13 and pregnant

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by makeitlooksoprettyburning, Apr 5, 2007.

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  1. makeitlooksoprettyburning

    makeitlooksoprettyburning Well-Known Member

    My 13 year old sister is tearing my family apart. First it was fights at school. Then she caught crabs (may I remind you she is 13!!) and now I think she is pregnant but no-one will tell me. I hate to see my family like this and I don't know what to do anymore. If she is pregnant then what will we do? If she isn't pregnant she's still got major behavioural issues which the therapist doesn't seem to be fixing. She bullies my mum and even her school teachers are scared of her.

    And everytime she gets into trouble she finds a way of turning it into my mum's fault. She says that my mum doesn't love her nd her head is messed up that she has to go out and have sex on park benches!

    I feel like I've tried everything and nothing is making my family come back together. It's really not nice having to live like this.

    Any suggestions would be VERY greatly appreciated.

  2. makeitlooksoprettyburning

    makeitlooksoprettyburning Well-Known Member

    once again nobody replies to my post

    are my problems not good enough for anyone here?
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Ouch!!:eek:hmy: What a touchy subject you've posted! As you well know your little sister is far too young to be engaging in such behaviors... but only SHE can control or change her behavior. You can only give suggestions and show her you love her. If you feel her therapist is not giving her proper attention you could bring that to his/her attention, or tell your parents. Does your sister realize (probably not) that her behavior will sooner or later bring her to the attention of the Authorities?? Not to mention the immediate fact that her behavior is very very risky. I don't know how old you are so that may limit your ability to give input/advice as to her "situation". If she's so threatening, why haven't her teachers reported this behavior?

    My only (useful) advice would be to keep telling and showing her that you love her and that such behaviors/attitudes will only get her in trouble in the long run... and possibly in the short run also. Is it possible that you could speak to someone in authority and ask what can be done? Can you talk to your mom?

    I'm sorry I can't be of more help but I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. You must be a loving sister to worry so about her.


  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I read your thread earlier and started replying but what I wrote was crap and decided to return to it later.

    Do you have anyone close in your family that you can talk to? It may be best to talk one on one with a relative to ask them about your sister. I suggest you explain to them that you think or are concerned that she is pregnant and you'd like your mind put at rest, and seeing as you're a member of the family, and she's your sister, you feel as if you have a right to know and you don't want to be kept in the dark about such a thing.

    If your sister is pregnant, then get her to see a doctor and maybe you or a relative go with her, that's if she hasn't been already. The doctor will know more about the options than me, I know little about this but there are options out there and support but we don't know if she is pregnant yet.

    As for the therapist. Yeah it does sound like she has a few issues. Your sister sounds out of control and it's quite worrying she is acting like this now and I dread to think how she may turn out a few years down the line. Can you change her therapist? Maybe that's a route you can consider.

    You'd probably benefit from talking about this with your family. If you all talk about it, maybe also include your sister in the discussion you can sort things out and/or make arrangements to see therapists etc

    I hope things work out for you and your family. :hug:
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hun, i don't think it should be done to you to fix your family's problems. Theres obviously some thing thats making your sister behave like this. If the therapist's isn't working then maybe she should see someone else. Like least said, only she can control her behaviour, you can only guide her so much. Girls that age will not listen, they think their 'little miss know it all'. She needs a reality check and one pretty quick!

    Is there not anything your parents can do??

    She obviously has some problems, the soon she gets that sorted the better before she ruins her life.

    Not much help i know, i didn't know what to say but i did wanna reply.
  6. What a smartass, impatient reply to your own quest for help...
  7. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    He/she did wait for several hours. So they got inpatient, is that a crime? Hush.
  8. One should never take HELP for granted --- that IS a crime...
  9. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Can we calm down?? This thread was posted for a reason, no need to cause an argument.
  10. Wonkey Toy

    Wonkey Toy Member

    she does all this because she doesnt feel LOVED and she wants to get your attention (I mean from all the family), so she gets into trouble.
    I just don't know what your beliefs are but if she is pregnant, 2 possibilities: keep the child or not.
    depends on your beliefs, religion etc...I always think communication is the key.
    I think that she thinks that no one cares, so she does that...why dont YOU talk to her to know how she feels.
    her self esteem is right now very low. she needs your help not your judgment
    that is what I think
    touching story
    take care and you can talk to us anytime
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2007
  11. Wonkey Toy

    Wonkey Toy Member

    she needed help quick..WHY DO YOU JUDGE HER? she needed advice, I understand her.
    this is not a war zone but a forum to help each other
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2007
  12. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Okay, lets please cut the arguments, you want to argue, do it in PMs or something.

    Obviously, this is an extremely serious matter, your sister is doing a lot of harm to herself and it needs to be fixed ASAP before she does ruin her life, that she does something she will regret for the rest of her life, she is destroying herself in these behaviors and it can't go on like this, thats all I can say, I am sorry I cannot give any specific advice.

    And yes, you are a good and loving sister to care so much about her.
  13. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    Hmm sorry i dont know what to tell you. Dont fight with her no matter how bad she acts, just give her kindness and forgiveness. Eventually she will say " hmm I should stop doing these things that are hurting my family".
  14. makeitlooksoprettyburning

    makeitlooksoprettyburning Well-Known Member

    oh wow where do i start??
    at the beginning i suppose...

    theleastofthese: thank u so much. i try as much as i can just 2 have wee conversations with her...even if they r silly ones!

    resistance: i dread 2 think what shes going 2 turn out like in the future aswell and that is what worries me so much. she has got a few social services people and therapists working with her @ the mo so fingers crossed they can sort her out. thanks - i hope things work out for me and my family 2 :)

    vikki: she is such a complete 'little miss know it all'! i really appreciate that u took the time 2 reply. its always nice 2 know that someone out there is listening!

    foundandlost1: im curious 2 see u, come home from school one day and find out ur 13 year old sister has crabs, then a few days later find out she is possibly pregnant aswell. then sit alone in the house 4 hours with noone 2 tell u its gonna be ok. thinkin nobody thinks u deserve 2 be as upset as u r, im not sure ud be able 2 resist being a "smartass"

    ruby: thanks

    foundandlost1: excuse me where did i take help 4 granted???? i must have missed that part. i didnt get any help before i became a "smartass".

    wonkey_toy: that is exactly what the social worker said, which 2 be honest i didnt belive at first as she is the spoilt one, the one who gets all the attention. but i now agree, she gets the attention because she needs the attention more than me or my brother. thanks 4 helping me 2 see that!

    nkrukato: it feels so nice 2 be called a good and loving sister. thank u so much! :)

    zohmygob: i cannot wait till the day she decides she should stop doing these things that r hurting her family! thanks! :biggrin:

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