I'm not sure what to do. I feel so isolated. Part of me wants to end this but another part is hanging on. I feel selfish for even posting a thread, as if I am simply wasting space and time of people who have better things to do...if they were to even bother to read this meaningless post at all. I feel immobilized and incapable of getting any better. There's just this complete lack of emotion which alternates with anxiety and sadness. My ex got angry at me the other day for wanting to end this and told me that I would be missed. Why is it so easy to overlook them? I guess I just think they would be better off...even if they dont realize it at first. I'm the mother holding her child back from poking the electrical socket with a metal fork, right? Ha. He told me that he'd sacrificed a lot and asked me why I thought he hadn't applied for an out-of-state college. Right. I know his intention was to show that he cared about me and because he had cared for me, had sacrified possible attendance at a better college but geez, the guilt. I'm simply sick of the days feeling endless. I'm tired of the feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. It sounds, even to me, like a petty thing that could be easily fixed by a quick slap to the face and a 'Get over it' but it's just not that simple. It's so intense and I'm just not sure how much longer I can deal. I'm sorry if this sounds selfish and petty. I'm sorry for wasting your time on this post. I just don't know what to say or do anymore. And I guess I wanted to talk, even if it meant nobody would listen.