~24hrs to go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by baz213, Jan 22, 2010.

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  1. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    I just booked a hotel room, got my methods sorted and I've written a note. I'd like to thank the people that responded to my Welcome thread, especially 1234. You gave some good advice (might be worth a stickie) but my mind's made up.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you can take some of that advice Ihope you can call crisis for help
    I think we all just want the pain to go away and to have peace thats all.
    If you can just reach out for some help some support you will be able to stay a little longer and what may be another day.
    Reach out now while your mind is still able get help okay
     
  3. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    I've been giving this a lot of thought over the past 6 or 7 months and I feel like suicide is the right option. I know that can be hard for others to accept or even understand but it feels right.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If feels right because you depression is distorted your thought process into thinking this way. You want the sadness to go the pain to go the fatigue to go You want a life that is happy then get support get some help and start changing things It can be done each day is a new day for hope take care
     
  5. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    I haven't really felt sad or unhappy in years.
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You said you haven't felt sad or unhappy; how do you feel?

    :hug: I really hope you reconsider your decision.
     
  7. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    Most of the time I feel bored or indifferent. The last couple of nights I've had trouble sleeping. I feel anxious and a little excited. This is normally how I feel before I leave on a trip. It's a bit scary but in a good way.
     
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's causing you to want to die? Is it the boredom, the indifference, or is there more to it?
     
  9. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    Not really. I don't feel like I've anything to live for. I've felt this way for years but I've always convinced myself that things would get better. I've got a loving supportive family, I used to have some very close friends, but it's not enough. I don't know what to do to change my situation. I've tried immersing myself in work, moving away from home, going to uni, travelling, but nothing seems to make me feel any different. It's like I'm stalling for time.
     
  10. molotov

    molotov Well-Known Member

    it is the opposite of hard for us to understand what it is like to feel suicidal.. but it is hard to know what to say in response when we don't know very much about your situation.

    why do you think it is the right option? what are the other options you rejected?
     
  11. molotov

    molotov Well-Known Member

    just saw that you responded while i was writing

    have you ever been in any kind of counseling or support for this? i understand the dysthymic/indifferent/blah variety of depression is harder to recognize and treat cos you're not just wailing and tearing your hair out all the time, but it is just as much of a mental illness..
     
  12. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    I've never been in counselling. I can't imagine how it could help.
     
  13. molotov

    molotov Well-Known Member

    er, i dunno, same reason that people come here, except more focused and in person.. someone to talk to who can give you strategies for breaking the whole suicidal-not-suicidal cycle, help you discover what's causing you to feel like this.. maybe a support group with other people who feel like this and can talk about what worked for them, or maybe medication if that seems like a good route.. i dunno, your mileage may vary

    point is, you'd be doing yourself a disservice to check out before you've explored any of your mental health options, just to see. changing your life situation works for some people but if you've already booked the hotel room i think that's a pretty clear sign that you need help, and you deserve it
     
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm so glad you're still alive!!! :hug: Here if you want to talk.
     
  15. baz213

    baz213 Active Member

    Hi. This morning the reality of my situation dawned on me, I started to panic and after some thought I realised that I wouldn't be able to go through with killing myself.

    I'm not sure what happens next. I'm going to try to follow 1234's advice.
     
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