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3 days until the judgemt day (may trig)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Feb 5, 2009.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    3 days, and then im going to admit myself into a hospital
    Im planning to stay there for about 3 months
    and from then there will be 2 ways, up and down
    if after all this brain nuking chemical treatment will work, and i will
    be able to work, then everything is great!
    but here come the down option, i will go so low that i feel like i will
    start cutting for the first time in my life.
    I already was very close to cutting many times yet i helt myself
    by knowing that one day i will nuke my brain so hard that i wont remember who i am.
    And hopefully be fixed for life.

    Wish me luck
  2. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Why are you waiting 3 days? If you need help you should get it as soon as possible?

    I wish you the best of luck and hope that going to hospital can turn your life over to the better.

    If you can please keep us updated during your stay in hospital, not sure if that's possible though.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Good luck hun, keep us updated on your progress :)

    I hope you get the help you need, I'll be thinking of you xx
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    thx guys :)
    I can only go there in 3 days because my psychtriest arranged me
    to meet a "spacial" doctor who is on holidays now
    this doctor is supposed to be the one who really know how to use
    the strongest chemicals so that i will be able to fix my head.
    And i will be back home every weekend so i will be able to update

    Now, im worrying about 1 thing...
    Its an Ukranian hospital which means that they can use me to experiment
    new ways of treatments and new chemical treatments.
    Now i may agree to do so (i will do anything to get rid of my mental issues)
    but there is a risk i will become desabled for the rest of my life
    even with brain damage or kidney damage or memory lose.
    I mean, they can even do experiments on me without my knowlage...
    (even though there is law to protect people like me, no one inforcing it)
  5. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Can't you sign a legal document restricting them to certain things, which they can do with you?

    Did you talk about your fear to your doc?
  6. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Good luck, i hope it helps :)
  7. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I hope that things will go well at the hospital and that you will feel much better when you go home. Le us know how things go when you can
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