Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Pink Teardrops, Jun 3, 2014.

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  1. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    Depression is a tyrannic ruler. I should know, it has ruled most of my life.
    At the minute its hold on me is so strong I struggle to even breathe.
    It is always with me, waiting in ambush for the first sign of weakness...
    Truth is: it has always been.

    I have been told that I chose to be unhappy. That I was needy. That I was weak...
    I have been given all those shitty advices such as get a hold of yourself, try and exercice...
    Bull, if I could do those things I would.

    People see what they want.
    It's easy to think "she needs time to herself" when in fact they just don't want the discomfort of dealing with you.
    I am scared all the time, I am terrified all the time, I hurt all the time.
    I am not the only one, I know that. No need to tell me.
    I know I will get through it. I have done it before and I will do it again.

    But right now I want to scream and cry and scream some more.
    The pain and the fear are taking over my mind, my sanity and my soul.
    I do alienate my friends because of the pain and fear.
    I am so scared of losing them that I push them away.

    If you are a friend you know what is happening in my life.
    I need you more than ever.
    I don't like asking for help.
    You know that.
    I hate to impose, I hate being demanding.
    But I also know that if I don't, I am taken for granted.
    Or for a doormat.

    The fact that I choose not to be a bitch doesn't mean I cannot be.
    It takes a lot to push past the point of no return but when it's done, it's too late.
    I don't do second chances.

    I am fiercefully loyal to my friends, I don't like to justify my choices.
    And yes I am disappointed and betrayed.
    And it tears me apart.

    Let me scream my pain, howl my fears and cry my tears.
    Then I will slowly be me again.
    Don't give up on me.


    Yes I know this isn't poem as such, but I wanted it here. This corner is where my words go.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i won't give up on you hugs to you ok
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I hear your pain PinkT - and empathise :grouphug: I like the way you're able to write about it too, so accurately expressive :)
  4. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

  5. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    Thanks urPrecious. Your comment means a lot. I just close my eyes and type my rambles and then go back and correct the zillion typos I've made!
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