1st time

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Pad, Jul 30, 2009.

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  1. Pad

    Pad Well-Known Member

    I attempted about 2 weeks ago.

    Was my first attempt and it was the worst day of my life. I won't go into detail as we don't talk about methods. I got scared and called an ambulance for myself and was in hospital for a couple of days. My parents have made me stay with them for a while too. So humiliating. I guess i couldnt wait for my planned date, it felt so far away
     
  2. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Pad, how are you feeling now, are you still suicidal? I'm glad you called that ambulance, it shows that deep down you want to live, hang on to that thought in your darkest times and come to us for support.
    Have you been offered further help following your attempt?

    Hazel
     
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am so glad you called for help Pad. The fact that your parents had you stay with them shows they care about you. I can understand your feelings of humiliation, but try to move beyond that and see the whole picture. I hope things are not so desperate for you now. :hug:
     
  4. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad you called for help. How are you feeling now?
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Pad why don't you talk things over with your parents,it's obvious they care!! Maybe they can help you find a good therapist.. You can learn life skills, and coping skills..Therapy does work but you have to be open with them and tell all so they can prepare a treatment plan to help you..
     
  6. Pad

    Pad Well-Known Member

    I still feel exactly the same even though i made out to my parents i am fine now and that i dont know what came over me. My parents and doctor want me to talk to someone and will probably be put back on meds if I do. I won't go and see someone anyway, there really is nothing to be done. This is how I feel about the world
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you try again if not for your sake for your parents. A new therapist someone who you can open up with and trust they can help immensley. I understand the thing with meds but even if you try them for awhile and see what happens then when your feeling better wean off them again thats what i did. You did good phoning getting help reaching out. Continue to talk with us here okay we all understand we do take care.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi pad,

    I'm also glad you called for help. Perhaps staying with your parents will help? :hug:
    Try and make the most of the situation. We're all here for you xx
     
  9. Pad

    Pad Well-Known Member

    I keep feeling that im glad i called, then wishing i hadnt, then glad i did etc. Then I feel like i wish i had used something more sudden. I dont know if i regret trying, or regret calling for help. Was it a cry for help or was it really an attempt? I cant help feeling the fear I felt every time i think about it, didnt think it would be so scary waiting to die
     
  10. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I know how you feel. :hug:

    I'm glad you failed though.

    Now you know that you need help, maybe? You need to talk to a doctor and get better. :)
     
  11. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    I had the same experience Pad. Took an overdose a couple months ago, just couldn't wait to do it the time/day/way I was going to. Got really scared waiting to die and called a friend who called an ambulance. Ended up in the hospital for a week, then my parents kept a close on me for quite awhile.

    Now I feel like I hate life maybe even more and yet have this hope in me, I don't even know for what because even if things get better I'm just going to die one day anyway so really I feel like all of this was me not being able to face up to the inevitable (the fact that we all do die someday). I feel like I'm just putting it off and by doing so, creating a lot of unnecessary and inhumane suffering for myself and others around me. :(

    I hope you can at least look at this and know that someone kinda knows what you're talking about. I won't try to say exactly since everyone is different but reading your story made me think if I had posted that...than I saw the name.
     
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