2 in 1 Attempt

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Mustafa, Jul 12, 2008.

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  1. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    Hi. I'm new here and don't know where to start so will do it from here and will try to tell my story in brief.

    I'm from Azerbaijan (don't think you know where it is :D). After I have graduated I decided to move to Dubai to live with my family, coz Azerbaijan sucks. So, I came to Dubai and it turned to be completely different from what I thought it will be. It's hard to make friends, most of the girls are interested only in money, if you want to enjoy your lige here you need lots of $$$. So, after trying few jobs and seeing no change I have decided to go and study to the UK, which would increase my chances of getting a good job.

    I talked to my parents to see whether they will be able to afford it or not. They said they will even though it will not be easy. I was lucky to get accepted and went to the UK. I though that is the end of boring life. I was studying and then it was time to write 4 essays before the dissertation. I put so much effort into studying and everything was going well until I got my results. I failed 1 out my 4 essays. Was really pissed but didn't panic coz there was still a chance to write an essay again.

    I wrote it and submitted it and had to wait 2 months for its result. After one months I've started to think "What happenes if I fail this one". I though that my life will be crap again and I'll not be able to face my parents and tell them that I failed wasting 1 and a half year of my life plus some $40,000 (tuition fees and living expenses). Then I've decided that if I fail I'll commit suicide and the way I'll do it was probably to <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>

    So, when my result came I found out that I failed. Went home and couldn't jump coz I'm afraid of heights. Took vodka and started drinking it with some pills just not to feel pain before I started cutting my viens. Then I wrote a note and texted my friends. That's the last thing I remember from that day. It was around 3-4 pm.

    Then what happened after that. <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>and fell on asbestos roof at around 6 pm. Head first and nobody was around, but I was still conscious (but don't remeber it). While on the ground I was calling for help and my 2 new stupid flatmate girls said after that they heard someone calling for help, but they didn't even check. I stayed on the ground for 2 hours with broken skull and a btain injury before the bouncer from the club found me.

    I in coma for 3-4 days during which I had 7 surgeries: 2 - brain, 1 face, 1 -elbow (there's a crew in it), 2 - hand (srew in one finger and 2 pins in another) and 1 - ankle. First thing that i though after I woke up in hospital was "Why I'm alive?".

    After some time when my parents came (by the wya they didn't sleep 3-4 days while they were waiting for their visa to get to the UK) and the psychiatrist talked to me the University decided that I have been stressed at the time of writing the essey and they awarded me the credit and PgDiploma and let me write the dissertation in order to get my LLM. I've submitted my dissertation and now waiting for the result which I'll hopefully have in a few weeks.

    My suicide attempt happened 8 months ago and now I feel better. Thank God I can walk, go to the gym, even though cannot do much exrecices coz my hand is not strong enough and I cannot move fingers 100% (cannot make a fist).

    I'm not thinking of commiting suicide again and I wish to regret it but I don't coz after what Uni has done to me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2008
  2. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Your life seems to have been pretty rough hun. I'm glad you found this site and hope that you can get all you need from it here.
    If you'd like to chat my pm box is always open :)
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sorry to hear of what you put yourself through. It must be a long road to recovery. I am glad you are no longer suicidal. Congrats on passing and being allowed to write your dissertation. i hope that goes well too. You will find support here with us. Take care. :hug:
  4. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    :welcome: to the forum here. we're really glad you found us but even glader to hear that you survived your attempt. it sure sounds like it's been a tough road, but you are one tough cookie. :please: continue to take care and we'll see ya around.
  5. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    I hope it will go well too, but even if it won't (only God knows it) I'll not make another suicide attempt. God kept me alive for a reason. I just thought that I need to talk to someone about what happened to me.
  6. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    Tough cookie? I like it. thanks for the support and hope I'll be able to help other people over here.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you did allow us to share with you. Peer to peer support is such a wonderful tool.
  8. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    Hey Mustafa, sounds like youve had some serious ish dude.
    Hope you find the forum helpful, im a new member myself (joined yesterday) and everybody has been great, .. enjoy tour stayman.
  9. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    Thanks, mate. I've read your thread. Just try to focus, everything will be fine ;)
  10. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    Thanks. I feel like talking about it and maybe it'll help me to forget it and move on.
  11. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    Thanks buddy. This forum is a great idea eh?
  12. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    Glad you came here, its really good when we hear from someone like yourself whos managed to go through so much and make it out on the other end. :welcome:
  13. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    The thing that bothers me is that I managed to go through it only after suicide attempt. Don't know if I would be able to manage my problems without it :(
  14. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    It sure is, coz it's much easier to be open and talk to people you don't know.
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome :hug:
  16. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.
  17. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :hug:
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