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2 or so weeks...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SomeoneElse, Jan 13, 2011.

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  1. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    Not posted in a while, so I thought I may as well. Things have been getting worse, as you'd expect; They can only go one way.

    Sent off for my provisional driver's license, which I can use as ID to buy a crap tonne of vodka. Simply a case of drinking myself into the ground. Should be here in a few weeks.


    Oh, and mods... Feel free to have at this post. Hack it up; Make it worthless.
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    whats bringing you down so much, if you know the process then you know that depression comes in waves, that right around the corner comes quiet
  3. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    I post my story multiple times and yet still, no one knows it.

    I'm not going into it again. Point being, there is no day where I don't look at myself in the mirror and wonder why I'm even alive.
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry I dont know your history, I just wanted you to know your not alone. Try not looking inside so much, take that energy and put it somewhere else, if youve hit your limit on what to do then try something youve never thought would help, get out there and volunteer, give to others. Dont let yourself sit and wait for something to change, get out there and make it happen!

    Now that said and still dont know your history because the past is what it is the past, try to create your future.

    Or you could just ignore me, Im full of helpful advice, arent I, lol.

    Either way I hope you continue to post on here and let it all out.
  5. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    Lul, go outside... No thanks.

    What's happened in the past is still happening today, and will continue to happen in the future until I'm dead. It's not even a psychological issue. Well... Wasn't.
  6. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    I see this sank pretty quickly. No surprise there. Got a letter through the post; Stated one week for the license to come through. Whoop-dee-doo. :rolleyes:
  7. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    sorry I couldnt talk more yesterday, Has today been any better?

    Im not the best today so I cant even think of words right now.
  8. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    Nope... Every day's been either the same or worse for over 3 years.
  9. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry, the ups and downs are just horrible, one day I can think everything is okay and Im in control and the next its one big nightmare Im wanting to end now.

    I need to get back on my meds now, its getting to hard. What about you, any meds ever help any?
  10. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    No, never taken them, as they wouldn't help anyway.

    For the sake of doing it, I'll explain why my life's so shitty. Simply put, it's genetics.

    Suffering from a type of albinism, which itself is bad enough, but this is coupled with a monstrous skull deformity which was never treated, due to the incompetence of my parents. This resulted in moderate brain damage being caused, so now I have problems reasoning and thinking straight; Terrible eyesight and memory, as well as constant slurred speech, which was a mix of this and the fact that I used to drink myself absolutely stupid and inhale solvents.

    I can't go outside, due to the way other people stare at me. I lost all my friends in college, who clearly weren't even my real friends, or they'd have at least bothered to check up on me, considering I haven't seen any of them in 7 months.

    Yeah... I'm a sad, pathetic scum-bag and my life's fucked.
  11. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    sounds like you hold alot of anger towards your parent, anger is one of the worst side affects to depression, it will literally eat you up. If youve never tried meds, why do you take it off the offering table? Why not give it a try, Im in no way advertising for them but in the end it helps me get passed this manic stage and back to functioning again, even if its temporary (usually about every 2 years)
  12. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    As I said... No.

    I can't even fucking look in the mirror. You think some meds are gonna fix that?..
  13. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    It may not change the way you look but it may make you feel differant about your situation, it may make you see that you were out there once living your life, that you can do it again.

    Im going to stop posting now, Im sorry Im no help, today is not a good day for me.

    I hope you feel better.
  14. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    Fine, but the only reason I was ever living a life was because I had to. It doesn't mean it was good. Now that I have a choice, I'm making my decision.
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Is your decision to continue living? :hug:
  16. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    License just came through. Bloody quick.
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