you know what? nothing that anybody says or does or however much support people try to give me... it's not going to do anything... he will still be here... right here... and he's not leaving... no one can help me. i'm completed deserted. i don't even know why i'm typing this up - i know that no replies will help. i just need to shout it from the rooftops - I'm completely alone in this world and cannot be helped. there is no one. absolutely no one.