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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RobinOLocksley, Mar 12, 2007.

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  1. RobinOLocksley

    RobinOLocksley New Member

    My wife just told me yesterday that she was leaving me and she left this morning.

    My life has been a very odd and lonely one. I am the last person in my family line and I wanted children so desperately, but we found out my wife couldn't have children. I gave up my dreams of having a family to honor my vows to her and to try to show her the love and loyalty that I have never felt others give me. She just up and left out of the blue and didn't even seem to have a reason I could understand.

    I've thought about suicide for most of my life, but I had some glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that things might get better; life's troubles eventually crushed that hope. For the better part of 2 years, I've been staying alive for my wife's sake; I thought I was at least of value to her, but I guess I wasn't.

    I've tried so hard to love the world, but no one ever valued my love enough to love me back. I've never had a real friend - no, not one. My mother is the only person who would even notice if I dropped dead tomorrow and I think she would be me more upset that it inconvenienced her than upset that I was gone.

    I'm just wondering if there's someone who needs a shoulder to cry on and might offer me one to cry on a little too. I need to feel like I have some use to someone else in this world right now.
     
  2. This is a bit much. This past week really seems to have been the worst week ever, and I really hate this world. Not so much life, but the world. People are evil and they only hurt others. True love doesn't seem to exist. It's all a fucking illlusion and one which I know for me, will end very soon, if nothing good happens today. RobinO, I am really hurt that she did this to you, and I'd hope I could tell you it's going to get better, yadayada, but I can't. I just can't, and I'm at the breaking point right now. Too much pain. All I can say, to you now, is if there is any joy you can easily access, please do. For your own sake. Do whatever you can do to be happy. I'm about to post my goodbye message. I'm very sorry.
     
  3. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Hi Robin, I know it hurts when someone we cherished let's us go and without a good reason the pain is just that bit deeper. To honour your vows despite the cost of losing your chance to be a father was an incredibly noble thing for you to do and from a human point of view shows you have a lot of character and a lot of good in you and that's something I can respect very much so.

    I know it's painful for you right now but you did everything you could and I'm sure there's nothing more you could have done to save the situation but sometimes people just need to move on and wrong or right it's best to let them go to minimise the pain.

    I am about if you need a friend, just drop me a pm anytime.
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You will definetly find friends here and right now you need to be able to talk thru what has happened. My msn etc is in my profile
     
  5. lilboyblue

    lilboyblue Well-Known Member

    RobinO, I too feel utterly alone and it hurts. I'll take you up on your offer for chatting. I'm so confused...
     
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