100% insecure....tired....

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered-Hilary, Mar 25, 2010.

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  1. There is no one I can talk to. My past will always catch up with me emotionally and I'm not sure if it's the past that makes me feel this way now when in fact I know we are all the masters of our own destiny. I know everything in life is a choice. I'm so damn insecure in my relationship, I'm jealous, I love him so much and I don't know what I would do if he cheated on me. I think I'm obsessed with this whole issue of cheating. I won't be able to get through being cheated on. How do I make these feelings go away?
    I wish I could dump all the thoughts which are in my head somewhere and bury them. I pray to God everyday to end my life. I can't do it on my own, hell, i have tried but i survived. I don't want to hurt the people I love, I really don't. But I don't have energy for life anymore. I'm a coward, an emotional reck. Jealous person. What would the world be missing anyway. How can one person be so insecure?
    Is anybody hearing me
     
  2. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    Have you talk about your thoughts with your partner? You said there is no anyone who with you can talk to but in relationship you should could talk open with your partner. What makes you insecure in your relationship? why you assume so sure that he cheating you at one day?
     
  3. He knows about my insecurities, but I don't want to keep bringing it up as I am scared he will get irritated and leave me. Before we got serious about eachother we had a rough past. I don't want to doubt him. I have read two of his text messages before (I know this was wrong and i'm the only one to blame), but these have put more doubts in my mind. I think he likes to say things to make other women feel good. But how far will it go eventually? It feels like I have forests growing in my head of horrible thoughts and I can't take it anymore. I'm sitting at work, upset, cried some- all because I think the receptionist has the hots for him and that is why she is wearing a lowcut top, because she knows he will look and IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! I have been mean with here today, but I think the problem lies within me. I should have been put down at birth.
     
  4. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    im hearing you, girl. im sorry you feel this way. you say you have a big problem with jealousy and insecurity. i admit i struggle with that too. its normal to be envious of others when you feel bad about yourself. i don't know if you've had therapy and all that jazz. if not, i would suggest trying that to build up your self esteem.

    its really great you found someone you care about so much, but you should never make one thing your entire life cos when that one thing goes, what are you left with, right? your guy can be your favorite thing in life, but you also have to live for you and be happy. i think the saying goes 'before you can truly love, you must first love yourself'

    my suggestion is to try focusing your time and energy elsewhere. preoccupy yourself with productive activites like a new hobby or volunteering. instead of being consumed with thoughts of jealousy and sadness, you'll be bettering yourself, and in turn, you will feel better about yourself.

    i know it's a lot easier said than done when you feel down. low self-esteem hurts.the bottom line is that if this guy hurts you or betrays your trust, he doesnt deserve you. keep your chin up, hun :hug:
     
  5. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    Do you mean he know your insecurities but does not care about them at all?
     
  6. I would'nt say he doesn't care at all, I think he thinks that I don't trust him if I feel that way. I wish there was someway of just knowing for sure that he is being true to me (without him knowing).

    Lemoncookie- thanks for the words, I have very long ago gone for therapy on my depression, but not on my jealousy and insecurity issues. I know I should do a hobby to take my mind off things but there are some big decisions which we are tackling, ie, having a baby, I've given notice on my lease so I will be living with him with no "safe place" to fall back on. He is 40 and I am 28, he has two boys. He has been married twice and I have never been married. His motto before me was: fuck them all, marry none. What makes me so special? He keeps boasting about his big tool. Why the hell would he only want to please me. Damn, I just don't know anymore.
     
  7. He is a big joker kind of guy though, that is one of the qualities I love about him. His mind is in the gutter alot.. It's something i have accepted. Maybe all guys like staring at other women and so on. Maybe it's something I have to accept about men in general?
     
  8. Mr.xxx

    Mr.xxx Guest

    Thats all ?....
    I am not going to run around the bush so I will be straight and truthfull...if these are your biggest problems than I cant imagine how you will fare in the real world...just what the heck insecurity problems? You have a guy a wonderfull guy from your description and whining? And even jelaous when he looks at other women? What are you living in a fantasy??? EVERY man will look at a pretty women when one is going around, its a TOTALLY normal thing, he may look at them but his hearth is with YOU...do the math. If you will constantly think about cheating than it will happen,thoughts can become reality...ahhh there are tons of other fishes in the sea, even If he has been chating you than you WILL get over it and start dating someone AGAIN and AGAIN... Its all all and all only YOUR problem!!! Crap just be goddamn happy and live for christs sake...life is like a rollercoaster once you are up and once you are down.

    Ok so truth hast been spoken lets move on to your problem. If you are so insecure,its a whole changing process wich will take years and years to change. For start start doing something usefull such as join yoga or hiking or painting courses/hobbies so your mind will be concentrated on other stuff not that crap,not only that but it will build up your character + you can do it with your partner,atleast you have one. Second I suggest you to start meditating to cleanse the mind and the body, you will feel like a new woman after meditating believe me it helps me overcome difficulties,your thoughts will vanish and you will be concentrated on NOW. That reminds me dont live in past nor future,you are living NOW, you are thinking NOW, you are reading this NOW, there is no was or will only NOW.
    After that those feelings should vanish,if not then he could be cheating you, its called intuition and intuition is always right, believe me, thanks to it I found out that b**** cheated on me so hurray for 6th sense...

    Live your life, be happy, find harmony in your life, its the only way, golden middle way.

    Peace out.
     
  9. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    hey i would just like to reitterate what some of the others have already told you. it's time to take up another activity such as yoga, or voluteering somewhere. these sorts of things do help build self esteem and confidence. and i believe most men not all of course but i believe most men find self esteem and confidence very appealing in a woman. i have learned to become self sufficient. i was married to a man for ten years and he was 19yrs my senior btw. i'm terribly content with it just being me now, and i know quite a few guys that find it to be very attractive not that i will give them the time of day in that sort of way they've just told me it is. i do happen to believe if you spend too much time being jealous and worrying about this type of thing happening it definately will happen. i've seen it quite a few times before and i most definately believe in the power of the tongue. anyways, just a few things to consider or chew on. want to talk more feel free to pm me. please take care
     
  10. Wow, thank you for the straight forward reply. I think my problem goes a bit deeper. I have tried to stop thinking the thoughts which I do. Perhaps I need mental help or something, I don't know. I thought a persons gut is usually right? Why am I thinking he is hiding things from me. Maybe he thinks because he knows how I would react. So what, I'm some kind of monster? I deserve more than this. But I love him with all my heart and I want to trust him. So what, just hang tight until the truth comes out (if it ever does).

    Whatever, life sucks.
     
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