I don't feel like I belong anywhere and I don;t knw why I haven;t just been killed because I know some of me was. People think I am crazy but I know what happened because I felt it and was there. It is like pieces of my childhood all over again and the same terrible feelings being inflicted, a psychic attack on my mind and I don't understand why. It is being done to my Mum too, she has been horrble to me, but punishing her won;t help what she has done to me and they have sent her completly crazy now, walking around in her own shit and the craziest I have seen her, except I wonder now was she always this carazy but i just couldnt see it? none of my life seems real anymore, i dont know what she did to me, but she has destroyed my mind and killed my soul and now there is no pioint carrying on like this a smashed up mess who everyone just thinks is crazy and treats like a retard. i feel like i am being punsihed for what she has done to me and all i want is to be helped and to be ok or it will kill me and will be registered as suicide when infact it is murder. It is like the past over and over, like echoes everywhere, tv, music, ppl talking, ppls judgements, comments, so called syncronicities which are scaring me. I don't understand why it is like this.