You know, all my life I swore I'd never made it to my 21st birthday and now that I did I just don't what I'm supposed to do. I could just feel it, deep down, that either my illness or medications, or just being so depressed that I'd... I wasn't supposed to make it. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel but it feels like watching a car crash in slow motion. I just want it to be over, I don't want to do this anymore.