19 months and still hurting


Antiquities Friend & Senior Member
Its been 19 months since i lost my mom in a road traffic accident and im still hurting as if it was yesterday.Most days it feels like shes still going too walk back in the door.I have flashbacks,seeing her in the road,the pain in her eyes,i only have too see a similar car that hit her and im back there imagining the fear she must have felt.Then theres the nightmares,its dreadful.I keep thinking it will get better,but its not.I know i should probably try grief counselling or something,but i cant help thinking that this was my mom how can you possibly understand how im feeling inside,maybe im wrong,maybe time really is a great healer,yet right now it hurts so badly.


Staff Alumni
Mandy, you would be surprised the similarity ppl have in their experience of grief...I thought the same as you (I lost my mother, one of my best friends, my ability to walk and 2 cats in 6 months), but I found there are some more universal experiences, and strategies to get through...one never gets over certain things, but I feel we can not have them as the foreground of all of our experiences...just my 2 cents...and so sorry about the loss of your mother, especially in such a tragic way


Antiquities Friend & Senior Member
Thank you for your reply,im so sorry for your loses too it must have been so hard for you.Im just struggling and dont know where too turn,the people (so called friends)that i have tried too talk too are just telling me too get over it,which isnt helpful.Its just real hard right now.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Mandy your friends don't get it hun one just does not get over it
It would help you so much hun to have therapy to help you deal with your grief
also some therapy to help you deal with the trauma of the event
Do that for you hun get some professional help YOur mother would want that for you some help for you hun to heal hugs


Well-Known Member
sorry for your loss amanda even tho it has been 19 months diffrent people greave diffrently, so dont feel rushed or compelled to stop grieving. At revelation 21:4 god promises us "he will wipe out every tear from their eyes,and death will be no more,neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore." I hope this comforts you and gives you hope that things will get better.
You can keep going, my friend... I know it is so hard to not see your mom coming in the door, to not be able to talk to her on the telephone, or share a quick chat. I lost my dad violently 4 years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to live with. People who have not lost a parent just will not get what you are experiencing, much less understand the imagining of what happened.

Seeing a grief counselor is a big step, but so important in taking care of yourself. You may well be dealing with PTSD, as well as grief, and a counselor can help you to manage both things. You'll always miss your mom, that won't change, but you need help to take care of yourself so you can live the rest of your life and remember all the wonderful, loving things you shared.


Antiquities Friend & Senior Member
Thankyou.I just feel so lost right now.I cant face talking too a stranger {counsellor}who did not know my mom.This grief is just too much,I feel so alone.SHE WAS MY MOM.A relativly healthy 69 year old who got killed by another,oh I dont know,thanks for reading this,nevermind.


Well-Known Member
Mandy, I'm sorry for your loss.

Mine came 18 months ago and I think I still feel the same ragged, brutal pain as I did the first few days.

I've been to a grief counselor, and you might be surprised how much they can help. I don't know how you feel about church, but in my area there are several with grief support programs. The one I went to was led by others who had loss, and attended by those grieving.
(1 Peter 5:6-7) *"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt YOU in due time; *while YOU throw all YOUR anxiety upon him, because he cares for YOU."

I Hope that you pray for help and encouragement. Sorry for loss.


Antiquities Friend & Senior Member
Thankyou for the passage/verse,it probably would help if I let it,but right now I am not getting on too well with religion or god,I hope you understand that.

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