my end.

    • if therapy was platitudes that it must have been psyche counseling or “talk therapy” – the therapy that is most effective by far is CBT aand /or (depending on the actual issues) DBT which are both structured programs focused on you and how you process things , not talking about your past and that stuff. It sounds like no professional help/ doing it all on your own without even family support is not working out at all- I would really suggest trying to get real help/ real therapy/ perhaps meds if were recommended by a professional. By the sounds could not be worse and is certainly worth a try at this point.

      • My family have threatened to lie to institutionalize me in the past. Despite the fact ive came from a physically and verbally abusive family they can still paint me out like the bad guy all the time. My mental resilience has just faded over the years and I cant deal with it anymore.

        I dont want to go through therapy again and just revert it all back to square one again with regressing back to suicidal tedencies. I just want to die and see my grandad and dog again, but i cant do it until my grandmother passes away. I couldnt do that to her, it would probably kill her and id never forgive myself.

  • And why does society care? i *have* to suffer this pain? Why? What do y’all care?please. Give me a painless pill and let the pain be over. Wtf do you insist that I suffer this pain for longer for?