I'm out of outlets, basically. I've been kept alive by the people around me who care but today, I realized that's a double edged sword. They are extremely worried and I now need to keep a pretense of 'ok' so they wouldn't worry so much. I posted a postivie thing on facebook today and I haven't written on my blog but I feel like soon I will need to so those who read it can't tell I'm faking it. I can't talk to any of them anymore. I've been praying that I just don't wake up, actually, but none of my prayers (those and others) have been answered. I feel like He abandoned me - I've lost the faitj I used to have a lot of. (Sorry, I know this part may belong to another board but just leave it, please.) I'm out of options, basically. I just need to either do it and soon. That way, it all ends. I just wantIt all to be over.