im just so fed up. so fed up of looking in the mirror and seeing this person i dont recognise. its not me. i hope its not me. i feels different now. everything feels different. this other person is taking over my mind. i thought i could fight it all but before ive realised it im stuck in this world of control. im not longer me. when did i stop fighting? i dont want to die. i dont want the thing inside me to win. i want to win for once!!