11 Days...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by OneMoreReason, Jun 17, 2007.

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  1. OneMoreReason

    OneMoreReason Member

    Hey, I've a problem and was hoping someone could help...

    Here's a bit of background about me first, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 18. Since then I've been on anti-depressants which have worked up to a point, I stopped taking them around the New Year though, there were a few reasons... I'd been taking them for around three years and wanted to show my parents I was 'well' again.

    Since then I've had ups and downs, although lately it's been getting worse. Old feelings have returned, although as yet not majorly, including feeling a tad 'unreal', feeling less intelligent when doing practical tasks, and I've not been able to travel beyond certain points, whether I'm walking or travelling, although... even on medication I still had this problem, just not as bad.

    Ok so my problem...

    A few years ago my parents went away for two weeks, (before I was diagnosed with depression) and I was left alone. I thought I'd love it, but a few days in I was pacing around the house and felt in a total panic, similar to someone being lost I guess. Days felt endless. When they came back I was a wreck mentally, shortly after is when I was put onto medication, although this was not the cause... I'd been feeling low for ages before this.

    Two years later, they went away again. This time I was on medication most of the time they were away I was happy. I was nervous before they left in case I had a repeat of the other hellish episode. Luckily, I was actually looking forward to them NOT coming back for a while...

    This year, they're goign away again. Not just them however, my whole family are going. The problem is I've been getting worse lately, other feelings are returning such as a feeling of a permanent lump in my throat (like when before you cry) and since I've finished education for now, all I've left is a couple of days work every week until I find another job.

    I'm terrified that this time is going to be the worst, I think about it coming all of the time. It's stupid in a way, I'm old enough so that I should be thinking of moving out, and I was fine with it the year before... that's why I think it's more down to my mental state with depression returning bit by bit.

    They leave in 11 days, I can't stop them, but I've no idea what to do, I'm turning into a wreck.
  2. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    i didn't read the whole post, sorry, i was diagnosed when i was little, been on and off meds pretty much my whole life. i stopped around new years too. it has gotten to the point that i had to get back on them or i'd kill myself. i hope they work this time. if i was you i'd get back on them for your own safety, and sanity
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Go back on your meds now, let the doctor know about the up coming time alone as well, your doc may be able to arrange some counselling or support in case you need it. Don't sit and panic, do it as quickly as possible because the meds will take about 2 weeks to kick in.
  4. OneMoreReason

    OneMoreReason Member

    I just read my post back and it looks really bad when I say, 'I'm a wreck.' I'm sorry, I'm not, I was just a little bit on edge when writing it out.

    I'm not a mess or anything like it just now. Anyway, I've sorted things so as I can start taking the medication I was originally on starting tommorrow. Mines kicked in earlier than two weeks last time, even if it is two weeks I'll be fine. I've time to plan a few courses of action should I get any trouble while the house is empty, hopefully everything will run smooth though.

    Thanks for the advice. :smile:
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    If you get panicky hun, pop a line on here or feel free to drop me a pm :smile:
  6. DownwardSpiral

    DownwardSpiral Well-Known Member

    I can relate somewhat to how you feel. My partner is starting to travel for business during the week. I am at my worst when I am alone. He leaves tomorrow. I am on meds and in counseling now. I hope that your meds kick in and that you are able to make it without a problem. Good luck. PM or IM if you need anything.
  7. rd9671

    rd9671 Guest

    I think with your meds and the fact that you are aware of the possible issues you face you will do well. But as was said earlier.. you can always jump online and visit with us. The folks here are happy to offer support and friendship.
  8. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    I have to echo what Terry said. If your feeling alone, post something here, or go into the chat room. And, as always, my PM box is open.
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