Two days ago was my second Anniversary since the Old me died and I was Born Again. Here is the original story: http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?88764-3-miracles-Very-Happy-Ending-)&highlight= Not a day goes by without me remembering what I did, not even once has it pass through my mind that I want to do it again, same way as it never passed through my mind before I did it (one day before only). I want to make it clear, the reason why I did it was for love of my Children, I was a divorced father with full custody of my children, with no job, no money, no place to live, no food to feed my children and a Family Court Judge forcing me to give money to the EXwife, even though I had full custody due to her abusing physically the Children, no shelter wanted to give me a room, no welfare wanted to help me (according to them, because I was not a woman), the floor we were sleeping in, was going to be denied to us soon, the relatives taking care of my children while looking for work were tired of helping, I thought by me being out of the equation, they could get help through their Mother and would be able to have some food. I was completely wrong, it would have devastated them, completely ruin their life, for now, they live with the abusive mother, due to Child Support and the judge not trusting the Suicidal Person (Me - even though I have been analyzed by two different Licensed Psychiatrists, been part of recovery groups, been for two months supervised every second of the day and night at the hospital), anyway, I am the Children's biggest support (by the way, I do get them 30% of the time), as they suffer with their mother, children have reported with the police, with the psychiatrist, and them to Child Protective of California, but they don't protect the Children, they protect the Mothers, therefore, the Children are stuck with their mother until she leaves bruises, blood or something worse (their own words). I still owe money from the doctors, old car in really bad shape with lots of repairs needed, living day by day and just had another surgery of my broken/burn leg, as it was getting paralyzed due to one of the pieces of bone almost cutting my sciatica nerve. BUT, I am happy and I am whole, nothing bothers me, nothing stresses me, I love life, I have been given another chance, kind of like overtime, I enjoy every second of my life as if it was not supposed to exist, I give so much love to my Children that they can't understand, I enjoy the trees, the raindrops, the ocean, the smells, everything ten times more than before. I respect more those in need, those who are hungry, thirsty, naked, without a shelter, in jail, poor in spirit, dirty, weak, sick, mentally ill, I try to care for them, I visit them, talk to them, give them food, gift cards, a handshake, a hug, a smile, a "God Bless you"; The more that I give to them (I'm not talking about money), the more peaceful and fulfilled that I become. I just started a new job, it's a great job, the bosses are very nice and I am happy to work there, I am starting to be able to pay off some of my bills, soon I may not owe anyone, people tell me you are doing great, if they know about my Suicide, they tell me "you are becoming successful", what they don't know is that if tomorrow I had no job, no car, no place to live and no money, it would not affect me at all, as I am at peace, I know that all those things don't mean anything, it's just a way to be stressed out all your life, you always want more, bigger, more bedrooms, newer year, nicer color, more than the neighbor... I have learn form other people that you can travel the world, follow your dreams with a backpack and a change of clothes, that you can make others happy without spending a cent and that if you are good, no matter the circumstances, you will always come out fine and with a clear conscience. I was hiking and running two weeks ago, bicycling, snorkeling, I just bought a surfboard and may try it this weekend, I am exercising and doing Physical therapy, I go to the Gym in shorts, proud of my Burn Leg (people can't help looking away, but it doesn't bother me at all). Anyway, it has affected me forever, but I choose to make it as positive as I can, I am thankful to God for letting me stay in this world and will look forward to doing good to others as much as I can. God Bless you.