21 years ago she comitted suicide

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by DasWolf, Mar 9, 2010.

  1. DasWolf

    DasWolf New Member

    I lost the love of my life 21 years ago to suicide... I have never loved anyone again since her.

    I wrote this for her:

    A silent echo rings through me
    like a mountains mad crash
    the scream of a mad man
    released from closed lips

    the answers fail the questions
    time should mend it all
    but i know i don't want to
    forget that you were there

    and i know there's no tomorrow
    yesterday has left you there
    but i feel you here with me
    but i can't reach you to touch

    you never said you were going
    but i still hear your voice
    today is here without you
    flowers grow where you rest
  2. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry you went through that. that is so tough. honestly, i can't imagine losing my mate to it. i have lost friends and that's tough enough. your poem was beautiful though. i hope you may feel an unexpected peace today with all this.

    btw i don't believe i have had the chance to welcome you here. we're glad you're here. i hope for the very best for you. this really is a good bunch of people here. so if you need the support or whatever just keep reaching out. we'll listen.

    take care
  3. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    That was one of the greatest poems I've ever read. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I wish nobody had to go through with it.
  4. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I'm so sorry for your loss. :( :hug:
  5. DasWolf

    DasWolf New Member

    What I cannot figure is that I find it very hard to fall in love again. When I find someone and start to develop feelings I shy away and push away (unconsciously). This way I end up lonely again. I am at a stage where I really need someone in my life, but the fear of losing her again holds me back. The result is that I have lost my happiness. I have many friends who were happy being single/bachelors, but all are now either engaged or married and I am left.
  6. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    i totally hear ya. i'm sure it is a matter of being a subconcious thing. for me it is an outright thing. i'll be 40 next week and i don't ever plan on marrying again. i was married once for ten years. i learned relatively early on that his love for me was all conditional. what i have found works for me at least is learning to be content by myself. i have become this way. then again i've always believed i was just meant to be alone. for most people this sounds like a sad place to be. in the beginning it was kind of a sad place, but i have learned to be content with it.

    i'm not at all saying this is for you, but i think you'll find if you do become ok with it at least for the time being i think it makes things ok and tolerable. it sounds like you really do want to have someone to love, and that's a scary thing. i hope you realize that not every woman you meet is going to do that. i'm sure it was a one time deal. it's a big risk to reach out and love someone. you've been trying to it sounds like at least to some level. i would encourage you to keep reaching out and take things as slow as you want. there really is no need in rushing these things. it's ok to take it slow. in fact i would highly recommend it.

    that's just my two cents on it all. keep sharing. we're listening and please take care. you're worth having around.
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hugs** for you. My heart goes out to you.

    Thank you for sharing the poem you wrote for her. I cannot even imagine how difficult this must have been for you, and continues to be.

    You will find support here.
  8. masive

    masive Banned Member

    I am sorry for your loss!

    The poem was lovely.