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depression

  1. Jgrabc

    19yr marriage. 17yr desire problem

    Very short abbreviation of what is happening. My wife and I are best friends. Love each other. Everything is almost perfect except for physical intimacy... Brief history.. Year 94-97 - First bout of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) for me, I recover. Year 96-2003 - In college and after, lots...
  2. GreenLightFreefall

    Just an update

    I feel im falling deeper and deeper into this pit of despair. I feel hopeless. I feel as if this is really the only place someone actually cares and listens to what i say and it all hurts. I find myself falling asleep more often and waking up at random hours to find myself unable to fall back...
  3. Suicide Goddess

    Don't want to be here anymore

    I am tired of suffering. I am tired of the abuse. I just want to be free, even if it means a different sphere.
  4. Velveteen Bunny

    Compassion Fatigue

    I moved about five years ago to live with my aging mother. I knew she would need my help as she was already showing signs of needing help, back then. It was a good thing for both of us. I lost my house to foreclosure (I have C-PTSD, and losing my lovely little house that was all mine, and...
  5. gray_now

    Just really really depressed

    I just feel impossible sad. I know what I want in life but I just don’t think it’s ever going to happen. All my family ever says is that I’m stupid and a loser. My brother makes fun of me because I didn’t go to college, even though I tried to and all people did was make feel like sh*t for even...
  6. gray_now

    Lifeline

    Hi :) I had this idea and I thought it might be nice to try it out. Okay, how lifeline works is that you send a message to the last person to post in the thread (the post can be about how your feeling) so that you can check on them and make sure that they’re not doing anything harmful. The...
  7. Arwen

    My shrink has very stylish shoes - A poem/writing I wrote when I was really depressed...

    My shrink has very stylish shoes. Sometimes black, Some times mauve. But always neat dainty and shined. I watch them as they bounce up and down when she listens to me talk. My eyes are torn between staring at her shoes and the button on the sleeve of my shirt which I am twisting. It's like...
  8. N

    In case I don’t see you

    In case I don’t see you When my eyes are clouded over And when I’ve become one with the earth When I’m all just a memory Do not grip upon the past Nor the burden of remembering it Look forward as I once could And see what I did not /////// Sometimes, in my moments of despair, I find inspiration...
  9. Soda-Voxel

    I wish I could just be numb

    I'm so tired of feeling things. Constantly never meeting my own expectations, always failing, feeling sad for either no reason or over something obscure that doesn't matter, always being envious and jealous of everyone and everything, ruining everything for everyone...hell, even feeling happy...
  10. Insecuritykills

    Practical Advice Getting over it or...?

    I'm back again after a while, hi i hope everyone's doing well, I'll try to summarize my situation and please help me if you been in similar situation or if you have an idea, cuz I'm kind desperate... This is about a relationship I've been in for the past year, I met a girl back in Dec 2019...
  11. Arwen

    LIFE GETS SO MUCH BETTER

    Dear depressed humans on this site, I just wanted to share an update in my life. I first created my account on SF about over 4 years ago when I was severely depressed and close to suicide. I was overwhelmed by everything, and everyone, and particularly hated myself. I had completely forgotten...
  12. Dante

    Where do you find the will?

    I have been deteriorating lately, I have kept my tendency to depression in check for a while, not really free of it, but under control, but too much isolation, monster commute, lack of sleep, stress, etc is making me spiral a bit, and I am officially out of any real motivation. I know I will...
  13. Dante

    "The lights went out."

    I have been a little depressed recently (mild clinical depression, unpleasant but mostly manageable) and in the evenings when I run out of distractions, my mind keeps drifting more and more to thoughts of suicide and self harm, they are intrusive thoughts, not something I have any intention of...
  14. Dante

    I swear I used to be smarter.

    I was a very smart kid, I got good grades without studying, without trying, I picked up skills easily enough, at 17 I opened my text book for the first time the night before the exam, and I passed that exam easily enough, then I got to university, I studied Maths and Programming, and in my first...
  15. Dante

    The Theory of Depressive Realism

    The theory of Depressive Realism states that people who are depressed have been shown to make more realistic inferences with available data, and it is the normal people who are actually putting a positive bias on their interpretations of data. Basically, this suggests that depression gives you a...
  16. alixer

    What animal suicide says about us

    I’ve been trying very hard to understand why life is so unpalatable. The question of whether animals commit suicide is ageless, and the verdict seems to be still out. What is not easily debated is to the extent which displeasure plagues humanity, despite how much easier it is for us to fullfill...
  17. Dante

    Always nagging

    I've been OK now for a while, functional, happy enough considering circumstances, but, as I've said before on here, occasionally it feels like the "OK" me is just an act, or a mask which slips occasionally and underneath it I'm still as broken and desperate and empty as I was at the worst of it...
  18. Soda-Voxel

    I'll never be good enough.

    No matter how many people compliment me or my work, or tell me I matter or have skill in something. I'll never believe it. I'll never be good enough for myself. I can't draw well or write well. The characters I make and the ideas I have are all awful, all I do is just copy ideas from other...
  19. Sewicide

    Empathy Only I look up at the clear blue sky and I wonder if I can fly

    I haven’t sat down to look at the sky in a very long time. It reminded me tonight that I am alive. But I don’t remember what *alive* feels like. Do you? I look up and think about how I could climb up a tall roof and take one step... maybe I wouldn’t fall. Maybe I could join the birds. Who...
  20. alixer

    Is sadness from depression real or just chemical?

    Is sadness caused by clinical depression real or a chemical illusion? Do we know if chemicals can right the ship or do we have to work through the sadness? Sometimes it feels like a house filled with smoke and mirrors.
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