100 years

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by serabi24, Jun 23, 2013.

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  1. serabi24

    serabi24 New Member

    Well, this is my first ever post, and I feel kind of dumb that I'm talking about this on the internet. I'm only doing this because my ma is nosey and looks through my journals, and my phone isn't a place to write notes. Well, ever since I was 15, I have fantasized about killing myself. I'm twenty now, and I still fantasize. I do not know why, or what makes me this way. I guess it was because for ten years, my father molested and beat me. From ages five to fifteen, he got married when I turned 15. Every day I pretend to be happy, knowing it isn't true, because I can't feel real happiness. It is painful, I can't take it anymore.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...having gone through what you did has to have an effect on you...have you worked with a therapist/ counselor so that you can work through some of that stuff? I personally know what a toll it takes on a person having lived through something similar...please consider getting professional support and also continue to post here...there are many people who can relate...welcome again
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    This is a great place to share your thoughts. If you want to share and hear from others the main forums are great. If you want your own journal of sorts that others can respond to the member diaries are good. Private diaries are for just yourself to get your thoughts out and are here also.

    I am sorry for your pain but there are many people here who understand too well.... Hopefully you can find strength in them and realize you are not alone.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
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