1 step forward 2 steps back

[John6491]

I hate getting better and worse thats all that happens to me. I will feel fine then next thing you know im thinking of killing myself.....
Why should i stay here anymore..... if im such a failure i should leave and stop making people have to fix my failures or feel disappointed in me after i fail....
I hate failing so much i want to end it now so i never have to go thru this anymore..... i know it will hurt others around them but at least i dont have them disappointed in me 24/7.........
I have failed so much in the past day...... i overdosed and passed out, i couldn't stop cutting and i failed in school......im so sick of it i want it to end here....now....forever.....

 

[Jodi]

John6491,

John I hear your pain hun, and Im so sorry your struggling so much and that you are going through so much right now. I really do hope you give some thought to what we talked about and get in touch with someone, (that teacher sounds great), and I will help you write that letter if you need it. Also I hope you look into some support groups that we discussed and if you need help in finding them, just drop me a PM and together we'll find some for you....I know right now things feel hopeless, and you feel that you have dissapointed everyone, but you are so young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, few more years you can move on, go to college maybe, join the service and see the world, whatever you want to do.....stay strong my friend...and if you ever wanna chat dont hesitate to drop me a PM...I enjoyed talking with you tonight and look forward to getting to know you better....will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.....-Jodi