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  1. kristellechou

    kristellechou Well-Known Member

    I'm out of outlets, basically.

    I've been kept alive by the people around me who care but today, I realized that's a double edged sword. They are extremely worried and I now need to keep a pretense of 'ok' so they wouldn't worry so much. I posted a postivie thing on facebook today and I haven't written on my blog but I feel like soon I will need to so those who read it can't tell I'm faking it.

    I can't talk to any of them anymore.

    I've been praying that I just don't wake up, actually, but none of my prayers (those and others) have been answered. I feel like He abandoned me - I've lost the faitj I used to have a lot of. (Sorry, I know this part may belong to another board but just leave it, please.)

    I'm out of options, basically. I just need to either do it and soon. That way, it all ends. I just wantIt all to be over.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What has caused you to want to leave if it is depression that is treatable talk to your doctor get some therapy on meds whatever or both
    No need to pretend with family let them know exactly how you are feeling so they can get you help and they don't have to worry
     
  3. kristellechou

    kristellechou Well-Known Member

    Heartbreak. And, loss of faith.

    I don't believe in faking it until you make it but I think what's happening is I'm faking it for them until I have the guts to just do it already. I've told my mom and my sister the suicidal thoughts are gone and I'm just sad now. They don't need to know how bad it still gets.
     
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