My wife just told me yesterday that she was leaving me and she left this morning.
My life has been a very odd and lonely one. I am the last person in my family line and I wanted children so desperately, but we found out my wife couldn't have children. I gave up my dreams of having a family to honor my vows to her and to try to show her the love and loyalty that I have never felt others give me. She just up and left out of the blue and didn't even seem to have a reason I could understand.
I've thought about suicide for most of my life, but I had some glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that things might get better; life's troubles eventually crushed that hope. For the better part of 2 years, I've been staying alive for my wife's sake; I thought I was at least of value to her, but I guess I wasn't.
I've tried so hard to love the world, but no one ever valued my love enough to love me back. I've never had a real friend - no, not one. My mother is the only person who would even notice if I dropped dead tomorrow and I think she would be me more upset that it inconvenienced her than upset that I was gone.
I'm just wondering if there's someone who needs a shoulder to cry on and might offer me one to cry on a little too. I need to feel like I have some use to someone else in this world right now.
My life has been a very odd and lonely one. I am the last person in my family line and I wanted children so desperately, but we found out my wife couldn't have children. I gave up my dreams of having a family to honor my vows to her and to try to show her the love and loyalty that I have never felt others give me. She just up and left out of the blue and didn't even seem to have a reason I could understand.
I've thought about suicide for most of my life, but I had some glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that things might get better; life's troubles eventually crushed that hope. For the better part of 2 years, I've been staying alive for my wife's sake; I thought I was at least of value to her, but I guess I wasn't.
I've tried so hard to love the world, but no one ever valued my love enough to love me back. I've never had a real friend - no, not one. My mother is the only person who would even notice if I dropped dead tomorrow and I think she would be me more upset that it inconvenienced her than upset that I was gone.
I'm just wondering if there's someone who needs a shoulder to cry on and might offer me one to cry on a little too. I need to feel like I have some use to someone else in this world right now.
