1 week to change my life or end it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vivaldi, Mar 24, 2009.

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  1. vivaldi

    vivaldi New Member

    Hello, I'm nearly 20, my birthday will be soon, but I wrote different date in my registration form, because I want to be anonymus as I can.
    Right now I'm in one of the biggest cities in the world, and maybe not in the biggest trouble but my circumstances do not have any other route.

    Actually problem is that I don't have any food, money, opportunity to work, and I live on "birds rights".

    I've alrady made a decision to kill my self because even if I will survive I understand that I wount be able to provide good life for my children, if I will have any. My girlfriend is really beautiful and she is catwalk model, my parents are sucessful people. But few years ago I decided to build my life on my own and to move to different country.

    These days my parents have huge problems with money, because of crisis and they going to devorce, they think that everything is fine with me, because I telling them that way. I just can't tell to my parents that I have problems like that, I dont want them to send me money because they need to feed themselves and my small sister. Even for the last month I broke all contacts with them.

    As I love my girlfriend very much I decided to tell her that we can't be together any more, I understand that it will be very painfull for her, but at least less painful if she will know that I'm dead, and I want to secure her from any damage that she would do to herself after that. (She is 2000 miles away so there is very little possibility that she will know.. and my parents also. I have planned everything alrady.)

    I have small question about pills that I have at the moment. Is it possible to kill myself with "iboprofenum"? I just have alot of these pills and I made a reaserch on them, it states that overdose will lead to coma, but nothing is written about death. I will do everything silently, there will be very small chance to know who I am because I'm going to destroy all my belongings like passport, cards etc. Nobody will find my body at least for few days.
    Please recommend something that will make me uncontious instantly, and after will make the rest. I will try to find it somehow.

    P.s. All I want to say is that I'm very serious I've alrady made a dicision that i will commit a suicide if I wount be able to change my situation (I really trying to change it). I'm not fat or ugly men that sitting in front of laptop every day/evening/night and writing this just to hear that life is beautiful and I don't need to do that.
    And sorry for my english, it's not my first language..
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Thinks can get better, and they often do.

    And yes that can kill you. However, it would be a very slow and painful death as your livers shut down from them being damaged by it.
  3. Louis

    Louis New Member

    Okay, i dont know if you'll read this but this is my mentality. You will miss out on so so much in life. Yeah your life may be shitty right now, bit there is so much you haven't done. Have you hiked up a mountain in BC? Have you visited another country? Have you gone to a warm wavy beach? What if your favourite musician releases a new album and its incredible? (seriously one CD can change your life) If social life is terrible, if you feel you're going nowhere in life, think about all of what you CAN do. 1 week is too short to decide. Try 1 year.

    (I know Im a suicidal hypocrite but give this a thought.)
  4. Louis

    Louis New Member

    I know every response might sound like preachy bullshit but give it an unbiased thought. everyone secretly hopes things will get better and they CAN
  5. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    You wont find ways of committing suicide here, as it is a pro life site, and the people here can only help you through this situation by being there for you and offering you someone to talk to when your feeling so low.

    I hope you do change your mind and stay with us, we can try help you feel better and give you advice on what to do. :hug: There is always someone around to talk if your feeling lonely and desperate, you just have to shout out and ask for it. :smile:
  6. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    i am sorry for the painful position you are in.

    as someone mentioned, s.f. is a pro life site. and we don't talk methods here, but we are totally accepting and non-judgmental.
    i have found a lot of support here and i hope you do, as well.

    life can be shitty and it can also, be beautiful . often we have to hold on through the pain so that we can come to a different place. . .
    i hope you stay here and lean on us until you are in a stronger and better place.

    i care about you - we all do. . xx
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with the others that you should stay with us and let us help support you..I was suicidal when I found the forum and it saved my life..People here really care..Theres no bullshit here, we honestly would like to help you work thru your problems...
  8. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    methods are not allowed on here

    But be aware that when you od, you might not die, suffer alot, and have damage for the rest of your life..

    killing yourself is not the answer..
    and you know that
  9. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    by reaching out you've taken the step, maybe without not realising it, to asking for help.. to wanting to stay alive as it were

    we cant help you with how you can but we can give you the support you need to talk things through. a lot of us here were suicidal when we originally came to the forum and so completly understand how your feeling but just having the help and support of the forum has pulled us back
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello vivaldi,

    Welcome to sf :)

    We cannot discuss methods here.
    Maybe search for things to help you feel better,instead of looking for ways to die ?:sad:

    I know life can be so tough at time,but with some support,you can get through it. How are you feeling today?
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