Is it all just made up in my head..? Why do I torment myself so much if so.. If its all just in my head, i guess all the can do is nothing.. Just as they do now.. And what can I do.. But accept my own brains stupidity.. How can I fight this invisible war against myself..? If there is no cause but my own brains need to harm itself, find something wrong with myself, cause myself physical and emotional harm.. How can anything ever change? I'm fighting it.. the need to look things up, the need to find answers.. I just want to move on.. I just want to live.. But nothing is changing.. I can't sit here idle much longer. I can't keep feeling this pain of everyone else around me. What is my own stupid brain doing to itself? and why? Why can't I just be OK.. Am I simply causing my own self destruction? Seeing and feeling things that aren't there? who the fuck am I.. and why do things hurt so much.. Why can't I stop the cycles of questions.. Is everything just inside my head? What is going on, and what is not..