memories

A "People Watching" Thread by Dante, and mercifully proof-read by Auri. I was chatting to Auri about the TV show she ditched me for two and a half hours to watch when she suggested that the fact that she had to ditch me to watch it is perhaps the point. Before you think harshly, it is actually...

My both grandfathers have been long dead before I was born. I’ve never met them. There was, instead, my mother’s uncle. He was married with my mom’s mother. He has been like a grandfather to me ever since then. Me and my siblings spent so much time with him and my grandmother in my childhood...

Why did my brain choose March to suddenly start remember all this stuff that happened years ago. Why now? Why did memories have to come back and interrupt and mess up my life. I want it to be what it was. I hate what it is now.

Why do they keep coming back. I do not want to remember more. I hate the sensation of wanting to flee yet being frozen at the same time. They are making me anxious and making me want to self harm.

I want the pain to stop. It hurts so much. I want the memories to stop. I don't want to keep remembering the insults said at me and being scared as a little girl. I don't want to remember being threatened and being scared she might kill me. I don't want to remember being in the park and...

So I told my mom that I had been feeling anxious this past year and had talked to a doctor. Then I told her that I went to a school counsellor and that memories started coming back. I told her that I think a man touched me when I was like maybe 3-4. So what does she tell me, well all students...

I tend to distract, but I was wondering if any one else has any coping tips?