23 kg less.U

full

SF Supporter
#4
We all crave attention from those close around us and is disheartning when it is missing. I hope they do show some affection and symphaty to what you are going through. Sometimes though, we have to give them little hints as those who do not suffer are not often keen to recognize the state we are in.
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
#5
Same, 24kg. People got really worried, they still are. Friends used to meet me in private for talking about that, family worried, even my doctor (which is amazing) ordered me to go to visit her each week to control my blood pressure and my oxigen saturation for making sure that everything is ok. Appart for blood tests each three months (funny thing: best results of my life, I even beated anemia. As I told before, I want to die, but my body doesn't).
BUT and this is a problem, I use to have nausea. I don't vomit (my body is clever and knows that I need every calorie). And once I was at the ladies room after a dinner with friends and I felt that nausea. I wasn't worried, I thought I was alone but when I went out, there was a friend there. She listened me. SO...I guess she thinks I have bulimia (I don't, as a matter of fact I have kind of a phobia to vomit, I would never provoke it to myself, even when I "should" when I had food poisoning or something like that and my mother told me to do it for feeling better, I wasn't capable of doing it). A few days after, that friend told me again that I was too thin and asked if I was provoking it to myself. I told her that I wasn't but I have the feeling that she didn't believe me. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety and "anorexia risk" but only for the weight lost, not because my habits. My doctor trusts me but she wants to be sure that my usually weak health doesn't get worse for this.
And this happens to me everytime, each time somebody sees me after months or even weeks, the comment is the same. And if a dinner with friends I asked dessert, thet text me after going home saying that they are proud. As if my lost of weight was voluntary.
So...people notices. BUT sometimes they are too polite to say it or thinks that it might be a delicate issue. But you know why I am telling my story to you? Because even if people notice and get worried, compassion is nothing. It feels good to feel loved and taken care of but for me, it doesn't fix anything. And I'm very practical: I need that everything serves to a purpose. My weight loss wasn't voluntary, I ca't help it but got me nothing. I even want to push other people, there is too common in me last months saying "enough, PLEASE" or even with my best friend, we are texting and I say "PAUSE" and she knows that I'm not willing to talk (even if the subjetc was something innocent like a movie). I still don't know why people stands by me after this year. I appreciate them but, as I said...compassion is nothing when the problem is another.
After this looong text I just want to send you a hug and my best wishes for you, yor situation and your health. Body is clever, listen to him
 

Innocent Forever

Go as long as you can. And then take another step.
Chat Pro
SF Supporter
#6
Can you get professional help?
I lost 35 kilo or so primarily in the span of a couple of months. I never went on real scales so don't know, but I think that's how much it was.

The attention you need is from yourself.... and positive attention. For negative attention doesn't last.
Can you reach out to those who'll care and share what is going on?

You are worthy of living a life you love. You are special.
 

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