10+ years of trying to find happiness and peace. I am exhausted.........

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by duke_winchester, Sep 10, 2013.

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  1. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    I have struggled with depression for over 10 years. I have been to many psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors. I have been on various different medications. I have been hospitalized twice for it. For all of this time, I have been trying to find peace and happiness wherever I can: careers, school, hobbies, etc., but no matter what I cannot find it. The only place I can find it is being in love with someone, and I always screw that up and it ends very badly, always with my heart shattered and me feeling like I've hurt the other person so much. Just recently, I dated someone for a month. I fell for her hard and fast, and we seemed to hit it off. But two days ago, she said she didn't feel the spark anymore and dumped me. It has devastated me. I have been in bed since, haven't eaten, and just am completely shut down. Why I am so screwed up? I am so exhausted of trying to find happiness that I can never achieve. Why is it so bad to just want to stop going at this point?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not screw up hun you found someone once you will again and next time perhaps will be the one for you I know your tired but don't give up ok you get out there again
    It was her issues not yours that ended the relationship ok You keep trying
     
  3. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    I don't even know why I am posting on here anymore. Things have gotten much worse over the past few days. I have pretty much given up. I can't see any way out of this anymore. It is only a matter of time at this point.
     
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