24 years old, and my sicko mother is obsessed with my sex life!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by A_pixie, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I live here temporarily, I'm moving out as soon as I get the cash.

    The dumb Christian cow found some condoms in my room and went into a fucking depression over it.

    I had to make up a story that they weren't mine. I'm 24.

    It is SO fucking demeaning I am NOT a teenager and I can bang anyone I like!!!

    WHAT is the big deal?! Why is she so obsessed as to what I do with my genatalia???? I don't ask her how her sex life is, I respect her as an adult and accept that she can fuck anytime she likes!!!!

    I have never been their little girl, I was polite to them as a child, but not huggy or needy - I prefered my own, solitary world and I think that got to them. I am unfeminine as hell and you would think they would be grateful I'm not gay! I am as far away from a the "daughter" stereotype as you can get, that shelf is reserved for my spoiled, bratty, princess of a sister who they spoil and feed up so that NO man will be interested enough to shag her and take her away from them, it's fucking disgusting - she will stay their little girl and not have a sex life like me. That's my guess.

    CHRISTIANS. Why can't they get over the fact that agnostics like sex?!!!! It's my **** and I can do what I like with it!

    If I was a kid, as in 14, I could understand her concerns, but at aged 24 and she gets depressed over me having a sex life...is a 24 year old woman having sex SO unusual?! Why does my mother have an unhealthy obsession with my sex life?!

    I know I should tell her to mind her own business, and I know her religion may play a part, but I just want to know WHY she wants to know exactly what me and my private parts get upto in detail! It's fucking sickening!!!!

    Guys, I need help, I need theories, what the Hell is wrong with this stupid woman WHY is she so obsessed with my sex life?!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2011
  2. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Hmm, well, I think the Christian part of it will play a huge role in why she is acting this way. There are other possibilities as well.

    It can be more of a subconscious thing. Maybe because she never had that 'daughter' figure, she was never entirely able to let go.

    I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say, because I'm bad at expressing my thoughts.

    I mean, maybe she's just still holding on, because deep down, she still believes that you could be that 'little princess'.

    Parents have a really weird way of showing that they care, but sometimes the past can play a huge role on how they treat you when you age.

    It is very unhealthy, and your mom needs to be able to let you live your life. If she confronts you again, just don't get sucked into the argument.

    Tell her you are safe, and that's what matters. I mean, wouldn't parents rather find condoms in their childs room, than nothing at all?

    I hope things work out for you. Hopefully you will get your butt out of there as soon as possible. Take care.
  3. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    This is true, you'd think she'd be grateful I'm being responsible!

    I'm never going to be her feminine daughter. I'm not gay, I find men sexy as hell, but I've always been very confused about my gender, I feel transgendered at times. I hold overly girly-girls with utter, utter contempt (not necessarily feminine people, I mean bimbo girls). They're boring, have no opinions and have bad taste in everything such as shoddy romantic comedies I mean they need putting down (in my humble opinion).


    What fucks me off the most is that if I were their son (biologically male) she probably wouldn't have as much of a problem with me daring to have sex at 24 years old. I am fed with my LONG GONE virginity making me be objectified.

    So many films out there don't help! They show the masculine uncle or dad or brother trying to save the virgin, headstrung girl from the big bad horny male teenager who wants to "use" her for sex....did it ever occur to them it's her body and she may, heaven forbid LIKE sex?!

    It's all bullshit.

    I'm not her child anymore, I am adult paying rent in her house, why can she not get it through her head that I can have sex with anyone I want, she does not own any single part of my body, and abstaining from sex so I can live here in my opinion, is a warped form of prostitution!

    Abstinence prostituion!

    Fucks sake....I need help guys....
  4. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    It is unfair. I mean, yes, men get away with sex a whole lot more than women, and if anyone tries to deny this, you're wrong.

    I mean, a woman has sex with a handful of men, and it is seen as 'slutty', but a guy can double that number, and the same title doesn't always apply.

    I think it's the same way with parents and their children in some cases. When a mother or father find out their daughter is sexually active, something kind of breaks inside of them. It's that 'Oh, my child is not longer a child' type situation. On the other hand, it is not so hard for parents to handle when their son becomes sexually active. Again, not very fair, but we have to accept it.

    I don't think you will be able to change your mother's mind. I think the best thing to do, is just avoid the subject all together, and maybe get your own place.

    Again, I wish you the best of luck. Try not to let this stress you out too much.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You will always be a child to your mother and sex is a touchy subject. Maybe next time, try doing a better job of cleaning up the 'evidence'?
  6. duka

    duka Well-Known Member

    It's probably not the sex she's worried about, unless premarital sex is wrong according to her Christian sect. It's probably more about the confusion that can come from young people having sex. She may just be worried that you'll make a mistake. That's what happened to my mom, and the reason she worries about stuff like that. She married young to a psycho and had a lot of babies whom she ended up having to raise herself, without ever having had a chance to enjoy her youth.

    If you tell your mom you like sex, that will worry her more. I'm pretty sure the reason she wants you to abstain isn't because she thinks you hate sex. On the contrary, she probably knows you like sex, and is worried that you'll following that desire into a bad situation, such as an unhappy marriage, and she'll have no way of saving you then.

    And I don't entirely agree with the "it's okay for men" thing. I know religious parents who have broken down when they found out their sons had even groped women before marriage. They want their sons to respect women, the same way they want their daughters to respect themselves.

    To be honest, you seem like you might be the angry bitchy type, which might be worrying your mom even more. Of course, that may just be because you're venting. Either way, I think the best thing to do is to talk to her. Don't storm up to her, don't scream, and don't argue. Just listen at first. And don't get defensive about religion either, like saying agnostics like sex (which isn't necessarily true, by the way). Find out what's bothering her, and try to understand it. If you just keep being defensive like this you'll never find out why she's worried and you'll never earn her respect.
  7. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Normal. Your mother cares about you. She doesn't want you to make a bad choice. If you were living somewhere else she wouldn't know and out of sight out of mind. But you're living there with her and it's in plain sight. You're going to be her daughter for the rest of your life. So if you want to have loose condoms everywhere in your room you probably need to move out. That's just the way it's.
  8. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    My point is that I'm 24, and am refusing to be infantalized. Some of these responses have missed the point, how the hell am I going to end up "making a mistake and getting pregnant" when I'm being careful??? Think about it!

    All this nionsense about me always being her child, fact is I'm not a child, and it's emotionally abusive and intrusive to try to keep your grown up offspring as children. Trying to keep your offspring as children is borderline perverted. For instance, It would be considered sexually intrusive if they insisted on bathing and dressing me - because I am NOT a child. Her obsession with what I do with my bodily parts and who I'm sleeping with is also sexually intrusive and it makes me uncomfortable.

    It's odd, my Dad is the opposite, he has "fuck who ya like" kinda attitude and respects that I'm not a kid...the daft woman on the other hand. Stupid mother.

    She knows I won't end up unhappily married as I do not believe in marriage, I have no qualms about being honest about that in front of her, and am currently going to a doctors for consultations on having my tubes tied so I do not make the mistake of reproducing in the future. I fucking hate kids and breeders who overpopulate this planet, there is NO shred of maternal feeling in me, babies bore the living shit out of me, I say this all the time to her.... I am childfree by choice and they can do nothing about it. So her worrying about me getting pregnant or married would be silly, seeing as she knows I will avoid both by all costs, and by all I mean ALL.

    I could understand her concern if I was some daft 15 year old, but I'm a 24 year old woman who knows how to be careful with it. Is she REALLY going to be asking me to abstain when I'm in my 60s and shes in her 90s simply because I think that marriage is a fucking con and kids are a waste of time? Is that fair?

    Is it "normal" to wonder what other people do with their genetalia, I certainly don't ask her if her and my father are being careful, or how often they have sex...can't she grant me the same respect as a fellow adult?

    As for the one on here who called me the angry bitchy type, I am actually quite a content person in general here, I am simply angry at this moment in time that I am not being treated like an adult here and that ALL parents have to learn to let their children go.

    Why would it worry her even I WAS the angry bitchy type, would she prefer a naive little bimbo who falls in love at the drop of a hat with the first schmuck who comes along, and doesn't use protection because she wants his "baby's", getting married at a young age and wasting her life....Fucking hell...I would rather be the angry bitchy type any day, seeing as I wouldn't fall for all that rubbish that girls are apparently supposed to be like some fucking little Bella from Twilight type throwing it all out the window for some moron! *Ahem* But most of the time I am actually quite chirpy....this isn't the forum for that though, this is where problems come to be solved.

    Oh, and I don't sleep around by the way, only have sex when Im in a stable relationship, (which at 24 years old is hardly disgusting behaiour)...which hasn't been for a long time....over a year in fact; hence why the protection is still in my room un-used lol!

    If your mother tried to bathe you right now would you let her? No, because it's a sexual invasion of privacy which is exactly what that Christian nut is doing to me right now.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2011
  9. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to say it, but there is a valid reason to waiting till marriage before having sex. Besides the bible's law that says you are doing evil with premarital sex, which obviously you have decided to ignore.

    Even in todays technology age, you still have a 1 in 10 chance of getting pregnate, and a 1 in 4 chance of catching a STD. Condoms do break, and they really dont stop all STD's (contrary to popular belief) 100% of the time.

    For example, AIDS virus is 2microns, while the average hole in a condom material is about 10microns. So it can potentially still pass through that condom. Is a condom better than nothing??? Sure it is! But so is waiting till marriage since that is the only 100% sure way of preventing STD's and unwanted kids!

    Whether you believe it or not, it sounds to me that your mom is concerned not only for your physical health, but your spirital health too.
  10. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    hmmm. the bible's really has no bearing here. your response is more bullying (just like what her mom is doing) in my opinion.

    i would give you that condoms can break and they don't stop all stds. however can you provide scientific data to back up your other claims? if not they are as irrelevant to this discussion as the bible.

    actually from what i've read the aids virus is .1 microns and the pores in condoms are generally about 5 microns. however, even though the transmission of hiv is possible through free floating in bodily fluids, it is less likely than being transmitted through cells that are infected with hiv. this means that the cells are too large to pass through the pores in condoms. research varies on how much prevention is offered by condoms. i've seen numbers as low as 68% effective to as high as 98% effective. other risk factors play a role as well (ie, iv drug use, commercial sex work, etc).

    i'm sure her mother is concerned for her daughter's health. any mother would be. her daughter is 24 though and has the right to make her own choices. in my opinion she should move out and work on establishing healthy boundaries with her overbearing mother.

    one last thing in disclosure of my own biases, as a gay man that was persecuted by his church i tend to believe religion has no place in the bedroom. what two consenting adults do with, for and to each other is their business.
  11. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member


    100% sure way of preventing STD's and unwanted kids? LOL! You have no idea how dumb that sounds. Ever heard of marrying someone with AIDS? Or people that have affairs and end up bringing an infection into a 'pre-existing' relationship? Marriage will give you less then 1% 'prevention' against STD's, INCLUDING AIDS. I hope you realise you can get AIDS from things other then just sexual contact :blink:.....

    And if you care to look around, you will see many 'unwanted' kids with married parents. Plus I'd be surprised if kids/young adults these days give a flying fuck about what the bible says.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2011
  12. nanashikun

    nanashikun Member

    I'd like to point out that it's quite possible to marry someone who has STDs, and that abstinence until marriage does not prevent the transmission of diseases or unwanted children.


    Anyway, your mother is probably just concerned for your well being. You know mothers... But she is wrong in that she isn't taking your needs into consideration. You are an independent adult. Try having a (calm) discussion with her, and leave religion out of it. If things escalate, I'd suggest just dropping the issue until you move out of there. Avoiding the problem isn't always the best solution, but sometimes it avoids the most hassle >_< While you are in the house, act like you don't know what a vagina is, then when you get out bang whomever you like and vent about your frustrations. Stay safe :)
  13. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    The bible also states that slavery is perfectly fine, that rabbits chew the cud, that eating shrimp is a one way ticket to Hell and that if somebody rapes your daughter they owe you some silver coins and are to marry your daughter instead of a going to jail!

    Are your parents married? If not, the Bible says you aren't even allowed in the church you keep banging on about, and apparently ten generations down from you are damned simply for having non-married great-great-great (you get the idea) grandparents!


    Fucks's sake...
  14. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Rabbits eat their faeces after they are digested for the first time. It's basically the same as chewing cud. This is a minor point.

    My major point is that if you are living with your parents you cannot be a true adult. You are still dependent and therefore still their children. This is not to say that your sex life is their business, but your sex life IN THEIR HOUSE may be a psychological problem - very few parents want to know their little girl is having sex, even if they realise it's probably the case. And you count as their little girl because you're not an independent adult, regardless of age.

    I'm not trying to belittle you; my main suggestion here is to keep your sex life widely separated from your parents (i.e. hide the condoms better).

    (Also, I'm living with my parents again and I feel way less like an adult than I did while living on my own, I'm not trying to belittle those who live with their parents.)
  15. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I'm not dependant though, I'm renting while at college so I'm hardly ever here. She has my money, how is it different from having an unrelated adult renting?

    Maybe my lack of maternal instincts and strong desire to have my womb removed (in all seriousness, I'm looking into it) has something to do with this.

    My point about it being inapproriate to dictate an adult's sex life stands - say for instance, I got sick at aged 50, and had to move back in with my mother who would be 80 - would she be right in asking me not to have sex with anyone ever at all simply because I do not believe in marriage?

    Would it be seually inappropriate for her to run my a bath and bathe me as a 24 year old? Yes, and in this way her asking questions about the fact that I am sexually active at 24 years old is an invasion of sexual privacy.

    I'm sure Jozef Fritzel thought his daughter was his little girl, and that she was not allowed to bang anyone, and didn't that situation come up roses! (Trying to make light of this topic before anyone brands me ridiculous)

    Stupid mother...She'll be asking me to stop the cocaine abuse next..... I joke.

    My point is...is it really so unusual for a 24 year old to be sexually active? I it really a shocker worthy of a news story...?
  16. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Knowing that it's -probably- the case and knowing that it's -definitely- the case are very different things. I'm pretty sure my parents have sex, but I'd be frankly disturbed if I found evidence, for example. I like to assume they had sex exactly as many times as they had children. It's something I don't want to know about. And your sex life is something your mom doesn't know about. So don't let her know about it.
  17. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    That's very true, she didn't need to ask me though, if I stumbled across those in her room the most I would do is shudder and try to forget about it...I wouldn't ask what she was doing with them I mean three guesses lol!