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xTheBlondex

Well-Known Member
#21
I don't wanna go I just wanna sit here & even if I don't die I know that the pain from the paracetemols tomorrow is gona be unbearable and I'm looking foward to it. The same reason I had the peircings because instead of taking a knife and cutting my wrists so that i'd draw attention to myself I had peircings and a tattoo just so I could feel some kind of pain.
 

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#22
I do care, like 'scum' says (by the way 'scum', i put your name like that, because i don't think you are scum :hug: )

To be honest your mum sounds a bit like my mum, although the reason why is different.

My dad had an affair on and off, since before i was born.. it came out in the open just over a year ago. My mum took it bad (understandably) but she failed, and still does fail, to see how the whole affair affects me. If i try to talk to her about my feelings, she somehow manages to turn it around to all be about her. I've given up trying now.. it's just not worth it.

I know our situations are different.. and you may be wondering why i've shared a bit of my story with you.. but i'm trying to say that life does go on. And i'm not trying to sound insensitive. I do realise the immense amount of pain you must be in right now. Sure i could kill myself to get my mum to listen to me.. but what would the point in that be? It seems that both of our mums are so wrapped up in their own pain that they fail to see there are others who are hurting just as badly.

Our mum's won't or can't listen to our pain right now, but others will listen. People on this forum, for example. Counsellors, your doctor, friends. I know that it may not be the same as having your mum listen and show support, but it is more than possible to survive with other support around you. Please, get yourself a good counsellor.. i've got one and it's a saviour having one hour a week where i can spill my heart out and not be judged or made to feel guilty.

:rose:
 

bunny

Staff Alumni
#23
you dont deserve to be in pain hun, i know feeling pain sometimes can make things feel better but it wont get you any where, i know the hospital your likely to go to (by your location in your profile) ive been there and the staff there are very good and understanding
 

xTheBlondex

Well-Known Member
#24
I can understand why you shared that with me I think my mum would be like yours if that happened to her to.

I just dont understand why (I seem 2 be asking alot of questions 2day) and even if I can't talk to her and she doesn't wanna hear why does she constantly tell me how shes feeling ect its getting to me

& thank you for replying btw x
 

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#25
It's ok to ask questions.. I'm afraid i dont know why your mum keeps telling you her problems. My mum insisted on doing that to me too.. a lot. In the end I told her i didn't really want to know such things.. but it took me a lot of time and courage to tell her that.

What hurts me a lot too, is that i thought parents were the ones who were to look out for their children. Yes it's understandable that to a certain extent the children will look out for and protect their parents.. but it shouldn't be constant. I have no doubt that your mum is going through utter hell right now... but she should think about what you're going through too. In my humble opinion, she really needs to get a counsellor for her to work through her own problems with.. it's not your job to provide her with free, personal therapy.

Is it helping any to talk here? I'm glad you found the forum :)

:hug:
 

kath

Well-Known Member
#27
im glad yolur feeling more relaxed!!!STill worried though and sorry yolur in such despair.

The people here do care.Many of them.They have helped me a great deal,trust me on that one!

i care and i am here for you.

Take care
kath
 

xTheBlondex

Well-Known Member
#28
:sf:
thank you so much
Im glad that I've found so many people to talk to that understand and care but don't judge or tell me what 2 do I really appreciate it x
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#29
Sorry I disappeared honey

I do care, I'm glad you are feeling better. Do you think maybe now you could get yourself some help? Even if it is just going to the doctor tomorrow and saying what you did?

If you ever need to chat then feel free to pm me


(and jenny, sorry to put words in your mouth but I am glad that I said something that was true :) )
 

Esmeralda

Well-Known Member
#30
Hi. My Dad died when I was 16 and my Mom did many of the same things you are talking about. She was so depressed and didn't seem to understand my loss. I was sooooooo sad for such a long time. After 6 months she remarried (to my Dad's brother) and moved. I refused to go with them and lived in my car/at friends' houses, etc. for 3 months before I was forced by circumstance to go along to live with my Mom. I tried self-harm and drank a lot. I didn't take good care of myself at all. My mother was into this new-agey therapist who told her that she just needed to make herself happy and then we would be happy. What a load of shit.

I'm telling you this because now, I am doing very well. My Mom and I are getting along great and I have pulled out of my depression. I just want you to know that it is possible to feel better, even if you can't see it right now. Your Mom is also going through a lot and it is probably hard for her to see your pain through her own. Shit, my Mom didn't get out of bed for weeks. Try to hold on to your relationship with her and know that she will come back to you eventually. It is so hard to deal with the death of a father. Mine was my best friend. But it can be done, and you can be happy again if you just hang on and don't do anything drastic.

I have been through this, so PM me if you need a chat.

Take care.
 
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