Hiya so i am a 15 year old girl and have been thinking about suicide for about a year now but recently have been thinking about it more and more. My mum suffers from a mental illness and my dad left when i was one so have had to deal with it pretty much on my own for my whole life, i have had family there but they dont really understand..they pretend they do though. I am not at school at the moment as i just cant deal with it..i dont really have any freinds and pretty much stay in on my own. I have started trying to cut as well..i am not that good at and cant make myself bleed but i do leave makrs and they hurt..and i think i am becoming addicted to it. I have a conciler but she is the only one i can talk to..and talking doesnt change anything. Also i have so much stuff in my head that i cant talk about or even write down..cause it feels like a real problem then. It feels like the thoughts of suicide are taking over my body and i have even written my letter and have planned how i am going to do it. I feel the only thing stopping me is my mum and how bad she would feel. But i think soon i wont even care about that anymore. I dont like one thing about my life or myself..and feel there is nothing left to live for. Its like i have come to a wall and i cant get it down. I am scared of the future..and feel that i will become a failure wich i pretty much already am. I just dont get the point off life. Everything is so..overwhealming. And i dont trust anyone..cause everyone i ever truested let me down. And i never think things will be okay cause if they go wrong i cant stand getting let down again. I have so much more but i guess i wrote enough already...thanks to anyone who actually read this...sorry for rambling but i needed to get some of this outta my head!