I think about it a lot, suicide. Sometimes the thought doesnt bother me, and I feel like it would be a good time to do it. But other times- like right now, I want to do it. I come up with ways to and what I would write in my notes, but it makes me sad? It just confuses me, if I really am ready for death would the idea of it upset me? Im not sure if im suicidal or not, because yes, I want to die and would do it- but I know I won't. At least not right now. I dont know if any of that makes sense, but I felt like sharing it.