Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by see, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. see

    see Well-Known Member

    I have been trying to make my life work I have read books I joined countless forums spilled my guts and talked for hours in hope that i will find some answers hell i have even phone a helpline or two and almost made it all the way to the doctor but the money got in the way,it has been a intresting journey i have met a few ppl some tried to really help some made me smile some made me cry and some ripped out my heart and stomped it into the ground and so now in the end I am back where i started 2 month ago still treading water feeling sucidal only differance is i now know there is now otherway.
    I have tried to be there for others to help but who was i kdding it was like the blind leading the blind so i stopped...... the only thing i have managed it to do is maybe make them aware that i excist and cause them some guilt and hurt when i go complicate there pain.
    I dont blame anybody its hard enough to deal with your own stuff let alone others.
    Yes i am very negative insecure neurotic and probable irrational right now actualy always been
    I seem to be the one always reaching out to get a response in desperation for some sign of affection or care ...and when u get no response or just one or two it is easy to assume that they dont really care or have time for u right now and that u just a number .....
    Anyway nothing I am saying is porobale making any sense it doesent matter in the end its like they say u have to be alive to be noticed(not sure about that one i feel pretty invisable right now) to find a solution and if u give up its your own choice then its end of the road ............
    I am sorry patience in the end you might have been te only one who really understood me and took some time to get to know me better ....... i dont know where u are right now u seem to have dissapeared i hope u have been able to find strength your life is so hectic right now i dont know how u cope but u strongh i know........:hug:Carolyn i am sorry to add to your burden to be one of those leaving u it was never my intention.Lost Child where ever u are and to anybody else who might care sorry................
  2. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

  3. see

    see Well-Known Member

  4. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  5. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Hi hun im here i havent dissapeared i promised i wouldnt an i havent we have got to know each other pretty well and u are as really good person with a sensitve nature and a natural ablity to help others in distress inow we caught up today and im o glad i wont dissapear ill stay but i wanted to post so people know how kind and genuine u all

    Tc hun talk soon:smile: cant get hug to come up monkeys will mean something to see
  6. Whitewolf

    Whitewolf Well-Known Member

    :hug: . Take care, you can get through this.