Hey, I've a problem and was hoping someone could help... Here's a bit of background about me first, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 18. Since then I've been on anti-depressants which have worked up to a point, I stopped taking them around the New Year though, there were a few reasons... I'd been taking them for around three years and wanted to show my parents I was 'well' again. Since then I've had ups and downs, although lately it's been getting worse. Old feelings have returned, although as yet not majorly, including feeling a tad 'unreal', feeling less intelligent when doing practical tasks, and I've not been able to travel beyond certain points, whether I'm walking or travelling, although... even on medication I still had this problem, just not as bad. Ok so my problem... A few years ago my parents went away for two weeks, (before I was diagnosed with depression) and I was left alone. I thought I'd love it, but a few days in I was pacing around the house and felt in a total panic, similar to someone being lost I guess. Days felt endless. When they came back I was a wreck mentally, shortly after is when I was put onto medication, although this was not the cause... I'd been feeling low for ages before this. Two years later, they went away again. This time I was on medication most of the time they were away I was happy. I was nervous before they left in case I had a repeat of the other hellish episode. Luckily, I was actually looking forward to them NOT coming back for a while... This year, they're goign away again. Not just them however, my whole family are going. The problem is I've been getting worse lately, other feelings are returning such as a feeling of a permanent lump in my throat (like when before you cry) and since I've finished education for now, all I've left is a couple of days work every week until I find another job. I'm terrified that this time is going to be the worst, I think about it coming all of the time. It's stupid in a way, I'm old enough so that I should be thinking of moving out, and I was fine with it the year before... that's why I think it's more down to my mental state with depression returning bit by bit. They leave in 11 days, I can't stop them, but I've no idea what to do, I'm turning into a wreck.