I failed a test essay today with school. Sucks horribly. I have no idea what it means though. I just know I failed by 4 effing points. I just feel like I can't hold onto anything anymore. Between stress, work, school, my roommate and everything else. I tried telling myself everyone fails and it's ok. I may have to repeat it, but it's only a week long. I just don't get how I'm supposed to actually do this school and work full time. I want to lower but I need the money. I don't know. All I know is i wanna cry. I wanna cry for daddy because I miss him so much. I wanna pick up the phone and cry to him, but I can't. Not unless there's a phone line directly to heaven. I'm forgetting his voice and that scares me. I forgot mom's voice. I don't wanna forget his. I wanna cry over school. But I gotta be the brave one. I can't just curl up and cry. I gotta be the one that keeps going with a smile no matter what. I'm so tired of this. So tired.