19 issues. Surely someone can help with one of them? :(

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by feathers, Dec 22, 2010.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Okay, so I do have a lot of issues, most of them relating to traits of Borderline Personality Disorder but some that are just me. If anyone could give me any advice on how I might even begin to battle these issues, it would be greatly appreciated.

    • Suicidal Feelings
    • Inferiority and insecurity inc. idealization/devaluation of self.
    • Unstable & intense interpersonal relationships inc. idealization/devaluation.
    • Unstable mood.
    • Unstable self image, constant changing of what I want, wanting damaging things, unsure of career (just applied to uni and think I've applied for the wrong course, when 2 weeks ago it was perfect for me :/).
    • Abandonment - fear that partner is going to leave for someone else.
    • Extreme jealousy and paranoia with partner.
    • Wishing BF would not interact with other girls.
    • Intense overreactions to sometimes trivial things.
    • Feeling let down, sometimes by small, trivial things.
    • Manipulating people to get my own way.
    • Intense anger - anger as a defence mechanism, hurting others instead of rationally embracing that I am upset.
    • Stubbornness.
    • Flirting with people/getting them interested when I don't like them/am taken.
    • Impulsive sex that can result in problems!
    • Chronic boredom without crisis.
    • Self Harm
    • Dissociation.
    • Intense masochism in sex.

    Thank you for any replies in advance.

    K x
  2. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Thought of a couple more whilst writing up my list...

    • Periodic Depression
    • Damaging impulsive needs - wanting baby/sex change in the past.
    • Inability to cope with not getting my own way.
    • Need for attention, exaggerating in order to get it.
    • Need for acceptance, caring what others think to the point of extreme self devaluation.
    • Being mean/purposely hurting others as a defense mechanism, instead of consciously embracing that I am upset.
    • I don't apologise unless it is to manipulate.
    • Constant need for crisis/drama in my life.
    • Can trust too much early in relationships and friendships but can also not trust enough.
    • Getting obsessed with love interest with extreme intense fluctuations between idealization/devaluation if they do not reciprocate.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2010
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    One of the ways I dealt with my issues is to examine what I believed. I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about things that were said around us when we were children, and conclusions we came to because of a circumstance.

    I understood what my therapist meant after my ex-husband asked me out to a movie. I said no because I believed that meant we were back together.

    The moment I heard the word "believed" come out of my mouth, I understood what was meant by examining my beliefs.

    After this experience, I began to think about what I heard as a child and/or what I experienced on a single occasion, to what I can learn about a topic as an adult.

    Then I would re-write what I believed. I would have to remind myself about it when old belief's try to interfere with my life and my feelings.

    Doing this did not solve all of my problems, but, a little at a time it sure brought me a whole lot of relief. I also found my self-esteem raise as I accomplished these things. I also learned that there are things that others say that only goes to show their problems and it doesn't mean they are right in their opinion of me.

    I hope this helps. :hug:

  4. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with masochism during sex. It is very common on this forum and not rare outside it (it does appear to be related to mental illness somehow, but that's neither here nor there).

    If it feels good, do it (with another consenting adult and a safety word).

    Unfortunately, I can't provide help with the other things. This thread enhances my belief that you have bipolar disorder, however, which you should look into, due to the following things:

    "• Impulsive sex that can result in problems!
    • Unstable mood.
    • Intense masochism in sex. (Maybe. I find my deviance increases during manic episodes. Just my experience.)
    • Periodic Depression
    • Damaging impulsive needs - wanting baby/sex change in the past."
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2010
  5. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies. I did used to think I have bipolar, but I've never had a manic or hypomanic episode. The mood swings and other things you quoted are better explained my borderline personality disorder :). But thank you
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Is there any reason it can't be both? I have a suspicion that a large proportion of those experiencing suicidal thoughts have bipolar disorder; also, 4 month long depressions are not the mood swings characteristic of borderline.

  7. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Doesn't Borderline make people more susceptible to depression? And also even if I am bipolar I am not going to get any acknowledgement or treatment for it if I haven't been diagnosed, which I can't be without a manic episode. It's hard enough trying to get treatment for the 'borderline traits' I've been diagnosed with!
  8. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Hypomanic episodes are hard to tell apart from a good day. Do you ever suffer from insomnia? You could also bring up those 5 points I mentioned before.

    However, even without that, quetiapine is a drug that's approved for unipolar depression as well as bipolar disorder, and it's perfectly safe. Perhaps you could ask about trying that?
  9. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    The only times i get insomnia are when I have fucked up my sleeping pattern. I'm not depressed at the minute but will write down the name of that drug for when I see whoever it is I am seeing for therapy. i'll mention the bipolar thing too
  10. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    That's good. I hope I've set you down the path for proper treatment.
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