I take one tiny step forward and get kicked back ten. This happens far 2 regularly for it to be mere coincidence, 2 much like clockwork. God forbid something good should happen Becos that means total catastrophe will follow! Yesterday was a perfect example. I woke up feeling pretty ok actually. Then a neighbour brought me a late christmas gift . . . All good stuff. Then. . . BAM!! last nite something really bad happened! In april my daughter and her hubby invited me on holiday with them, all expenses paid. I worked and worked all year at getting out long enough 2 get there. Might have done it too but, what do you know, a couple of days before, my dog came down with meningitis! He nearly died. I didnt even know dogs could get meningitis. Do you see where i'm going with this? My belief is that my destiny is 2 kill myself. . I AM predestined 2 kill myself. When i forget this for even a moment or, begin 2 change my mind. . . . WHACK!! Fate slaps me back on track in an instant just 2 make me do it.