20 years of nothingness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bokonon85, Feb 26, 2013.

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  1. bokonon85

    bokonon85 Account Closed

    I'm a 29 year old with Schizoid Personality Disorder. Everything I've read said there is no real fix for my condition, medicine and therapy are generally ineffective. Not that I could afford either anyway. I've been hanging on for years, just waiting for something to get better, and every year that hope dims a little bit more. Everything I've ever tried to do on my own has turned out badly. Any party I've ever tried to throw people no show, entertainment cancels, cable goes out, something. Every time I try to cook, something that use to bring me pleasure, something inevitably goes wrong and just leaves me feeling even worse. If I have no interest in friendship or dating, or really anything that people usually want out of life (riches, travel, power, whatever) whats the point in getting up everyday? All I'm doing is subjecting myself to more pain and draining my parents retirement accounts because I'm incapable of holding. I think if I can ever come up with a good way to make my mom realize its not her fault, I'll be gone tomorrow, its the only thing holding me back.

    Is there anyone else with Schizoid here who can recommend some self-help or coping techniques?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My duaghter has this illness and medication the injection once a month has helped her hun the injection keep meds more level in her system Also hun DBT has also been so effective Meds with the therapy seems to have stabilized her some
     
  3. bokonon85

    bokonon85 Account Closed

    What medication is she currently on? I've had zero success with meds, they've always done more harm than good for me, but at this point Im willing to grasp at a few straws.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Invega injection along with other medication for depression and anxiety
     
  5. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I am a schizoid too. The feeling of being with people and still being lonely and still being lonely when I'm alone fills me with anguish. I've tried to maintain a couple romantic relationships, but I failed. You see, I'm sexaully dysfunctional too. Every morning I get up, I feel a jolt of despair, for I know that all I'm trying to do is keep the ship afloat with so many holes. I long for the day something compels me to end it. The only thing that comforts me is I'm not alone in this disorder. I do go to support groups and they help sometimes.
     
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