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[unregistered1]

I am going to kill myself. There s no point bothering with this life, there is no way I can make amends, I have screwed it up so badly, I need a new start. Just had to tell someone, I am not gonna tell my friends, cos I do not want to put any pressure on anyone and I dont want people to think I am seeking attention. All I was seeking was forgiveness. But I am never gonna get that. Life is only gonna get worse, and besides I cannot live with myself, I cant really hurt my family, but if I end my life now, they will be able to move on eventually, but if I stick around, I will keep making people miserable. I am not sure why I am posting this, but it kind of makes me feel better to know somebody is reading this and that I am not just talking to myself, cos I am sick of talking to myself.

 

[BeenThere]

Talking here you are never alone.There are many here that want to listen and help.Maybe pick a IM and start chatting...i think that would do you a world of good.

 

[Unregistered2]

Whats an IM? Anyway, I could make life work but I just wish I hadnt got so many things wrong. I cant live with my self anymore. I just CANT. And I keep shouting at people or just avoiding them or putting so much pressure on them that they dont want to know me. I hate looking at my self in the mirror cos I am an awful person, there are so many things I have done which I cant even make amends for. In some ways I feel selfish ending my life, but then again, its MY life, so its up to me what I do with it. I may not be blind, deaf or disabled or whatever, but there is no future to look forward to cos I ll always be sad. If I had dealt with a few things slightly differently then I could live, but as it happens I have no choice. Everyone is quite understandably fed up of me, I am quite fed up of myself, but I CANT live with myself now. I HATE myself and I believe in reincarnation so I want another go at life, I have messed up this one.

 

[BeenThere]

IM=Instant messanger i no how you feel.As much as i try to help people i still cant look at myself in the mirror.I try but its hard for me to do,but i talk to others and try to work through my problems as best i can,but i still have bad days My IM is on my signature...feel free to add me.

 

[gentlelady]

You can continue on with your life. Start over. Become who you want to be. People can change for the better just as much as they can change for the worse. It may be a difficult task, but I believe you have the stamina to do what needs to be done. Don't give up now. You say you have no choice. You do have a choice. We always have a choice until the very last moment. Choose to live and strive toward change. Stay safe and take care. :hug:

 

[Unregistered3]

Just wanted to say, thanks to James, I ve decided to make life work. Well that and the fact that I guess I realised I REALLY dont want to die. Took a packet of paracetamols out yesterday, I was on my own so nobody could have stopped me taking an overdose and my room was locked, my flat mates thot I d gone home, so nobody would have found me. I was totally ready to go for it, had written notes etc. But when it came to it, I couldnt do it. Cos people have a natural instinct to survive and its near impossible I think to go against that. But I am pleased that a) I tried but couldnt - It just shows that I do want to live, and b) that I spoke to James (one of the admin ppl - u know who ur) cos now I think, although life is far from perfect, I CAN do it!

 

[BeenThere]

:blink: :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[BeenThere]

I am hesitant to reply as i am not sure if it is me you are talking about lol if it is than is this who i think it is?

 

[Unregistered5]

well if u mean the girl you spoke to on msn yesterday, then yes it is - lol! Just thot u deserved a thanx. Hope I brightened ur day.
Take care! Anon - Id tell u my name but dont wanna post it on this forum - lol!

 

[BeenThere]

Get on msn! and you really made my day lol